to offer fostering a child from our school whose mum died?

[camaleon]

...the mother of a child who is a peer of one of my children in our local school passed away a couple of weeks ago.
There is no more family living in the UK. Some relatives from overseas are looking after this child at the moment. My own child has never been close to this other child.
I would like to speak to the Headteacher and tell her that she can let Social Services know I am happy to foster the child until the situation is resolved (I would consider adoption too, but I don't think this works this way). The thought of this child getting into some institutional care far away from the local community is heart breaking. The mother was a single mother, clearly in a vulnerable position.
My husband thinks this is a crazy offer; He thinks that if they take it up, it will massively disrupt our lives; that the father can show up in a few years; that she belongs to another community; etc. He would back me up if I think this is the right thing to do, but his opinion is that we should just offer our sympathy and support to the family without interfering further.
So AIBU offering to foster this girl if her family has to go back to their home country and she finds herself alone? Is it even a possibility that this offer is considered or would Social Services just 'centralise' her case and deal with it as if this offer did not exist?
Any advice welcome.

molding

I advise making a Will anyway.

I think you are coming from a very generous pov. I would be careful re your own children.

I only have the experience of picking 2 children at school and bringing them back home a couple if days a week. One of the dcs was in my youngest class. They hadji issue with each other but at the same time didn't really get on.
After only a few weeks, my dcs started to resent the other 2 children. They didn't see it as a regular play date but as an imposition and a disturbance. And these dcs didn't have to stay the night!

I would be even more careful because that child is in your dc class. There will be no getting away from each other. They will see each other at home and in class. Very heavy even when the children DO get along well (which isn't your case).

My gut feeling is that on a short term basis, with a clear timd scale, eg the child would stay for x weeks until x date, it might be manageable. An open ticket where the child and your dcs wouldn't know the end would've more problematic.

The other thing that comes up from your posts is the fact you are already involved with supporting other people. Are you sure you will be able to cope and if it all?

sorry to hijack Birds - but I thought private fostering was when someone other then close family or friends take in a child. If they are taken in by close family then no additional checks necessary but if not close family then all the rules on private fostering kick in"

Your link is now out if date, new laws were introduced in 2012 and will be updated next year.

In a case such as this it isn't Private Fostering, as long term plans are needed and the OP isn't a close relative/friend if the family.

These were bought in to particularly protect children coming from overseas, as many trafficked children were falling through this loop hole.

The LA has a duty if care and must oversee any arrangement not carried out by immediate family and that may continue past 28 days.

This would fall under the private fostercare arrangements if you and the child's relatives sorted this out between yourselves (without any involvement from SS)"

It wouldn't as the only person who held PR has died and the child will not yet have an appointed legal guardian, so SS have to become involved, otherwise no one can legally make decisions that come under PR for this child, which would then make her vulnerable.

OP, SS have Foster Carers in every area.

When this sort if thing happens, the child is placed with a Foster Carer (in a family home) that will allow the child to attend the same school.

You have said that you have lots of responsibilities.

They would have to stop, you would have a grieving child to deal with and jealousy from your own child.

You wouldn't be considered, but it is good of you to think of this little girl.

The best thing for this child is to get her into a long term stable home, you don't know if you can provide that.

Your DH would have to be on board with this, so would any close relatives.

Mouldings, family members, or close family friends are always looked at to care for a child, at around 7, the child starts to have a say, which is on a scale as they grow, so at 12, they get to choose.

Sorry I shouldn't have said "friends" that has never been the case that freinds can private;y foster without LA involvement.

I'm a bit confused.

From the BAAF link (and my understanding pre 2012) - close family can foster without LA involvement, anyone else falls into the private fostering category and must inform LA within 28 days and be overseen by LA.

How has this changed? There has been oversight for as long as the private fostering arrangement exists since the rules changed after Victoria CLimbie.

I'm not clear what is different now (as opposed to what new rules are proposed) - its useful for me to know as childrne adopted overseas prior to a UK court order is issued are treated as privately fostered (bizarrely) and I do advise people in this situation. Slightly worrying that BAAF is not up to date!

To put it simply, the person who holds PR, under the 1989 Children Act has got to give their permission for the child to reside with another person for upto 28 days, for it to be private fostering.

The person who held PR has died, she didn't know the OP other than being another parent at the child's school, she has never stated that she wants the OP to ever care for her child.

Relatives, as set out under the Children Act are caring for the child, if that ends then it cannot pass to anyone else, as the LA has a duty of care and must step in.

It is unkown if the child's Father is registered as such, he won't have PR, unless he is a UK citizen, as yet (as far as it can be worked out from what the OP knows), he is an unknown person.

This is simple for SS to work out, but complex for an individual.

In this case, it is known that the Care will exceed 28 days, so even if the OP was a close family friend SS would be getting involved.

The school would be duty bound to issue a second Lwcel CAF, at least.

To take this child in the OP would have to inform the LA of her intent. Which would then spark a Fostering Assessment.

Unless the parent of a child hands you care of their child whilst they travel for up to a month etc, you have no basis to have the child in your home, unless the child is over 14.

Kew, I meant that your first link was outbid date and the information in the second one, doesn't cover the situation where the person who holds PR has died and the rest if the family are overseas.

The link gives an overview, but doesn't cover this situation.

This is very useful. Thanks birdsgottafly.

She has a family who are caring for her!

Quite Mimishimi.

Thanks for asking. I have just offered my support making clear I have the means to help quite a lot if it is helpful. I have highlighted that she can name me if she or any involved party thinks the girl could benefit from my logistic or emotional support including the availability of my house or whatever.

I have also passed a note to relatives with professional (my work may be helpful ib a way) and professional contact details.

I will wait now and try to be alert if I feel I can help. Husband happy with all this. He wrote note himself. We had a very close death recently and we have some responsibility over kids affected ( although one parent is alive in this case). I think he felt overwhelmed by my suggestion at a time we are stil mourning and taking over extra emotional and practical duties. But he is on board to help in the unlikely scenario that we csn be of any use.

Difficult one.

What I do know is that I have a friend who's mother had severe mental health problems. His father was an utterly useless bastard who didn't give a shit wasn't about. He was in and out of various care homes. When he was 13 his friend's mum asked the home to let him come and stay with them for a while.

He finally left when he was 22 and still calls them mum and dad and refers to their children as his siblings :) It can work.

Think hard though. Be sure what you're getting into. However if your DH is unsure about it then I would exercise extreme caution - just because it can work does not mean it will work.

Its lovely of you to want to do it but it has to come from your whole family not just you