Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect family members to take the time to write my childrens names in a Christmas card.

86 replies

AlwaysWashing · 06/12/2013 12:39

We have received two cards this morning from close family members. One was to "Always Washing, Mr Always Washing. & the boys" the other to "Always Washing, Mr Always Washing & family". They were not from elderly, potentially forgetful people or from rels that don't see my children?
My children have names AIBU to expect them to be used?

OP posts:
Grennie · 06/12/2013 15:05

I do this if I can't remember how to spell the children's names, or can't even remember them at all!

Financeprincess · 06/12/2013 15:05

OP, you are funny! I like the bit about falling out with yourself.

As for the matter at hand: I only put 'and family' if I can't remember the names. If I can remember, I go wild and write them out. I don't grudge the biro ink. When I was a kid I didn't really care about being relegated to 'and girls', though.

Annunziata · 06/12/2013 15:08

YABU, sorry.

We get a card every year from someone addressed to the wrong children, it just makes me laugh Xmas Grin

Bunbaker · 06/12/2013 15:32

I do write them if there are only two and I know them. I don't if a) I can't remember their names b) I don't know if the children are still living at home with them (I'm talking about older children here obviously) and c) if they have loads of children.

I have several friends with four children and none of them mind me putting "and family". I did ask them and they just laughed, so obviously they don't take it personally or as a criticism of their fecundity Smile

Mumsyblouse · 06/12/2013 15:38

Despite being close friends with lots of people and calling them for chats regularly, I often don't know my friends' children's names in full or the correct spelling. Unless they write to you with the full name, how would you know? Some of them use one surname, another, changed since a baby, and the spelling of lots of names differs quite dramatically. It just doesn't come up in conversation. Hence quite a few people don't spell my children's names or their surname correctly- who cares, not me!

drudgetrudy · 06/12/2013 18:40

Silly thing to make a fuss about. YABvU.

FizzyPink · 06/12/2013 22:51

Yanbu, this used to happen to me all the time growing up, especially when people would bother writing their own children's names but not ours. As a child I hated those people!!

oldspeckledtam · 06/12/2013 23:26

AlwaysWashing I'm with you. We can be unreasonable together. I've actually ranted on this exact issue to my DB tonight. (Though the family that sparked my rant haven't sent him a card at all....)

Family should take the effort to address each other properly. Friends too. I have 2 children and I'm not precious about their names. You can add both in 6 characters, including &. I have friends with up 5 children and I write all their names inside. If they're my friends, why wouldn't I? I totally understand that the kids don't care. But I care.

Colleagues and acquaintances, they can use 'and family' and I'll be thankful for the card and think kind thoughts.

CointreauVersial · 06/12/2013 23:34

My mate has 6 DCs and a DSS, and has invented an acronym name from the 9 initial letters of the whole family. She just signs her cards with this name.

I've long since given up listing the whole bunch.

I sometimes write "and family" for friends of DH's we don't see much especially when I can't remember exactly the name of the latest addition to the family

BillyBanter · 06/12/2013 23:48

Writing out 30 cards and envelopes is an effort.

I can't imagine being even a tiny bit bothered.

notso · 07/12/2013 00:00

I can't see the point of writing,
To AlwaysWahing, Mr AlwaysWashing, SmallAlwaysWashing1, SmallAlwaysWashing2 in the card. I write it on the envelope but not inside. If I give you a card I assume you know it is for you.

I really can't see the point of cards that say to My Husband/Daughter/Mother/Cat/second cousin twice removed on them. I refuse to give them and I am looked down on for this with all my in-laws. The beautiful cards I give which don't state the precise nature of our relationship ate relegated to the shelf rather than pride of place on the telly Xmas Grin Xmas Hmm

runningonwillpower · 07/12/2013 00:16

Christmas cards are just one of the many hurdles to jump before you can actually enjoy the day.

I'm not full of love and Christmas goodwill whilst I'm writing them. I'm full of ever-increasing resentment (and wine).

If abbreviating a list of names to 'family', 'et al' or whatever, cuts down on the time I have to spend on this annual chore conveyance of love and goodwill, then I'll employ that device.

