Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep DS off from Christmas church assembly?

77 replies

stickysausages · 05/12/2013 21:47

Last day of school, church assembly...

We're atheists... is it wrong to keep him off?

All opinions, both sides welcome..

OP posts:
Cooroo · 05/12/2013 21:50

I'm an atheist but didn't keep DD away from religion. Just told her some people believe in this stuff, I don't. She's an atheist at 17 so I don't think it rubbed off!

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 05/12/2013 21:50

What does he want to do?

soverylucky · 05/12/2013 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thenamestheyareachanging · 05/12/2013 21:52

Is it a Church school? I think you have the right to withdraw your ds without keeping him off school.

We are a Christian family, but I wouldn't withdraw my children if it was another religion's celebration. Even though it isn't our belief, I'd love them to learn about other faiths and most importantly understand the need to respect other people's beliefs, and that just because we aren't of that religion it doesn't mean there is nothing to learn. I'd like to raise them with open minds.

sonu678 · 05/12/2013 21:53

one of the wisest thing dh ever said 'singing hymns never hurt anyone'
We are muslims

penguin73 · 05/12/2013 21:53

Why keep him off? If you are set on him not being part of it then fair enough, just explain to the school and ask them to let him sit it out. It's reasonable that you want them to respect your beliefs but not a good reason to miss a whole day.

Howstricks · 05/12/2013 21:53

Last day of school Christmas term is usually great fun. Surely the church visit can be seen as interesting poss educational. My daughter attended all different places of worship and ceremonies as part of religious studies and didn't magically convert to any religion. It really shouldn't be a problem.

gobbin · 05/12/2013 21:54

You have the right to withdraw him from assembly. You don't have the right to keep him off school for it.

Annunziata · 05/12/2013 21:56

What harm will it do him? It'll be an hour tops and he'll also miss the rest of the day.

You can't keep him off for every church service he might encounter for the next 10 or so years.

BunnyLebowski · 05/12/2013 21:58

We're hardcore atheists. DD is playing Angel Gabriel and singing Away in a Manger solo in her nativity.

She has also celebrated Diwali and Eid at school this year. It's not a faith school so it never veers into the indoctrination that I grew up with (RC in Ireland).

I just can't bring myself to be 'that' parent and to have DD excluded from anything. I want her to have all the experiences she can. She's smart enough to take all the info and decide for herself when she gets older.

Sallyingforth · 05/12/2013 22:00

Bunny
What a wise parent you are!

clarinsgirl · 05/12/2013 22:01

YABU. Your DS should be able to make his own informed choice about faith. To do this he needs information (i.e. Experience of religion).

BTW I'm also an atheist and completely against faith schools (but that's another debate!)

pootlebug · 05/12/2013 22:03

I want to raise children with an open mind about religion.....so they get to see that some people believe X, some people believe Y, some people believe Z etc. Keeping them away doesn't achieve that, for me.

BunnyLebowski · 05/12/2013 22:04

Aw thank you Sallying Smile .

ExitPursuedByAChristmasGrinch · 05/12/2013 22:08

What do you think might happen if they do attend OP?

ilovesmurfs · 05/12/2013 22:09

What bunny said.

WoTmania · 05/12/2013 22:13

What Bunny said. Yabu - it won't do him any harm to experience or learn about a variety of religions and their festivals

Jinsei · 05/12/2013 22:13

I am not religious but I would never keep dd off for something like this. DD is already exposed to my views and values at home, so why should she not be exposed to other views and values at school? I am deeply suspicious of religious families who try to prevent their children from being exposed to different faiths, and the same goes for atheists. If we're confident that our own beliefs stand up to scrutiny, then there can be no threat from beliefs that are different.

If we want our dc to grow up with genuinely open minds, then I think we have to be open to stuff like this ourselves.

Pancakeflipper · 05/12/2013 22:14

Cannot they go and then use this to help form their own opinion on Christianity/church/faith so they understand what you don't believe in?

My DS1 has had an amazing week about being a Muslim. He currently doesn't want to become Muslim but he's learnt lots and very much enjoyed it (and understands the home life of his close friend a lot more).

harticus · 05/12/2013 22:16

What does your son want to do?

ravenAK · 05/12/2013 22:20

Well, they're supposed to have an act of religious observance in assembly on a regular basis, if not daily.

I wouldn't single out the Xmas shenanigans - it goes on all year!

Anyway, a specifically Xmas assembly is part of our 'cultural heritage & all that', so less objectionable than the day-to-day insidious god-bothering IMO.

TheArticFunky · 05/12/2013 22:22

You are the parent you do what you think best. I hardly think that a few hymns and the crib procession is going to harm him. Do you?

How would you feel if your child decides he wants to become a Christian? By eliminating all exposure to religion you are stopping him from being in a position where he can make his own mind up i.e you are forcing your own views on him.

Original poster
stickysausages · 05/12/2013 22:26

He's playing a donkey in the nativity as it is Grin

So we're not total control freaks....

I just remember being preached at during church assembly & am not sure I want to carry on that tradition.... He's in primary one

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 05/12/2013 22:26

YABU

Original poster
stickysausages · 05/12/2013 22:28

I was exposed to Sunday school, I even studied RE at higher level, I'm all for knowledge, but just can't be arsed with religious assemblies tbh!

OP posts: