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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be scared of the future? what will become of people like us?? pensions / housing related

310 replies

applejacket · 09/12/2013 11:41

dh is 42, i am 34, we don't own our house, and never likely to (bad credit in past plus not high enough income for mortgage and barely any savings for deposit etc). we rent a council house atm

dh has worked FT consistently since 15 but he has only just started paying into his company pension as they have to now. but will probably be worth fuck all when he retires

i am a SAHM with 2 dcs, 4 and 7, and one on the way , i worked from 16 - 26 full time and last couple of years have done a bit of self employed cleaning work but hardly anything really and not doing it anymore now i am pg.

dh earns ok money but not enough to either get a mortgage, or save anything. we don't struggle day to day at all really, but dont really have anything to save. and recently i have been really worried about the future

i am intending to go back to work when the dcs are older but god knows who would employ me, i have no qualifications other than some average gcse's and a levels from nearly 20 years ago. and i can't afford to re train in anything either

what will happen to us when we are older?? when we are still renting and retired? will we be homeless? tbh its the fact we are renting that scares me the most, i would feel so much more secure if we owned our house.

i honestly sometimes feel that our only hope is a lottery win or something

OP posts:

Lazysuzanne · 09/12/2013 12:15

Machines and computers will do most of the work, most of the population will be older we'll all be able to just relax and play golf.

Working till you die may be the norm in in the past and in less advanced countries, but we live in the first world.
Why are you all so pessimistic, do you think we're going to revert to pre modern conditions?

FourAndDone · 09/12/2013 12:16

I think everybody is worried that we won't have enough money to survive Suzanne

Bowlersarm · 09/12/2013 12:17

Ladysuzanne, I would love to share your positive outlook. Relaxing and playing golf sound great. I hope you're right, but I don't think you will be. I'm in the 'you'll have to work til you drop' camp.

Badvocatyuletide · 09/12/2013 12:18

My fil retired early @ 58 and is still going strong @ 71.
My dad was still working ft until he died suddenly @ 67.
I know which I would have preferred for my dad.
It all depends on the person...my dad dreaded retirement, my fil loves it and is quite happy to potter around.
It also depends on your financial position...as with any other section of society, it's not much fun being poor.

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 09/12/2013 12:20

Yes Rpeg op having a third child is the reason she won't have a pension in the future angry

actually delaying getting back to work even more than the 8 years than the op has already been not working will have an ever increasing effect on her ability to prepare for old age.

Original poster

applejacket · 09/12/2013 12:20

Yes Rpeg op having a third child is the reason she won't have a pension in the future...
There's always one idiot

LOL fouranddone :o you got there before i did

OP posts:

SilverApples · 09/12/2013 12:22

'apple - if you haven't work from 26-34+, it is going to be hard for you. but you can and will have to get though it.

you have made your choices, as have we all.'

Me? I've been working FT since I was 22, am now in my 50s. I should be fine.
It's OH who is stuffed, but I might keep him.

FourAndDone · 09/12/2013 12:23

Well I'm glad I had my children now and delayed going back to work! There worth much more than a comfy retirement

Rpeg · 09/12/2013 12:24

Yes Rpeg op having a third child is the reason she won't have a pension in the future
There's always one idiot

Where exactly did I say that having a third child was the reason the OP won't have a pension in the future? I'm genuinely asking why anybody with such generalised financial anxiety about the future would have a third child when they are so financially insecure. One, yes, two, maybe (wants DC to have a sibling) but three? Not saying they're bad people for doing it, but it seems odd.
There's always one who won't/can't read what was actually said.

Lazysuzanne · 09/12/2013 12:24

Ok I'm exaggerated a bit but there will be lots of us savvy fit older folks, we'll have political clout, we won't just stay home and rot.

Try and be more positive :o

Sixtiesqueen · 09/12/2013 12:24

It's not true that most people who own property have inherited it or had generous parents.

We own a house, quite a big one. We paid every penny ourselves. The only time we ever received money was £3000 when dh's granny died, which we spent on our honeymoon. We have never had a penny from anyone, not for anything.

I resent the inference that people like us must have had a leg up. We have paid for everything ourselves and we have a mortgage. I our case it was just lucky timing that we graduated in 1996 and immediately bought property. Nothing clever about it, we just had that advantage over people younger than us. I wish everyone had the same advantage. There's no way we could have ever bought the house we currently own had we graduated 10 years later (I'm 41).

The real problem is house prices, or at least, it's one of the main problems. And people planning for their own retirement with their property portfolios, people renting properties to pay for somebody else's retirement.