Why do we get bogged down with this sort of stuff?

sykadelic15 · 07/12/2013 00:35

YANBU - It's not unreasonable to expect close family to remember (and go to the effort of) putting the kids names. I find kids like getting mail so they'd love to see it.

SantaIKnowHimIKnowHim · 07/12/2013 00:39

Got a couple of cards today, addressed to Mr and Mrs Santa and family. Didn't even cross my mind to be offended that they didn't include the name of our DC's!
Seriously, not worth getting worked up about,
Now if they'd put our names only and denied all knowledge of kids, THEN I will probably moan.
If the card is to everyone though, then what's the problem?!

CloverkissSparklecheeks · 07/12/2013 08:20

I must say this is something that niggles at me, I don't bother with cards for random people so would always make the effort to write in names. We have 2 dcs with easy names to write and our 1st 2 cards this year from clise family friends said 'and family' these are people who were at the hospital the day the DCs were born. It comes across as lazy and that they don't care but I don't really think that's the case, I have no idea why.

I have no problem with the dcs being referred to as the boys or the kids but in cards it seems odd.

CloverkissSparklecheeks · 07/12/2013 08:26

Btw I am not actually offended - I just don't get why you would bother to go to the effort to write the card but not write in the names.

Annun I can top that - my DHs Auntie wrote to DH, DHs XP the first year we were together ( I can accept that) we sent a card back with my name on, the following year we had DS and she still put his XPs name on in the new baby card and the next xmas card. She did know my name but for some reason couldn't write it Grin it does begin with the same letter!

CloverkissSparklecheeks · 07/12/2013 08:26

Btw I am not actually offended - I just don't get why you would bother to go to the effort to write the card but not write in the names.

Annun I can top that - my DHs Auntie wrote to DH, DHs XP the first year we were together ( I can accept that) we sent a card back with my name on, the following year we had DS and she still put his XPs name on in the new baby card and the next xmas card. She did know my name but for some reason couldn't write it Grin it does begin with the same letter!

notso · 07/12/2013 08:43

I don't understand why you need to see the names in the card.
If someone doesn't put your DC names do you assume the seasons greetings are not extended to your DC?
When I read a card I pay attention to who it's from the fact I am opening it tells me it's for me, the occasion and sender whittles down if it's just for me or to all of us.

I never write any names just Have a Lovely Christmas From Notso, Mr Notso and The 4 notso juniors XX
I have obviously been offending people for years.

BlueberryWoods · 07/12/2013 08:54

Doesn't bother me but I generally find young children love to see their own name in print.

ivykaty44 · 07/12/2013 08:58

I am just about to sit down and write about 50 Christmas cards, do I really have to write everyones names?

I even put from ivykaty and girls on some cards - towards the end.

I have though got 50 stickers with everyones address on, I did them last year for the next three years Smile so that saves writing the address.

i need some good christmas music and is it to early for a drink Wink

Bunbaker · 07/12/2013 10:20

"Btw I am not actually offended - I just don't get why you would bother to go to the effort to write the card but not write in the names."

Because some of us have over 60 cards to write (my family are very scattered and I don't see much of them) and after the first 20 I get writer's cramp, and when faced with a family of 6 it gets a bit monotonous and tiring. I also have over 30 addresses to write on envelopes.

Animation · 07/12/2013 10:22

Quite right OP!

Have always thought .. 'and family' or 'the boys' is a bit of a cop out, and have actually done that myself ..but not proud. Xmas Blush

Bunbaker · 07/12/2013 10:22

I thought of doing the address labels as well, but with the cost of postage I will cut down my list a lot next year. The woman at the post office says she hasn't sold as many stamps as usual.

valiumredhead · 07/12/2013 10:26

OP you sound like the sort of person who if they won a million pounds cash they'd complain it wasn't a cheque!

AlpacaPicnic · 07/12/2013 10:28

I get 'to alpaca and the boys!' a lot... It includes dh, our close friend who lives with us, any visiting waifs and strays we have collected this year and the two male cats...

I like it, it includes everyone and offends nobody :-D

Swipe left for the next trending thread