AIBU to think thisDy is setting her kids up for a big fall

[Sadoldbag]

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2520667/Unschooling-children

I think the daughter couldn't hack school due to not ever having to follow any rules

And this is not a new wave of parenting it's as old as time it's called bad parenting there have always been children and always will be who are allowed to do what ever.

Sadly these children tend to struggle when in any formal environment also I wonder why any parent who has no job due to there own lack of education would not want better for children

Homeschooling can be fantastic how ever I think these children are not getting the education or structure they have a right to

I really don't see that the article says she lets her kids play minecraft 24/7. It gave minecraft as an example of one activity they do. Others mentioned were cooking, visiting the shops and park, board games, collecting found objects, looking up answers to questions using the internet, reading, writing. I bet they do loads more than that as well.

Is that what social dance is? Why not just call it Scottish dancing?

I wish we could homeschool but DS needs the interaction and we don't have any other way to get it.

Sparkly your son's education sounds top notch. The only thing I wonder about is his social development, particularly if he isn't interested in group HE activities?

Here, Bernice (she's written about it repeatedly but mostly behind the paywall). She was the eldest of eight and did go to school until she was 11, but none of the children went after that point.

Although rereading that, I seem to have got her novel-writing age wrong (should have been 16 rather than 14).

No Bertie, it doesn't. However reading Unschooling forums will lead to lots of angst ridden posts about whether or not you're a true unschooler if you put limits on anything. Some of those kids are genuinely spending all day at the PC while mommy brings them mung bean salad. But it's ok, because they're learning maths. And, um, computer 'skills'.

Thanks, AnAdventure. Hmm. That sounds very sink or swim!

Yes, DS did end up going to school and taking his exams, but it took over a year, when at primary age, to undo the damage school had done.
As I said, this sort of learning may not suit everyone, but for some, it's a good idea. We do not know this family; however, if the children are engaged, interested, able to conduct conversations and able to act reasonably well in social situations (and sn needs being borne in mind), then so what. They will probably become well rounded adult contributers to society.

We H.ed and it is working great for us, have yet to found a reason to return to school, but obviously will do if the need arises.
I think there are several posts here where people seem to think they know, what H.ed is like.

Well he has autism Cailin so it kind of has to be on his terms really, that was the main reason for pulling him out of school. Forced social interaction was literally robbing him of his mental health. He spends quite a lot of time with his cousins and also still has a couple of friends from when he was at school. Just found an autism only youth club as well which we are going to give a go. Only thing is he is very high functioning so how well he manages there remains to be seen. Most of the other autistic children we came across are much lower functioning and his play with NT children has to be scaffolded so it is difficult. But we keep plugging on .

Maybe, but that sounds like the same kind of angst you get on AP forums where somebody says "But if I take the hammer off little Johnny doesn't that count as a punishment? Am I breaking his spirit?" and on decent forums everyone says, no, it's damage control, of course you need to set limits while also being AP/"gentle".

I think unschooling can be fantastic. I think it would have been great for me. I have zero motivation now.

We definitely have routine, meals at set times, eat your veg, tidy your room, bedtimes etc. I am not a true radical unschooler but it's like anything, you take what you want from it.

Ah I see. Do you have much info/help around targeted social teaching for children with autism? Things like social stories? One researcher I know looks at using virtual reality games to teach social skills in children with ASD. I agree that forcing social interaction is totally counterproductive.

Have you ever read the likes of mothering.com? They're very much support only.

Thinking about it, I'd have to radically Unschool dc as the chances of dc actually listening to a bloody word I say are pretty damn slim. And at least I wouldn't have to spend the next hour bellowing GO TO SLEEP!

Everybody is different.

As sparkly states they are structured with meal times, bedtimes etc, we are not.
This has nothing to do with H.ed but with dds interests which would be the same if she attended school.
I agree with Sparkly You take what you want from it, what suits one family will be completely wrong for another.

I try to stay away from any kind of radical American forum as they make me a bit stabby. Sorry to generalise! I have seen bits of mothering.com and it does fall into that category IME.

He had social stories at school but to be honest we have not really found a need for them out of school as he is always with someone who can help support him through social interactions, all family members are aware, so is learning on the job so to speak. I have just done a module in autism with the OU and I seem to remember something about those virtual social situations you mention. There was certainly programmes for helping autistic people recognise and learn various facial expressions. We do have lists around the house in each room of how to do things, in what order etc eg morning routine, bathroom routine etc. Those are very helpful.

I think Mary Shelley, whose mother wrote vast tracts on female education, was certainly educated as best a girl could be at the time, whether in a school environment or not.
The Brontes went to two schools, though their first is hardly an advert for boarding, I admit! Charlotte's head teacher became a friend, who gave her away at her wedding. Thence to Brussels, which forms the basis for Villette.
Austen prob not, but again vociferous on the crap education girls received at the time.

(sorry, that was in reply to minifingers whose post was at the bottom of my unrefreshed page!)

Kung it's not all Scottish

To go back to the OP, it looks like the usual DM hatchet job though doesn't it? Totally agree why mention her disabled partner if it's not to put the boot in?

similar but in The Guardian so some may find it more palatable

Dear god I think I'd have a nervous breakdown if I had to home school my kids!

We did autonomous home ed with one of our DC (I dislike the term 'home schooling' as that makes it sound like school at home, and it's the antithesis of that.)

Anyway, both DC (school-educated and home-educated) are at university and the home-educated one is on a scholarship abroad where he's doing very well. Doing things at his own pace and in his own way didn't mean he avoided hard work. And he had loads of opportunities for social interaction - both formal and informal - when he was out of school (via sports, mainly, but also other activities).

Whether it's workable or not all depends on the child, the parent and the family dynamic imo. My school-educated DC would have hated home ed but my other child thrived on it after being miserable at school.

I haven't read the link, tho, as don't want to go on the DM site.

YABU. They don't need GCSE's or A-levels to get into University if that is what they want to do. Many Home Educated children enter University based on interview.

They can do formal qualifications if they choose.

Children do have a natural drive to learn. IMO, they will learn more effectively, if that isn't messed with by forcing them to learn a prescribed curriculum.

thenames

You are so right, this is exactly how we have been with dd and where she struggled at school she is making huge improvements because we didn't force her to do the thing she struggled with.
Her schooled friends can't believe the change and improvement, just after one year.
I was panicking at first and really wondered if this approach would work and even admit to having little faith, but we are all so pleased with the improvement in particular dds handwriting. Where she hated writing anything as it was almost illegible, now it is beautiful and she is writing for pleasure, not because somebody is telling her to.

My children are Home Educated. I started out with more structure, but as we've gained confidence, we have less and less. My ds came out of school a year ago, with lousy handwriting, and since then his writing has come on in leaps and bounds - he taught himself joined up writing because he wanted to write like a knight! He has also learnt to multiply and divide, and basic fractions, just through play, with some input from me that's led by his questions.

Socially, he does much better than he did in school. He sees other children most days. Again, he does better because it isn't forced.