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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How cruel would this be?

45 replies

Minor · 06/12/2013 17:45

DS1 has managed to come home from school with only one trainer after PE (yr8). He says he's been back to look everywhere it could be but it's disappeared without trace.

As it happens (this month anyway) he and I are the same size and as I am something of an exercise addict I have lots of trainers/running shoes.

He needs predominantly white for school.

WIBU to make him wear lend him a pair of my running shoes? They are definitely made for women and are white with a pale turquoise flash on the side (I've ruled out the pink ones!)

The style itself is actually exactly the same as the ones he's lost, only the "men's" flash is a darker blue.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 06/12/2013 17:49

Seems like a sensible solution. No one will care. When DS was the same size as me he liked wearing my purple glittery converses Grin

Turvytopsy · 06/12/2013 17:49

Marker pen?

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 06/12/2013 17:51

Why cruel? I lend DS 13 yr my trainers all the time. It's v annoying.

Original poster
Minor · 06/12/2013 17:51

I did think about that Turvy but the flash is made from shiny plastic stuff and pen would wipe off.

OP posts:
ghostonthecanvas · 06/12/2013 17:52

Definitely marker pen. Sorted.

Original poster
Minor · 06/12/2013 17:52

Cruel to send him to school in women's shoes?

They're not exactly pink and sparkly but I think it's fairly obvious they're a women's style.

OP posts:
YoureBeingASillyBilly · 06/12/2013 17:53

Black permanent marker?

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 06/12/2013 17:54

Maybe make him wear the pink ones til he foubd his old one - itll turn up.quick sharp ish!

MacaYoniandCheese · 06/12/2013 17:54

Just do it Grin.

He probably won't even notice unless you draw attention to the fact they were yours. Just say "I found this old pair of trainers in the cupboard, will they do until I can get you a new pair/you find the lost one".

lackingimagination · 06/12/2013 17:55

Definitely cruel - he would be very embarrassed and I'm sure other kids would pick him up on it and tease him which wouldn't be fair. Although I can completely see why you want to do it as he shouldn't have lost a shoe!!
Permanent marker would cover up the pink flash - I think that's a good compromise.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 06/12/2013 18:18

It's only PE. DS doesn't give a toss.

bundaberg · 06/12/2013 18:21

why is it cruel? the blue is paler. so what??? no-one will know!

since when is turquoise a girl colour? Confused

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 06/12/2013 18:22

I'm not sure. Kids can pick up on anything and the slightest little thing can lead to name calling.

FortyMerryFuckers · 06/12/2013 18:26

I wouldn't unless he was happy to wear them.

CoshNCuddle · 06/12/2013 18:39

Ummm - isn't turquoise a shade of blue/green? Its not girly by far!

OvaryAction · 06/12/2013 19:39

Why would it be cruel? Because you think wearing something that could be thought of as 'girly' is something to be ashamed or embarrassed of?

There's nothing shameful about being a girl, so there's nothing wrong with wearing 'girly' things.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 06/12/2013 19:40

It's silly, but the trainers that are 'for girls' usually have turquoise and pink colours whereas boys have blacks and darker blues.

They'd be seen as 'girl trainers' when I was at school which wasnt that long ago Wink

OvaryAction · 06/12/2013 19:42

It is silly. It's like in the cement garden when the older brother is disgusted that his younger brother likes wearing girls' clothes:

"Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short and wear shirts and boots because it's okay to be a boy; for girls it's like promotion. But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, according to you, because secretly you believe that being a girl is degrading."

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 06/12/2013 19:42

Ovary let's not make it into a feminist argument. At that age it makes all the difference. If he wants to wear something that would be seen as girly, good on him. But being made to wear something and be potentially subjected to ridicule wouldn't be nice would it?

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 06/12/2013 19:44

I'm not saying that it's right by the way, and I do agree with you

OvaryAction · 06/12/2013 19:52

But it is a feminist argument Confused. The OP's son hasn't actually had any opinion on the trainers, yet before she's even suggested he'd wear them she's actually worried it would be cruel to lend him some shoes on the off chance that others may notice that a small part of them is turquoise instead of dark blue.

Surely it's better to teach him that there's no such thing as girly trainers and boyish trainers and that girls aren't less worthy or respectable than boys than to worry about ridiculous things like the colour of a stripe on a pair of trainers.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 06/12/2013 20:00

You can teach him that, but it doesn't make a blind bit of difference when he gets to school does it. Kids pick on anything that is 'different'. I speak from experience! I'm not thinking of this as a feminist issue, I'm thinking of it from the opinion of an 8 year old boy having to wear something that his peers would consider 'girlie'.

Like I said, if he doesn't mind, good on him. If he has the strength of character to defy the gender stereotypes he's been born into because of our society, fine. But he might not. (sorry this sounds rather extreme over a pair of trainers but I'm sure you get what I mean)

Mishmashofstyles · 06/12/2013 20:03

He might catch the gay you know.

CoolaSchmoola · 06/12/2013 20:09

Sharpies were invented for such issues.

OvaryAction · 06/12/2013 20:10

If anyone actually studies his trainers in enough detail to notice the colour of the stripe then all he has to do is roll his eyes and laugh at how pathetic they are for caring that much about something so minor. He's in yr 8 btw not 8yrs old