FWIW I grew up in a single parent family on a pretty rough council estate. Those houses are now largely privately owned. Huge mistake to sell them off. My mother needed that council house, these days we'd be in private rented.

rpitchfo · 09/12/2013 12:25

My worry is pensions going to pot...i pay £230 a month into a pension. Can you imagine if that went belly up.

LaRegina · 09/12/2013 12:26

Agree with Laurie... When the retirement age was set at 65 the average life expectancy was actually below that so the majority of people never even lived long enough to claim it. The idea of actually having 20 or 30 years of 'retirement' was unthinkable.

So it is only the previous generation who have been able to take advantage of life expectancy way surpassing retirement age - and whilst I would love to be able to look forward to having that myself, logically it doesn't makes sense when somebody has to pay for it!

And yes it has been proved time and time again that retirement is not good for you, physically or mentally.

But anyway OP, I do understand where you're coming from. Some would say you're lucky to have a council house. Assuming you have a 'life long' tenancy, you're actually more secure in your home than someone like me with years and years left on a mortgage, making me a few pay cheques away from repossession if I were to lose my job....

Bowlersarm · 09/12/2013 12:28

By having large gaps between your DC you have limited yourself work wise by being out of the job market for at least 11 years. Too late to worry about that now, but maybe start working before dc3 is school age.

Sixtiesqueen · 09/12/2013 12:28

(And I meant to say that people don't plan. Some people never look to the future. My best mate spent most of her twenties in expensive designer shades with new cars and frittering money on high end shoes. She now has four kids, doesn't work and neither she nor her husband has a pension plan. I could never afford the things she could afford because I was paying into my pension. I still drive a battered old car because I know I'm going to get old, I've not got my head in the sand. And I'm buggered if I'm working past 60).

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 09/12/2013 12:28

I get sick of ignorant yet well meaning people giving me their tips and opinions, most of them only have their own homes as a result of inheritance or generous family, and have no concept of independence.

I own my own house neither due to an inheritance or a generous family. so does that mean I can hand out tips and opinions ?

FourAndDone · 09/12/2013 12:30

Rpeg- takes one to know one
If you read the op you would have known op don't struggle day to day they are very comfortable, so yes they can afford 3rd child.
When deciding to have a child not everybody considers their pension.

Katnisscupcake · 09/12/2013 12:32

I know where you're coming from.

I've come back to work from a nice weekend to find that I'm at risk of redundancy.

Our household income will drop by more than half (I'm the higher earner) and DH's money doesn't cover the mortgage and the bills (not including food/clothes etc). We need me to earn £500 a month to break even.

We live in an area of the Country where even if I found another job the same as the one I have, working full-time, I wouldn't even earn HALF what I do now.

Not only that, there is no work here.

So, I'm terrified - along with thousands of others all over the Country I'm sure.

Luckily because of the time I've been with the present company, I will get enough of a package to look after us, if we live frugally, for a few months. But it takes a long time to find a job when there aren't any...

Original poster

applejacket · 09/12/2013 12:34

Well I'm glad I had my children now and delayed going back to work! There worth much more than a comfy retirement

me too fouranddone - tbh i have loved the last 8 years being (mostly) at home with my dcs. they have honestly been the happiest of my life, am sure some people will judge me for this but tax credits have helped enormously. (not that they will be around for ever i'm sure)
i was utterly, utterly miserable working, i hated it (as am sure lots of people are, i am not too "special" to work or anything). so tbh the thought of going back to work is shit. esp if i have got no chance of retiring.

and tbh we desperately wanted one more child, so we made the choice to have another one based on our financial circumstances in the here and now. should only "rich" people have more than 1 - 2 children :o

OP posts:

Grennie · 09/12/2013 12:38

I am in my 40's, we have no children and a mortgage, and I worry about retirement. I have been paying into a public sector pension for years. But it can now not be taken until state pension age - currently 67 for me. I have poor health and I can't see how I will physically manage to work till then.

We have had no financial help at all and will inherit nothing, we both come from poor families. We will have paid off our mortgage, but we won't be able to retire without a pension.

I fully expect to spend my later years on incapacity benefit.

CarolineDeWinter · 09/12/2013 12:39

I think it's personally reasonable to question why the OP has chosen to have a 3rd child if she's so worried about money.

FourAndDone · 09/12/2013 12:39

Apple- that is the way the conversation is going
Whether I had my children or not I was not the sensible sort who would have put £££'s a month in a pension plan. I am looking forward to going back to work when the children are all at school, whatever job that may be!

Bowlersarm · 09/12/2013 12:40

If you hate the idea of working OP, yet worried about having no money in the future, would you DH be able to get a second job?

FourAndDone · 09/12/2013 12:40

Caroline the op isn't worried about money right now.
HTH

tombakerscarf · 09/12/2013 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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