Oh my goodness. Aibu to wonder what the hell you all do in there when out and about...

[CaptainTripps]

...the loo that is.

What on earth takes you so long? I go in, door gets locked, quick dab around the toilet seat with toilet paper, jeans down, quick wizz, jeans up, quick dab of anti bacterial. And I am outta there.

Even factoring in number twos and TOM, what the bloody hell takes so long? Gahhh.

well...for a start i have to hang up my bag and take off my coat...i cannot pee in a coat.

and then obv it all has to go back on again.

Lol,well I can tell you I wear tights under my jeans so takes me a small bit of time longer. Also have IBS so have to sit for a minute and wait to see if I have wind or something annoying. And I stopped using my mooncup when out because that things so bloody annoying if you need to take a shit when using :(

Takes a few secs longer if I need to wash my hands inside the cubical because the sinks in there.

And I know my friend could have annoyed people in Westfields loo if they'd not had a fair few of them, she had bad morning sickness and was waiting for the vomit to abate for ages.

I hate using public loos so try to be as fast as possible, aren't most people the same?

As Catsmamma says, put bag/hat/gloves/brolly somewhere, then take coat off (if it's long), clean loo seat, pull jeans down, pull pants down, sit down, calm down to allow 'business' to commence. Do your business, wipe thoroughly, pull pants up, pull jeans up, pull top down, flush, put coat/hat/gloves on, pick up bag, brolly, shopping etc. I'm always amazed at the number of people who simply waltz out of the loo without washing and drying their hands

Public loos are awful. You get more privacy in changing rooms! Who designs them? Men I'm guessing and I bet it all focuses on ease of cleaning and health and safety. There's nothing worse than hearing strangers straining and evacuating within inches of you. Urgh!

"I wear tights under my jeans so takes me a small bit of time longer."

Why? What is wrong with socks? I would find tights under jeans very uncomfortable.

Wow, I didn't realise some people needed to take their coats off, are these just when wearing a long coat or all coats?

I also had no idea people take coats off in the public loo.

I have a long coat that gets in the way so if there is a hook I always take it off.

Get pre schooler in a suitable position so that door can be shut.

Debate with pre schooler whether she needs a wee. (She does - she keeps hopping up and down.)

Say "fine - mummy go" amnd sit on loo and start weeing.

Listen to pre schooler say "no mummy - I need to go I'm desperate it's going in my pants,"

Impress myself (considering I also have a baby) with ability to stop weeing mid stream, stand up, get pre schooler on loo.

(With trousers still around ankles) listen to pre schooler having a long discussion with me about various philosophical issues while saying "come on dd - have a wee"

Encourage pre schooler to wipe bottom. Try to discourage pre schooler from using entire roll of toilet roll.

Finally finish my wee while pre schooler peers between my legs and asks (yet again!) why I have hair there.

Flush toilet and exit red faced to a load of grinning women!

Bunbaker I wear socks too. Soon as the weather turns cold I start getting a painful rash-bit like sunburn- on my upper thighs so either I wear tights or thin thermals under jeans and tights under fleecey legging too.

Yes I agree...other women take so long...really annoying.

@ Mumoftwo. I must often have been in the next cubicle to you!

I take longer sometimes due to health issues that are none of your business, whingers! If you're in that much of a hurry, plan your wees better.

mumoftwo you've just described my life!

I'm wearing lots of layers at the moment too, they take a bit of time to straighten!

mumoftwo, yes, that sounds very familiar, apart from the inevitable discussion with DS2 about exactly when his imminent poo will arrive.

I absolutely cannot use public toilets - ever

Thanks for starting this thread. I fail to understand what takes women so long to go to the toilet in a public loo. There doesn't have to be queues for the loo at public exhibitions, music concerts etc.

By the time I need the toilet, I really need to go. So, what's the hold up behind those stall doors ?

Pants down, do what you went in there to do, do what you have to do, pants up, get decent for the outside world, get out of cubicle.

I wonder if some women are writing a thesis or knitting a particularly complicated jumper in their cubicle.

Well everyone can't have health issues! Obviously it is reasonable to take longer in that situation. I know when I go to the loo with friends they almost always take way longer than me and I can't figure out what they are doing.

The queues tend to be longer for the ladies toilets as we are generally the ones that have to take the kids too

time of the month takes longer, too.

In some US states (I think Oregon and Washington state) they have passed "potty parity" laws requiring as many or more toilets for women as for men (bearing in mind lots of male "restrooms" have urinals but no female equivalents). I think we should start a lobby for twice as many ladies' toilets as men's in all cinemas, theatres etc.
Then we can lobby for toilets that will actually take a tampon, if not a pad. I mean half the population etc etc... they've had half a century to adapt the plumbing no?

I've never understood what other women do in there all day.

My new theory is that they never get time for a man poo at home because they're too busy, so take advantage when out, you know, to get a bit of me time.

I don't wash my hands in public loos; the wash basins and door latches are revoltingly germy. Rather, I don't touch anything with my bare fingers (use loo paper, corner of coat, elbows, backs of hands) and then use a good dollop of alcohol hand gel.

It's not (necessarily) minging not to wash your hands in a filthy public loo - it's smart.

(Oh - and I'm one of the quick impatient loo-users too.)

It takes longer with kids, but if I'm on my own I take about 3 mins, inc washing my hands.