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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think thisDy is setting her kids up for a big fall

127 replies

Sadoldbag · 09/12/2013 16:31

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2520667/Unschooling-children

I think the daughter couldn't hack school due to not ever having to follow any rules

And this is not a new wave of parenting it's as old as time it's called bad parenting there have always been children and always will be who are allowed to do what ever.

Sadly these children tend to struggle when in any formal environment also I wonder why any parent who has no job due to there own lack of education would not want better for children

Homeschooling can be fantastic how ever I think these children are not getting the education or structure they have a right to

OP posts:
DazzleU · 09/12/2013 18:23

It reads like an anti-home school piece.

sparklysilversequins · 09/12/2013 18:25

I went to school, I hated it, was bullied mercilessly throughout. I left with 4 GCSE's only 2 were higher than a C grade.

I have been in the army, been a recruitment consultant big bucks, managed a bar, been a medical secretary, I now almost have a degree in Child Psychology and development and hope to be a SN teacher.

My ds is autonomously educated and it works perfectly for us. I think if you can't see how some children might thrive in that kind of education and the lack of limits in learning that offers then you're probably a bit limited in thinking yourself and school obviously didn't you much good.

KatieScarlett2833 · 09/12/2013 18:25

The best thing about primary school was social dancing!
Anyone for an eightsome reel?

DazzleU · 09/12/2013 18:27

I seriously don't the taught themselves to read write and understand numbers so I think some adult obviously had some input at some point and now they seem to be building on DC interests.

They do keep tabs on home schoolers - so I image she'd be getting someone round to check what she was actually doing probably quiet soon if she hasn't already.

DazzleU · 09/12/2013 18:28

doubt - not don't - honesty I can read and write I went to school and everything.

BerniceBroadside · 09/12/2013 18:29

There is a massive difference between child led learning and pissing about on mine craft 24/7. You only have to read some of the posts on Unschooling forums (such as on mothering.com) to realise that. If a child can't read and write at age 12 (and doesn't have a disability) they're probably not just a 'late bloomer', you've more than likely failed them.

I have no issues with home educating or child led learning. I have massive issues with educational neglect.

NewtRipley · 09/12/2013 18:35

I can think of a few children who would be happier and learn as much through pursuing their interests (with guidance) at home.

OTOH, the great advantage of school is being exposed to other people's interests and other people's guidance and expectations/perceptions

NewtRipley · 09/12/2013 18:36

Katie

YY. I loved Country Dancing.

ll31 · 09/12/2013 18:36

Am veering towards neglect tbh.... She doesn't seem anyway concerned re what they're learning or no

sparklysilversequins · 09/12/2013 18:38

They do keep tabs yes, though you legally don't have to engage with the local authority if you don't want to. We do because I welcome any input and have nothing to hide.

We do between 4 and 6 x 10 minute periods of maths a day, that is the only formal "educating" we do. Ds reads to me and I give him a non fiction book usually related to his interests two - three times a week, children in WW2's experiences this week. We go cycling, swimming and rock climbing regularly (an activity every day). We go to galleries, museums, exhibitions at least twice a week (in London so there's always something going on). We do projects on subjects he's interested in, we go to groups with other HE kids every now and then but most of the time he can't be bothered so won't go. We do have relative structure to his day in that we drop and pick his dsis up from school each day so it's not like we're lolling around in bed till 12.

He's thriving and when I think of the practically catatonic child I was picking up at the end of each day I know we made the right choice.

OhMerGerd · 09/12/2013 18:38

My alarm bells ring the minute I see someone using the term 'meeja studies'. I've not done media studies and neither have my DC but I do find the the parroting of pejorative phrases coined (ironically)by 'media' commentators with an agenda depressing, and especially in a discussion about education and the content thereof.

Media studies with its focus on comprehension, literary criticism, creative writing, comparative analysis, research, digital media production etc and taught in a formal schooling environment would probably be of greater benefit to a developing mind than the minecraft these children apparently spend lots of time sit staring into a screen to play. I know all home schooling is not like this but this does not appear to be the example by which to make the case.

Indeed if more people had the critical thinking skills that studying media studies would develop perhaps they'd be less susceptible to the agendas of media commentators or political lobbyists and discussions about issues like education could be framed in a context that might produce a life long learning education system that was helpful for all of us.

Hoiking up my judgey pants and getting myself a Biscuit

SomethingkindaOod · 09/12/2013 18:40

softlysoftly sorry Blush totally missed the tongue in cheek. Have now put my glasses on and am reading the thread properly...

sparklysilversequins · 09/12/2013 18:41

Oh and yes he is a free reader and was from age 7. His handwriting is shocking however (dyspraxia) but we are working on it and he's fully literate when typing.

