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AIBU?

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Original poster

To keep DS off from Christmas church assembly?

77 replies

stickysausages · 05/12/2013 21:47

Last day of school, church assembly...

We're atheists... is it wrong to keep him off?

All opinions, both sides welcome..

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 05/12/2013 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheArticFunky · 05/12/2013 22:35

Ds is veering between being an Agnostic and Atheist. He has to attend church services because of Cubs and he just zones out most of the time as he finds it quite boring .

I also zone out most of the time even though I do hold religious views. It doesn't hurt to be bored some times .

emmaliz · 05/12/2013 22:36

I've been to several church assemblies at my d's school and it's been a few Christmas carols, a little bit about jesus from the vicar and a performance of some kind from some of the pupils. obviously your school may be different?

FalalalalalalaFiggy · 05/12/2013 22:39

What do you think will happen if he goes? I'm atheist too but I want my child to hear other views so wouldn't be "that" parent.

Can we assume you not celebrating Xmas either?

raisah · 05/12/2013 22:40

Even if you are not believers, your dc are growing up in a culture which uses the church to mark many life events and they need to know how to behave appropriately in one. I have seen church wedding guests practically naked (if you want to call the tiny plaster strip of fabric a dress).

My parents never kept me away from church service and I have grown up to respect another faith even though I don't follow it myself. I am a Muslim and very much a practicing one but I also have a Catholic SIL & a Buddist SIL.

LindyHemming · 05/12/2013 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SantaIKnowHimIKnowHim · 05/12/2013 22:42

So what if you're an atheist, OP? You're entitled to your beliefs. Just because you believe one thing though, does that mean you are against your child getting a varied education?
Just see it as extra knowledge for them. Doesn't mean they have to sign up to it wholeheartedly and embrace religion! Hmm

Snowbility · 05/12/2013 22:42

If you're keen to have your dc follow in your beliefs allow them to attend religious activities - it's deadly dull, even the fun stuff is bloody awful, I suffered it for years....they might convince them in Reception and Year One but by Year two my kids were firmly in the not going to church, I'm an atheist camp - thank god! Wink

NoComet · 05/12/2013 22:44

Primary Christmas assemblies are, usually, quite fun.

Secondary ones were very dull, I have been known to exercise my atheist side and not go to those, but I was 14-15 not 7

WooWooOwl · 05/12/2013 22:44

From what you've said, you might feel better if you just let him know how church works, and that things will be said as fact in there that he doesn't have to believe. Let him know that he doesn't have to take part in prayers, nor should he feel he has to say 'Amen', as long as he's quiet and well behaved when other people are.

Being exposed to church isn't going to indoctrinate him, it doesn't even begin to have the strength to override what you tell your child.

It would be a shame for him to miss out on all the excitement of the last day of term just for the sake of a Christmas assembly.

raisah · 05/12/2013 22:46

Posted too soon. Wedding guests inappropriately dressed for a church wedding. It's as if they haven't been taught when they were growing up on how to dress to attend a church. If you keep them away, how will they learn what the acceptable forms of behaviour are if they are not exposed to it from a young age.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 05/12/2013 22:47

I had religion, JW forced on me as a child. I really don't believe in much.
Im more than happy for my children to attend any religious ceremony and learn as much as they like, but Im wasn't happy for them to actually become any particular religion until they are old enough to make an informed decision. Its worked well.

Snowbility · 05/12/2013 22:47

I'm happy to allow my dcs to decide if they want to attend the religious assemblies. Had I known at school I'd have avoided them and done something more useful with my time - like twiddling my thumbs!

Caitlin17 · 05/12/2013 22:49

I'm pretty hard line atheist but this never bothered me. And I'd not have missed the Carol services in St. Giles Cathedral for the world, stunning setting and choir.

sittingbythefairylights · 05/12/2013 22:50

let him go - it's an experience, and it has to be a good thing to provide as many experiences as possible. You can always discuss it with him when at home later.

sandfrog · 05/12/2013 22:51

YABU

Original poster
stickysausages · 05/12/2013 22:52

Cool, will let him attend then, thanks!

OP posts:
Snowbility · 05/12/2013 22:54

Knowing what to wear changes...I grew up going to church every week, yet despite this when I was invited to a christening which I couldn't easily avoid, I had no idea what to wear. I asked churchy friends and they said like a wedding without the hat. Asked my dm and she said jeans and a coat cause it's bloody freezing - my mum was right - christening was for schooling, so it was no big deal. Asking is a wonderful thing - I'm blessed with a voice and a sense of dressing so as to not offend, which has little to do with my religion.

ravenAK · 05/12/2013 22:55

Euphemia - our Head overdid it on the Benylin one year when he had 'flu & pranced around Xmas assembly with a microphone making us sing carols karaoke-style.

With especial attention paid to any of his colleagues known to be an atheist or completely tone deaf.

I'm both.

Bullying in the workplace, I call it...Grin.

Caitlin17 · 05/12/2013 22:56

I also occasionally go to services in St. Mary's Episcopalian Cathedral simply because it's a beautiful building and the superb choir comes from the church's music school. I sit at the back as it were and don't take communion. Scottish Episcopalian is as about as accommodating and non preachy a religion as you'll find. I don't think they mind at all if someone gets some thing out of it which isn't strictly religious.

fuzzpig · 05/12/2013 23:08

:)

Hope he enjoys it. FWIW we are atheist too, but DD goes to all the school stuff and loves it (and I too love churches and carols). I've asked her in passing "do you think there's a God" and she just says she's not sure. I'm glad she can be part of the religious aspects of Christmas as it's something I have always loved despite never believing in God :)

Summerwood1 · 05/12/2013 23:12

No he should go,otherwise you will single him out,he needs different experiences to make his own mind up about his beliefs. Your views should not be his views.

Rosesarebeautiful · 05/12/2013 23:17

I am a churchgoer and find our school Christmas service is so politically correct it has lost connection with religion. I wouldn't worry- just enjoy it

Original poster
stickysausages · 05/12/2013 23:18

Thanks everyone, packing him off Grin

OP posts:
MrsMook · 05/12/2013 23:29

Christmas, Christianity and churches are important parts of our dominant culture regardless of personal belief. Experiencing a service in a church is an important educational experience, even if you end up zoning out being bored.

The comments about appropriate dressing reminds me of a Christening in our local church a few years ago, when I ended up next to some sniggering prats that giggled through the whole service. Yes respectful way to behave when praying/ reflecting on the deaths and suffering of 10s of thousands of people from a recent major earthquake. Not often I get the rage. I don't care what people do/ don't beleive in, but I do care about respect for beliefs and the world's community.

Anyway, glad he's going OP. It'll be an experience, and likely to be remembered.