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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Oh my goodness. Aibu to wonder what the hell you all do in there when out and about...

77 replies

CaptainTripps · 07/12/2013 16:17

...the loo that is.

What on earth takes you so long? I go in, door gets locked, quick dab around the toilet seat with toilet paper, jeans down, quick wizz, jeans up, quick dab of anti bacterial. And I am outta there.

Even factoring in number twos and TOM, what the bloody hell takes so long? Gahhh.

OP posts:

shouldnthavesaid · 08/12/2013 01:11

Period issues. I am a nightmare at heaviest as I have to wee etc, then wash, change pad, change underwear, try and sort everything out, take medications, clean loo and try to wash hands so
Im not wandering out looking like I've murdered someone..

moldingsunbeams · 08/12/2013 01:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shouldnthavesaid · 08/12/2013 01:19

I did do that routine in the theatre once actually, in interval for panto. Had no choice as I was a-flooding, not fun.

HicDraconis · 08/12/2013 05:13

4 layers. And this isn't the arctic, it's NZ in summertime :)

Knickers, tights, M&S magic knickers over tights holding everything up, leggings over tights. I normally have a longish tunic top over that lot but occasionally I wear jeans if it's windy.

So sometimes 4 layers plus jeans, sometimes just the 4 layers.

Today I was daring. Knickers and cropped trousers. Was liberating in the lavatorial freedom of time sense, but a bit chilly at the top of the legs!

DoubleLifeIsALifeOfSorts · 08/12/2013 05:29

To quote GarlicBaubles

"I take longer sometimes due to health issues that are none of your business, whingers!"

Sparklingbrook · 08/12/2013 08:19

Going to a public loo that has a queue when you have your period is horrible.
Especially when it's heavy, and you have to use lots of loo roll and the loo isn't good at flushing. then you get some blood on the loo and have to start a clean up operation.

MrsBobHale · 08/12/2013 08:33

So not one person on this thread has confessed to sitting down, getting phone out and catching up on mumsnet for five minutes? Even if out at some lovely family activity and you've left the kids with Dh?

Note: i never do this if there's a queue.

fuckwittery · 08/12/2013 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pianodoodle · 08/12/2013 08:42

Note: i never do this if there's a queue.

Actually I was going to admit that it might be me playing Candy Crush Saga on my phone if I've left DH halfway through the weekly shop with DD... I can tell further in advance than he can if a tantrum is brewing

MrsSchadenfreude · 08/12/2013 08:58

Four layers of underwear? Are you my mother? She has knickers, "pantie girdle", tights, full length petticoat. Actually, even that is only three layers!

Mia4 · 08/12/2013 10:09

Gruntfuttock, I get bad sore rash from the cold in winter, tights help.

Mrs Bob Hale, I have to admit that I don't. I try to get out of there quickly, most public loos (aside from shopping center ones) around here are grim.

MelanieRavenswood · 08/12/2013 10:27

I was about to come on and get all sarcastic, saying that they all do it just to annoy you because obviously everyone just wants so spend as long as possible in an uncomfortable smelly public toilet...then I read mrsBobhale's and pianodoodle's comments. Really? Why would you do that?!

Actually have just remembered being kept waiting for an aeroplane loo by someone clearly doing full make-up etc in there.

Better for my blood pressure just to assume someone has real need of the actual facilities - I have been that person, sometimes with IBS, sometimes morning sickness.

vvviola · 08/12/2013 10:28

HicDraconis - how on earth do you survive an NZ summer with that many layers?? I nearly pass out in one layer of underwear and a cotton dress pesky Irish blood making be better suited for the cold

Last summer I even contemplated appear in public in swimwear (which, trust me, at my size combined with my pasty Irish skin and the effects of two big babies, would not be a pretty sight!)

Incidentally (and I can't believe I'm discussing this on a public forum) I'm a speed pee-er, but I put it down to working a job where being away from your station for more than 2 minutes could cause a major issue. Had to learn speed

Bunbaker · 08/12/2013 15:22

"Knickers, tights, M&S magic knickers over tights holding everything up, leggings over tights."

In summer! Why?

HomeIsWhereTheGinIs · 08/12/2013 16:52

Why has Nobody asked Euphemia what she means by complicated underwear? Euphemia - what are you imagining?

thenightsky · 08/12/2013 17:36

I just assume the ones that take ages are snorting coke in there, or something.

JohnnyBarthes · 08/12/2013 17:39

I'm MNing.

Sorry.

JohnnyBarthes · 08/12/2013 17:40

Oh and what thenight said when I could get away with that kind of thing

MrsSchadenfreude · 08/12/2013 17:49

Complicated underwear may be Mormon garments, where everything needs to be next to your skin, so if your capacious vest comes untucked from your knee length bloomers, and you give it a good tug to get it back in place, you may dislodge your bra, which is nattily worn on top of the vest and need to take everything off and start again.

PiratePanda · 08/12/2013 17:51

Nenny, anything you touch in a public loo that has been touched by anyone elses hands - soap dispenser, taps (very few are able to be turned off easily), light switches, everything - is crawling with germs (though weirdly NOT the toilet seat). Did you know you have to scrub your hands with soap for a minimum of 20 seconds to make them clean? And then you go and turn off the tap....It's the other people's hygeine practices you have to worry about. Shitty hand on the tap: nice

I'm not very squeamish about germs but I know just how germ-ridden public bathrooms are.

flyingspaghettimonster · 08/12/2013 17:52

If you are ever in the public toilets next to someone not making any noise and taking ages, they might be like me. I get cystitis almost every time I go shopping... I tend not to drink enough and then don't need to pee as often... Then suddenly it hits me and I feel a bit feverish and like I really need to pee... But almost nothing comes out. I can't leave for about 20 minutes as it hurts if I stop trying to pee too soon. It is unpleasant enough feeling like that without knowing everyone is irritated waiting :(

BlackholesAndRevelations · 08/12/2013 18:08

Flying... Would it help if you drank more when shopping?! Sorry if that sounds rude but if it's happened before surely it's best avoided.....

Pinholes · 08/12/2013 18:32

The hand dryers are unhygienic because a lot of people don't properly dry their hands on them, they then walk away with clammy hands that are still riddled with bacteria although the airblade/rapid dryers are better for this than the old, slower dryers and the warmth provided can cause bacteria to multiply. Plus they blow around contaminated air (containing faeces particles, not to mention bacteria from poorly washed hands).

A lot of it is down to people not washing their hands properly - how many people do a quick rinse under the tap, dab of soap, another quick rinse?

The best thing is to thoroughly wash hands (remembering wrists, pads of fingers and in-between fingers) and dry thoroughly with paper towels.

I work in the NHS and we don't have electric hand dryers within the trust for hygiene reasons - makes me not want to use them when out and about!

TeamSouthfields · 08/12/2013 19:57

I normally log on to Facebook to be honest -

Andcake · 08/12/2013 20:05

God I've wondered this too...v annoying when there is a long queue and you are desperate. To be fair I just assume when people take ages they are doing a poo.

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