SomethingkindaOod · 09/12/2013 18:42

It was the barn dance at our school..
Heel toe heel toe
Jump
Back 1,2,3.
Until we wanted to weep...

lisad123everybodydancenow · 09/12/2013 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

softlysoftly · 09/12/2013 18:51

something no worries I may have been a titch bitchy Wink

Sparkly by your own description then you should be equally annoyed at this lazy portrait of HS. You obviously take the time to open up their hotizons. She just as obviously (even given the dm spin) doesn't.

NewtRipley · 09/12/2013 18:52

I might consider this (sparkly's version) for DS1 is I thought we wouldn't end up killing each other

Tapiocapearl · 09/12/2013 18:52

The article is from the daily fail. What more needs to be said?

Our education system is very much a machine preparing children to work/pay tax etc. Of corse the authorities want everyone to fit in to their moulds.

I've met a whole range of home educators who go just that - home educate and mostly to a very high standard. Most do go through de schooling which a means of casting off a main stream mindset/timetable. De schooling takes months usually. Then after a while children start to show interest in various things - snowballing into inspiring projects where experiments are completed, visits made, research done etc. Home educating is often very social and people often share interests/activities. Of course occasionally just like mainstream students, homeschooled students won't get what they need.

minifingers · 09/12/2013 18:58

Dunno.

Most middle class women didn't go to school 200 years ago.

I'm sure they didn't roam the street like a pack of wolves.

Don't think the Mary Shelley, any of the Brontes or Jane Austen went to school.

However, the majority of UK prisoners under 30 have done 12 years in full-time education, yet most are illiterate, ignorant and (clearly) unable to lead a normal life as members of society.

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine · 09/12/2013 18:59

I haven't read the DM article but, for example, Caitlin Moran and her siblings were all radically unschooled. Most of them went to university, one to Cambridge; Caitlin herself didn't but she had a novel published at 14, started working as a music journalist at 16 and now has her own column in the Times.

It doesn't mean it's right for every family, obviously. And that was before the public library system started being systematically dismantled.

sparklysilversequins · 09/12/2013 19:05

I'm on a FB group she's on and she didn't even do that article for the DM. It was sold on.

I wonder if you noticed how they slipped in information about her "registered disabled partner". WTF has that got to do with anything? They want to paint a picture of a certain kind of unmarried, scrounging person who can't even be bothered to educate her kids and it's utter bullshit.

NewtRipley · 09/12/2013 19:11

Typical DM. All insinuations

BerniceBroadside · 09/12/2013 19:15

Really, AnAdventure? I don't remember that from her book. At least some of them definitely had some formal education. I seem to recall tv and wanking taking precedence over child led learning.

Anniegetyourgun · 09/12/2013 19:16

Excuse me if I have the wrong end of the stick as I didn't go to university myself (my boys did but, like many young men, don't actually talk about what went on - which might be just as well). Don't students have to kind of un-learn the methods they were using at school, the sitting in rows having information thrust at them, and then learn again how to manage their own time and take responsibility for their own study? A levels tend to be a bit of a transition phase, semi-autonomous, semi-spoonfed. University students who wait around to be told what to do get a bit of a rude awakening, or worse, rarely wake at all.

moobaloo · 09/12/2013 19:19

Tapiocapearl "Our education system is very much a machine preparing children to work/pay tax etc. Of corse the authorities want everyone to fit in to their moulds. "

Very nicely put.

CakeandWine Glad someone mentioned Caitlin Moran, I read her novel published when she was 14 "The Chronicles of Narmo" and it was the best thing I ever read at the time and helped my whole family get used to the idea of home educating.

I was home educated from the age of 13 and didn't have structured days, although I did begin GCSEs from home immediately as this was what my friends at school were doing so it seemed right. I had the simple choice given to me by my parents which was "We've paid for the courses, now you do the work. We don't mind when or how you do it, as long as you do it. Or you'll go back to school." Simple choice. I did the work. Passed the GCSEs. Got grades which would have got me into both college and university but turned both down in favour of a career which started at aged 16 and landed me in management by age 19. I'm now putting it on hold to have my first child aged 21 and I do not regret a thing! Home Educating made me a self-disciplined person with an extremely strong work ethic and, most importantly, a strong sense of self belief.

School CAN be an excellent experience for many children and teens and can turn out some excellent adults. However it's not for everyone.

Autonomous Home Educating can encourage children's natural interest and allow them to pursue their interests instead of spending hours a day effectively wasting their time. The children I have met who have been home schooled for their entire lives have been, without exception, the nicest, best at conversation (with all ages) and most interested (in life and things that go on) children I know.

Oops. I didn't mean for that to be long!