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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be scared of the future? what will become of people like us?? pensions / housing related

310 replies

applejacket · 09/12/2013 11:41

dh is 42, i am 34, we don't own our house, and never likely to (bad credit in past plus not high enough income for mortgage and barely any savings for deposit etc). we rent a council house atm

dh has worked FT consistently since 15 but he has only just started paying into his company pension as they have to now. but will probably be worth fuck all when he retires

i am a SAHM with 2 dcs, 4 and 7, and one on the way , i worked from 16 - 26 full time and last couple of years have done a bit of self employed cleaning work but hardly anything really and not doing it anymore now i am pg.

dh earns ok money but not enough to either get a mortgage, or save anything. we don't struggle day to day at all really, but dont really have anything to save. and recently i have been really worried about the future

i am intending to go back to work when the dcs are older but god knows who would employ me, i have no qualifications other than some average gcse's and a levels from nearly 20 years ago. Hmm and i can't afford to re train in anything either

what will happen to us when we are older?? when we are still renting and retired? will we be homeless? tbh its the fact we are renting that scares me the most, i would feel so much more secure if we owned our house.

i honestly sometimes feel that our only hope is a lottery win or something Hmm

OP posts:
ElenorRigby · 10/12/2013 12:15

You are right Ophelia in that the country is buggered. I dont let talk about that too much anymore because it just scares people.

arethereanyleftatall · 10/12/2013 12:16

We'll said midnite scribbler.
Get a job, dear Liza, dear Liza. You have chosen to have an easy life for the last ten years and clearly plan to for the next five. Why not take responsibility for your own pension?

Lazysuzanne · 10/12/2013 12:18

It's difficult to see how the problems of unaffordable housing can be addressed. If interest rates go up and prices crash that'd cause wide spread problems with repossessions.

But surely life's basic essentials need to be affordable?

Lazysuzanne · 10/12/2013 12:22

But isn't having children making a contribution to society?

Without them there will be no one to generated future wealth, look after the older generation.
Having children involves massive personal sacrifice for no personal material benefit.

The benefits go to society at large

ElenorRigby · 10/12/2013 12:24

There is no will to sort out unaffordable housing so how can it be addressed.
The vested interests will keep the plates spinning as long as they can and bugger the people who are suffering.

arethereanyleftatall · 10/12/2013 12:29

Having 2 children per couple makes sense for society. Having a third is a massive luxury.
Fouranddone wondered (bizarrely) how having a third child affects a pension. Well it means you don't work for a further 5 years, when you could have made £50I (10k per year) easily during that time. Deposit on house sorted. Your choice not to.

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 10/12/2013 12:35

But isn't having children making a contribution to society?

Not if others have to pay for them. whilst limiting their own family size.

Original poster
applejacket · 10/12/2013 12:37

Get a job, dear Liza, dear Liza. You have chosen to have an easy life for the last ten years and clearly plan to for the next five

lol at "chosen to have an easy life" arethereanyleftatall

some of this thread is veering towards SAHM bashing imo

also, i am intending to get a job. and i have worked in a self employed capacity (albeit part time) since having the dcs. read my posts.

and yes agree with lazysuzanne - isn't having children making a contribution to society? Without them there will be no one to generated future wealth, look after the older generation.
Having children involves massive personal sacrifice for no personal material benefit. The benefits go to society at large

of course having children is making a contribution to society but some people don't see that

OP posts:
ActionA · 10/12/2013 12:40

*But isn't having children making a contribution to society?

Without them there will be no one to generated future wealth, look after the older generation.
Having children involves massive personal sacrifice for no personal material benefit.
The benefits go to society at large*

No personal material benefit? Seriously? Aside from the massive emotional reward and pleasure in having children, there is also potentially somebody there to help look after you in old age. And yes, having children is an important job, but it is possible to do this AND work. As another poster just pointed out, having a third child is a massive luxury. Not sure having a third child, relying on the state to provide your housing and failing to make a contribution through work/tax is of massive benefit to society at large...

VenusDeWillendorf · 10/12/2013 12:41

OP nobody knows what's going to happen in the future.

All we can do is make the most of each day we live.

Most probably we will all be working till we are in our 70s, I know I will be, but then I have my own business was and couldn't imagine retiring.

No one owes anyone a living, and that is what pensions are.
Basically those working are paying the pensions, as they are paid out of the tax take.

Pensions were started in Prussia by Bismarck, in 1870, for men who were in the army who were over 70 years old and had no families to look after them.
The fact now that fit, healthy and supported people who are 65 are getting them is absolutely unsustainable and ridiculous. Our life expectancy is much much higher now then in 1870, which makes the idea of a pension now even more of a ridiculous idea. A free ride for 30 years is not what they were set up for.

