Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to let my kids watch telly after school until bedtime

65 replies

fber · 05/12/2013 17:58

My kids, 4 & 5, don't do anything after school. I work from home and so go and get them, let them veg in front of the telly while I work on the laptop, bring them in to the kitchen and try to get some coversation out of them over tea (which I eat with them) and then let them watch telly again until its bathtime.

I get the terrible guilts that I'm not taking them to tennis lessons etc! Although they do both do dancing/sports skills on Tuesdays.

AIBU?

OP posts:

HaroldTheGoat · 05/12/2013 19:30

I work from home too, so can understand your predicament.

Why not use an after school club twice a week and cram more in, then maybe telly one night, and try and not work the other?

Only saying as you sound like your not happy with it.

HaroldTheGoat · 05/12/2013 19:31

I think it depends on the children as well art, my older DS would not leave a laptop alone if you were working on it in same room so that wouldn't work for us, I just wait till he's in bed and nursery one day a week to get a big hit in.

Mintyy · 05/12/2013 19:44

I actually think it is better to send your children to some organised childcare if you possibly can, than to be half-working/half keeping an eye on them. You will get a lot more work done more efficiently, meaning more entirely work-free time to spend with your dc.

Bloob · 05/12/2013 19:48

It does sound like a lot of tv. But then my dd is 4, just started reception, some days all she wants to do is lie on the sofa and watch tv. She's exhausted. If I try to interest her in an activity she just gets tearful. Some days are better though and she will play or colour etc we sometimes do a board game, Lego etc. I can see if your dcs are like this a lot it might be best to chill and recuperate.

Slightly different as I am a sahm, I can see it would be hard if I was working too.

Do they want to watch tv as they're tired or because its convenient for you?

Mishmashofstyles · 05/12/2013 19:54

I don't think it matters. What, home at four, Tv for an hour, dinner, Tv for half an hour, baths and bed. Meh.

BarbarianMum · 05/12/2013 20:04

That sounds like a lot of TV.

How about come home, snack and TV for an hour then TV off and they play til/after dinner. Probably they'll whine the first couple of times (mine did) but they adapt quite fast.

katese11 · 05/12/2013 20:08

We do similar. Ds is a young 4 and 6 hrs of school every day mentally drains him. On days where we don't also have the nursery run we get in about 3:30, have a snack and do his reading then he watches TV from 4-4:45ish when he normally comes in to "help" me make dinner. Dinner about 5:15-5:45 ish so another 30 mins of TV before dh gets home. It's really not that much. His toys are out too, so he plays if he wants to. .. and dd potters about playing too. I also work from home and have dd to look after on those days, so some downtime is important to all of us. It might be just me, but I'd rather have him home and cuddling up while I work and he watches TV than for him to be in after school club. Again, just what works for us. ..

And who is playing in the garden after school right now? It's dark at 4!

JoinYourPlayfellows · 05/12/2013 20:11

I think I would cut out the second session of TV after they have their dinner.

It sounds a bit rubbish that ALL they do after school is watch telly for hours.

There are a lot of other things they could be doing, even with minimal supervision.

Taz1212 · 05/12/2013 20:16

I wouldn't do it personally, but they are your kids. I'm a bit strict though and DC don't get any screen time during the week unless they need to use the PC for school work. I also work from home and at that age my kids would come home from school and read picture books or do arts & crafts stuff or imaginative play etc when the weather was poor or play outside when it was nice. They had swimming lessons starting at age 4 and DS did a bit of football but they didn't really start organised activities until they were around 7.

fuzzpig · 05/12/2013 20:19

Totally forgot to pick up on the other part of your OP, please don't worry about the lack of organised extra curricular stuff, it's really not necessary at that age, they are only little! Just playing is all they need :)

blackandwhiteandredallover · 05/12/2013 20:21

Those saying 'set them up with a game' , don't forget they are 4 and 5! Now mine are 3 and 5, and don't get me wrong they love a board.game, and will play for ages as long as I am there. The minute I disappear to cook dinner or put the kettle on it all descends into chaos and bickering.

Some nights all mine do is watch tv, other nights we play a game, sometimes they do drawing. It all depends on how long I need to spend cooking and how tired they are.

Merryxmasmuckypup · 05/12/2013 20:22

I personally would rather have them at a childminder or after school club than letting them watch hours (by the sound of it) of tv after school.

