To wonder why parents buy their children so many expensive gadgets

[frogspoon]

I teach in a private senior school and teach so many children who have or are getting iPads, iPhones, PS4, xbox one etc for birthdays, Christmas etc. Most of these children have multiple devices already, including previous versions e.g. PS3. Surely they can't play on them all at once, why do they need so many?

So why do so many parents spend hundred of pounds on gadgets, plus all the extra games etc, which except for the iPad have very limited educational value? I can understand the occasional very expensive present, but I would expect such a high quality expensive piece of technology to last a child for several years, and that if they are old enough to have the technology, they are old enough to look after it, therefore it shouldn't get broken.

One child I teach has two smart phones currently: a blackberry so he can use BBM, and an iPhone for apps. He is getting a new iPhone 5S for Christmas because he cracked the screen on his old iPhone, plus it is getting out of date. They seem to have no concept of how much these things cost, or how to look after them.

I just think it's getting a bit ridiculous.

Not being arsey but do you also judge on non techy items ?
I have a friend whose daughter goes to a well known, very expensive all girls school.
She is treated to any labelled clothing she wants, gigs, theatre trips, foreign holidays, beauty pampering. Given a large allowance.
She is also one of the kindest most polite, sweet young ladies I have known. Spoilt ? Maybe .. Will she become a decent member of society ? I have no doubt.
Her parents love her, she loves them. There is mutual respect. They can afford it, she is grateful ... And it's none of mine or anyone else's business.

Well if I were paying £15k per annum at your school frogspoon, I'm afraid I would expect you to use apostrophes properly. As others have said, it isn't your business and many of the parents will be issued phones, etc., at work and they will pass the old ones to their children because that is what happens.

I think your time would be better spent on lesson planning and marking than judging your charges whose parents happen to pay your wages and probably generally support the education of their children. Now please run along and focus on educating rather cocking a snook at the families who have chosen your school.

Oh reading that back does come across really arsey ! Promise I didn't mean it to be !

I think you're acting rather bitter and coming off as jealous that they have the money to throw around and perhaps you don't.

Who really sits and worries about these things? I don't give a fig what other parents are buying for their children and whether or not it's expensive. It's not my problem.

I budget for my own Christmas expenses and don't worry about what others are spending.

Some people put more money into tech items, others put more money on holidays or clothing or something else. Not sure why you're cataloguing their possessions in this way. Maybe a new hobby is needed?

near, look who is being judgeypants now!

I think your time would be better spent on lesson planning and marking than judging your charges whose parents happen to pay your wages and probably generally support the education of their children.

I think we already established that this particular parent isn't actually very good at paying my wages.

Now I must go, because I do actually have a very large amount of marking to do.

Pupils can concentrate on learning?

Would that be while the teacher is not concentrating on teaching, instead she is sat judging and seething that these spoilt children have far too many gadgets?

I won't deny my children consumer durables because some parents cannot afford
I don't deny myself items because someone else lacks it
Some parents so end beyond their means, I don't

and may also lead to people getting into debt to continue to fund their need for the latest technology.

Or the children denied everything in life up to that point will now take their new found freedom to get into debt...

We have lots of gadgets, I upgrade when and as necessary, not automatically. A lot of what we have was bought second hand. We do have a PS2 and a PS3. The PS2 was gifted to dd1 after we already had the PS3.

I didn't even consider upgrading our Wii to the Wii U as it's hardly played with. I looked at the X-Box One, we use the X-Box a lot, as far as I can see, the main difference is the interface and the graphics. We don't use it to play high spec games, so I won't be upgrading it until the X-Box One becomes available at a reasonable price, second hand.

Dd1 is upgrading her Kindle Fire to a more powerful tablet this year because she wants to do more with than she is able. Her NetBook is becoming dated for her needs, so we will look at upgrading that at some point in the future, most likely for a custom built PC, which she will help build, as laptops wouldn't really be suited to what she wants to do now either.

Dd2 is not as tecchy but has a laptop to play Moshi Monsters on. It was second hand, old and cost around £60. It is suited to what she wants it to do.

Dd1 understands what she is getting, she knows how much they are, she knows what they do and why and how they do it. We've discussed the merits of Apple vs other tablets many times (she still wants Apple though, coz her friend's don't know the difference and think Apple is the best and she wants to be the same as them ) but she does understand that other brands are more powerful and have better specs.

DH was never allowed tech as a child. He ranted for about half an hour last night because I ordered dd1 "a RAM", a 10yo does not need "a RAM" she already has enough gadgets. A 10yo should not even want "a RAM" Dd1 was highly amused Maybe if he'd been allowed more tech, then our PC needing a new graphics card, or dd1's netbook needing a RAM upgrade wouldn't send him into a spiral of panic.

*I think you're acting rather bitter and coming off as jealous that they have the money to throw around and perhaps you don't.

Who really sits and worries about these things? I don't give a fig what other parents are buying for their children and whether or not it's expensive. It's not my problem.

I budget for my own Christmas expenses and don't worry about what others are spending*

^This

Although it was meant to be in bold

frogspoon, do you think your way is the only way? Can you not grasp the idea that different people do things differently?

I have always had my eldest DD and her DPs phone when they come to the end of their contract.