If you want to try and save, you'll find the interest rate for savings is less than the rising cost of living, so you're losing money.

As I say, take one day at a time, and keep positive, support your children to achieve more qualifications than you and your dp have, as it's very difficult to get a job if you've so few qualifications.

If having 3 children and providing for them in thefuture worries you, well then revisit your family planning methods. Not everyone can afford to have big families, and you have a responsibility to look after the ones you have, but I suppose you know that [:D]

When your children are older, maybe start your own business- what are you most interested in? That can become your business. There are a lot of supports for setting up your own business, so get cracking, and get some help to do just that.

ActionA · 10/12/2013 12:42

Nobody is SAHP bashing. They are "have more children than the average family, rely on other people to pay for your housing, don't contribute through work/tax and then MOAN ABOUT YOUR CHOICES" bashing.

ActionA · 10/12/2013 12:46

And don't be disingenuous OP, you didn't say you'd been working "part time". Your exact words were:

i am a SAHM with 2 dcs, 4 and 7, and one on the way , i worked from 16 - 26 full time and last couple of years have done a bit of self employed cleaning work but hardly anything really

arethereanyleftatall · 10/12/2013 12:47

I'm not sahp bashing. I'm one myself. But I don't expect some stranger to sort my pension out.

Lazysuzanne · 10/12/2013 12:56

I think we are heavily conditioned to see having children as a selfish act.

Make no mistake they are a net cost, they don't stay around to work the family farm and look after the old folk as in rural societies.

ActionA · 10/12/2013 12:58

I don't think anybody said they did. But lots of children do contribute to care for their parents in old age in a range of ways.

Lazysuzanne · 10/12/2013 12:59

Not regarding child rearing as valuable work is just a way of dismissing the contributions that primary carers make to society as a whole.

ARealPickle · 10/12/2013 13:03

What sort of jobs will not-brilliantly mobile 60/70 year olds be doing (ie people like me. I can't imagine myself teaching at 70, but none of the alternative career paths I'm looking at look great either.) I'm increasingly seeing redundancies amongst those even in their early 40s in banking type jobs.

ActionA · 10/12/2013 13:03

Who has said they don't think child rearing is valuable work? All people have said is that it's silly to have a greater than average number of children, not be willing to work at the moment, and ALSO moan about future security. Perhaps you could take a rest from grinding that axe for a minute and look at what's actually been said, not what you think has been.

ziggiestardust · 10/12/2013 13:04

I think the future is that more people will take in parents. They will sell their house, and so will the child, and they will buy a larger one together; perhaps with an annexe, or the sale of the parents' home (or savings, if they don't own their own home) will pay for a self contained extension on the new house.

Then there will be someone to look in on elderly parents, watch out for them and keep them company, pick them up if they fall, help get them to doctors appointments and so on.

With people being healthier and generally more able bodied for longer, I truly think this will be more commonplace.

ziggiestardust · 10/12/2013 13:10

arealpickle I think more older people will be working 3/4 days per week as receptionists, library assistants, shop assistants, bank clerks etc. Not unskilled professions you understand, just less pressured than working in a busy a&e unit or something!

I'd definitely do something. I cannot bear the thought of a long retirement. The amount of people I have known who have stopped work and been dead within a few years is significant, compared to those who stayed working part time, or did voluntary work if they didn't need the money. I can't imagine anything worse than retiring tbh! Might as well give me a spade on my last day at work and I'll dig my own grave. It's not for everyone.

Lazysuzanne · 10/12/2013 13:23

I can't see communal living being popular, currently single person households are on the rise.

Should we have to pay taxes into the welfare state and do the work of the welfare state ie provide care and shelter for the generations above and below us?

ActionA · 10/12/2013 13:30

This reply has been deleted

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Chippingnortonset123 · 10/12/2013 13:36

There are not enough young people to support the number of people retiring. I expect to see beggars on the street when the forty something's of today hit old age.

Ubik1 · 10/12/2013 13:44

We are mortgaged til 68

We will work until we physically can no longer do the job and then be shunted into a care home to die. There won't be any retirement cruises ot existential angst about 'what am I to do with my life now...' as experienced by many baby boomers on retirement.

And I'm not going to ask my daughters to look after me - it looks like they will have their own problems 15 years down the line, trying to get secure housing and raise a family if they want to.

Ubik1 · 10/12/2013 13:46

And I think it's hugely complacent to shrug shoulders and expect that as a 'first world country' we will be looked after. China and India do not owe us a living or a certain lifestyle. DP already competes for work with Bangalore.