Or could you spend some time with them straight after school, maybe have a snack, catch up on the day, then do some work when they are in bed? What do you do? Is this a possibility or do you have to be available between 4:00 and 6:00?

I don't think yabu as they are your DC and you should do what works for you and them. I don't think you are doing them any favours though! If I watched that much tv I would turn into a clutch potato!!

Merryxmasmuckypup · 05/12/2013 20:24

or couch potato even.....

JoinYourPlayfellows · 05/12/2013 20:24

Mmmmm, clutch potato :o

IsSpringSprangedYet · 05/12/2013 20:30

Up to you, your kids, so for that YANBU.

Is it everyday though? I let mine watch a DVD every now and then, but limit how long for, as I'm sure they'd watch it again and again given the opportunity. Tis handy though when you have something child-free that needs doing.

intitgrand · 05/12/2013 20:39

No problem they have been stimulated at school all day.They reach a stage when they are just ready to chill.
I doubt it is that much 4-5pm maybe and then 5.30-6?

PerfectlyChaotic · 05/12/2013 20:44

Agree totally with blackandwhite.

Mine are 6 & 4...they LOVE playing games with each other (and me & DH) but at this time of year they are totally shattered, we're all totally shattered. They come home and put the tv on straight away. We've usually scooted/played/run in the park after school and I think it gives then some chill out time before dinner (when we sit at table & chat), otherwise it descends into chaos!

My DCs are perfectly capable of imaginative play, love being creative and their reading is fantastic. Youngest only ever asks for tv time when he's exhausted. I don't think YABU OP, the fact that you ask the question shows that you're monitoring/aware of the screen time :)

CaterpillarCara · 05/12/2013 20:54

OK, at four and five they do not need anything structured like tennis but it does sound like a lot of TV. What would happen if you had different toys out for them on different days (so they stayed fresh but there was not too much to put away). Would they play unsupervised for at least some of the time, so you could cut the TV by even half?

Monday - dress ups and play dough with lots of cutters
Tuesday - puppets and old newspapers / magazines to cut up
Wednesday - trains and lego
Thursday - blocks and tea sets / dolls
Friday - musical instruments and sticker sets

What are you doing between dinner and bath? If it is dishes, etc, could they be in the kitchen with you - maybe with a big bowl of bubbly water and some bath toys?

thenamestheyareachanging · 05/12/2013 20:56

YABU, I think. I wouldn't do it anyway. They are stimulated at school all day, yes, but this is their chance tio relax, follow their own interests, and be creative. They will be tired after school, but imo, putting the telly on every day is setting up a pattern / habit that TV is the only way to relax.

Sorry, but if you're working from home, you do need childcare. I've done it myself, and there's no way I could have had the DC's around. Are you able to have a break after school, then work again when they are in bed? It's not really fair on them to be stuck in front of the telly and have no engagement with you because you're working. I don't mean that to sound harsh, but it doesn't sound ideal for anyone, or that you are happy with it.

thenamestheyareachanging · 05/12/2013 20:58

Oh, after school activities totally unecessary at this age imo - I'd do one thing a week max. They need time to unwind and just be children.

complexnumber · 05/12/2013 21:05

With ours, the TV is on quite a bit, but they are rarely actually watching it.
DP often turns it off with no protests from any of them.

I, on the other hand, have to have some background noise and feel really uncomfortable in silence.

CaterpillarCara · 05/12/2013 21:10

OP has said that they "veg" though - so it is possible they are getting in the habit of solely watching.

I like background noise too, but we use Funkids for that over the Internet.

JoinYourPlayfellows · 05/12/2013 21:11

"I, on the other hand, have to have some background noise and feel really uncomfortable in silence."

Switch off the TV and put on the radio?

HaroldTheGoat · 05/12/2013 21:14

I know what you mean complex my mum has the telly on all day every day watching or not. I don't but feel like I need something so I put kids songs in now or the radio.

Interestingly, DP was brought up in a very limited TV house and u was home TV dinner bed and I am the one now who can take it or leave it. And I find that quite a bit with people.

complexnumber · 05/12/2013 21:18

^"I, on the other hand, have to have some background noise and feel really uncomfortable in silence."
Switch off the TV and put on the radio?^

Fortunately we live in a house where it is possible to do both, but thanks for the suggestion

Flip

1 2 3