I get a full unlimited SIM deal for about £20 a month. I could get a new phone and unlimited deal for around £30 a month.

Both are cheaper than ever using my Landline.

The deals around can work out the same cost as using your Landline, with a New phone thrown in.

My middle DD went through a Ugg Boot phase, it makes sense to buy teens what they actually would like, if you can afford it.

I don't like the over-consumption in principle, whoever is doing it.

Its very bad for the environment. Computer, electronic goods and mobiles are difficult to dispose of in an environmentally sustainable way. They need rare metals which have to be mined in an environmentally damaging way. I'm not a green activist but it seems wasteful and arrogant to me, just as throwing food away because you've bought too much is wasteful.

I live to my means,not profligate spender,and I don't have to justify to a teacher.nor will i

daft if it means getting into unsustainable debt.

Daft also if they haven't been taught appropriate technology use by their parents. e.g the classroom is NOT the place to text your mates, but noone minds if you do so on the way home. It's like those adults that gossip loudly on their mobiles in restaurants - bloody rude! Fully support the confiscation of stuff if it interrupts learning - make them wait till Friday cob to collect the item too!

Any of those kids getting a Rasberry pi?

DS helped build our old ancient PC (total cost £50) which we used quite happily until his enrolment in an online school required an upgrade to a machine with the last decades technical spec.

He has a DSi as using it helps him stop being overwhelmed at the GP's, on train's, at stations etc and doesn't make him look too "special" iykwim. He also has a wii old style as playing games on the balance board helps his co-ordination issues to a minimal extent on winter days when we can't get out. TV in kids bedrooms is one of the most dumb things a parent can do imho.

He borrows an old nokia mobile payg for emergencies on museum and shopping trips (only mine and my mother's names on the contacts list lol!) just in case he gets lost. In a genuine emergency the last thing I want is for him to be mugged for an igadget!

However for Xmas he's getting a build your own solar robot, and an electronics set. The BIL & I will be going halves on a rasberry pi and python books for his 10th birthday next year. He can hardly be described as a luddite.

I can't say I'm overly worried about my children reaching adulthood and finding to their surprise that they can't maintain their current lifestyle on whatever starting salary they end up on. I'm not worried about them then going into debt to try to maintain a lifestyle. I was brought up in a very privileged family and it was made clear to me from childhood that as soon as I finished uni I was on my own and that if I wanted the holidays, belongings etc that I would need to find my own means of paying for them.

Money was a very open topic in my family. I knew how much my parents earned, how they spent it and how they invested it from a very young age. I'm raising my DC in the same way. Funnily enough DH, who had very little growing up, disagrees with this approach even though he is the one who buys all these gadgets for the children- to me that's how you end up with entitled children who enter the real world without a clue!

If you afford it, why not?

Haaaaaaaaaaaa!!! You've mentioned an independent school on Mumsnet. And you expect an unbiased rational response? Paaaa ha ha ha. Good luck with that :)

because they're fun and it's what the kids want these days and if you have the money then why the hell not?

Haaaaaaaaaaaa!!! You've mentioned an independent school on Mumsnet. And you expect an unbiased rational response? Paaaa ha ha ha. Good luck with that

ah but, sugarhut, if i hadn't mentioned it was an indy I would have been accused of drip feeding for sure!

Or the children denied everything in life up to that point will now take their new found freedom to get into debt...

Fred you have a point, I'm sure that does happen too, to children denied everything. I am certainly not suggesting deny them everything. I am simply suggesting find a good balance that suits your family's income whilst preparing children for a world where nothing will be handed to them on a plate. A 15 year old with 2 smartphones and getting a new one for christmas sounds like a poor balance to me. Equally not allowing a child anything they would like at all is equally unbalanced.

D0ing, you said you have a lot of gadgets, but you also said that at least one (the Wii) is "hardly played with". So what was the point in buying it then? Because your kids wanted it and it would make them happy? If they never play with it, just how exactly is it making them happy?

Taz, I totally agree with your approach of explaining to children where their money comes from, and the value of expensive items. My issue is that many parents shower their kids with expensive gadgets without explaining how much they have cost and how lucky the child is to have them. Those children often don't really appreciate the value of the gadget and either lose, break, or just don't use much because they have too many gadgets to play with.

Because it was used a lot before we got the X-Box. It was the family console, in the family room. The X-Box is mine but I allow the children to play with it sometimes

I wanted the X-Box because it has very different capabilities to the Wii. It is used mainly for streaming and storing media and accessing online content via the big TV. As a family we use it to play Kinnect Adventure and Kinnect Sport. The children like it to play Just Dance with their cousins.

We keep the Wii for Mario Karts, which DH and I play on evening if there's nothing on TV we want to watch, otherwise it gathers dust and annoys me when I have to detangle the sensor which always falls off the TV when the kids are bouncing around on Just Dance, one of these days I will remember to buy that double sided sticky tape I keep meaning to buy.

My kids know the value of money and how hard we work to earn it
They undertake chores for extra pocket money
My Money is earned,I'm not in debt,I don't have credit cards and nae pockets in a shroud

afaik they can't play online with each other unless they have the same system. so xbox 360 and xbox one owners can't play the same game online
3ds doesn't work on dsi
etc

this is not accidental

amyway, why pick on the kids when most adults upgrade their phone every year to two years.