to let my kids watch telly after school until bedtime

[fber]

My kids, 4 & 5, don't do anything after school. I work from home and so go and get them, let them veg in front of the telly while I work on the laptop, bring them in to the kitchen and try to get some coversation out of them over tea (which I eat with them) and then let them watch telly again until its bathtime.

I get the terrible guilts that I'm not taking them to tennis lessons etc! Although they do both do dancing/sports skills on Tuesdays.

AIBU?

I have always tried to limit TV (DP much more willing to switch it on). DD1 didn't see much until she was 3. DD2 of course watched some at a earlier age.

However, once my DD1 started school (and esp during Autumn term) she was so tired after school that she lost interest in playing with her toys completely and if I didn't put TV on she would fight constantly with her sister until I was having to pull them off each other.

Over the summer we went to the park most days but as this term drags on I have had to use TV more and more at the end of the day. If I didn't it would sometimes be total anarchy, screaming, crying mess and I wouldn't be able to leave the room to cook tea.

On a good day, when they are in a better mood (less tired), I will try to keep TV off until 4.30. Put it on for 30-45 minutes why I cook tea and they eat it. I will then turn it off (they tend to get a second wind at this point) and theput it on for one short goodnight programme each as it calms them down once they get hyper in the lead up to bed tgime.

I still feel very guilty about TV much of the time and occasionally wish I never had it in the house. I myself never have it on for me while they are awake so am trying to model my own modest tv consumption.

You need to turn it off

"Fortunately we live in a house where it is possible to do both, but thanks for the suggestion"

:o

Wow, two electric sockets, have you? Jaysus. :o

I've always had the tv on when mine were younger and even now.
They didn't sit and stare at it for hours...it was just on, like having the radio on.They usually did other things while it was on. They haven't suffered. All are articulate and achieve well at school.
We've always managed to have conversations
When we get fed up with it on, we turn it off.

It depends on exactly how much telly it actually is, and you haven't said. If it's home at 3.30, tea for twenty minutes, and bed at 7pm then it could be as much as three hours a day, five days a week. I think that is poor parenting tbh. Do you never read to them, or with them? Do you nver do anything at all with them during the week? That's very sad.

I hate continual tv. Very naff

I'm a childminder & don't allow TV before 5:30 or 6pm once minded children leave. Most afternoons I have a 4, 5, 6 & a 7 yr old who all get home from school tired & would no doubt flake in front of the TV. I've found 10 mins sat at the table for a snack & drink gives them a boost & they will (generally) entertain themselves for a good hour +.

Sometimes I get an activity out ready for them (craft, Hama beads, playdoh etc) or if then don't have something in mind I'll suggest a game/toys (cars, trains, lego, jenga/dominoes etc) but I'm rarely actively involved partly because I have little ones to tend to but mainly I think it's good for them to just play freely. In my experience most kids this age would jump at the chance to watch endless tv but it doesn't mean it's good for them so if it's your only option, I'd be looking for formal childcare at least a few days a week.

Oh & I don't feel mine have missed out from lack of after school activities (they do 1 each at the weekend & 1 at school) but there's definitely more pressure/requests as they get older.

Read the thread sparky! Op has said she reads to them

OP - if it makes you feel any better, my brother and I pretty much did nothing but watch television after school. However, we are both well-rounded adults with successful careers - though neither of us watch much (if any) telly these days!

wtf is "naff" supposed to mean in this context?

If that's the debating skills no tv gets you keep it on OP, keep it on.

I do think you're being unreasonable, personally. That's far too much tv.

Time to turn off the tv and do other things. Drawing, paint, playdoh, stamps, colouring in, cutting out, playmobil or similiar, garden if you have one, make a camp, kitchen/restaurant, sweeping up, books & magazines, jigsaws. They need your interaction. Can you work in the evenings when they are in bed? Could you ask someone to help you look after them

Sorry just read what you wrote. It's not continuous, give yourself a break!

OP - can your children string a sentence together?

Can they sit still for two minutes at a time and concentrate on something that isn't the TV?

Do they enjoy books?

Do they play imaginatively when they feel so inclined?

Does switching off the TV provoke HOURS of grief and moaning?

If you're answering yes to all but the last question then you and your kids are fine.

There is some seriously judgemental and competitive parenting on this thread

'INTERACT with your dc'

What's with the 'definately too much TV' 'TV = evil' brigade? It's not crack cocaine.

The OP is Nigella not Pete Doherty.