Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think parents should provide a better pack lunch than this??

209 replies

neverlookback · 04/12/2013 13:12

My dd goes to the local community nursery a couple of mornings a week and when I pick her up at 12 all the kids staying all day have thier pack lunches ready on the tables, today as I'm waiting for dd to come through I noticed someone had sent in a bowl of cold takeaway garlic bread and chips! You could tell it was takeaway there's only 1 in our village!

I'm all for takeaway sometimes but I don't think this is a nice, healthy lunch for any child to have to take to nursery and eat cold or is it just me??

OP posts:
Kwitter · 04/12/2013 22:50

Add message | Report | Message poster NicPen Wed 04-Dec-13 22:27:02
Yuk! Poor kid The thought of cold chips and garlic bread makes me want to vomit.

Well yes, not on my list of fav meals but then I still have a choice, I hope these parents do too.

As an aside, I buy packets of fresh ravioli. My DS likes to cook it until it's mush and eat it bare.
I prefer to cook up an onion, garlic and chopped tomato sauce with peppersand chopped ham then cook the fresh ravioli in the sauce. I add things like herbs and Harissa paste and I serve it with a sprinkle of Parmesan. He still prefers his mush. What can I say.

Sometimes you just let them eat the half arsed shit and choose to win a bigger argument.

birdynumnums · 04/12/2013 22:55

I think it's a crap lunch. I'd be embarrassed sending it in but if it was the only thing my kid would eat, i'd still send it.

I'd be so interested in any mumsnet dinner ladies posting what normal lunches are. My DS1 is being assessed for autism, is extremely fussy and I often think they must judge me so much. As a rule my DS1 gets...

ham sandwich
banana
yoghurt tube
cheese stick
wotsits / mince or apple pie
milkshake (he won't drink juice at all)

it's better than cold chips and garlic bread but not great is it? More than half of it goes in the bin at the end of the day and if I send anything else, the vast majority of it Sad

DS2 is beautiful to feed as he will eat just EVERYTHING in sight.

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/12/2013 22:56

Sometimes you just let them eat the half arsed shit and choose to win a bigger argument.

There's half arsed shit. Then there's cold chips. In a lunch box. For a three year old.

tinmug · 04/12/2013 22:57

Bloomin what happens if the parent just has a "fuck it, that'll do" attitude to child-rearing - ie sub-standard but not "bad enough" to justify removing the child? Is there a sort of middle way, somewhere between no involvement and taking the child into care, which means that social services is involved in the family for the child's benefit in some capacity in the long term?

Kwitter · 04/12/2013 23:08

Add message | Report | Message poster Gileswithachainsaw Wed 04-Dec-13 22:56:13
Sometimes you just let them eat the half arsed shit and choose to win a bigger argument.

There's half arsed shit. Then there's cold chips. In a lunch box. For a three year old.

The fact that you choose to quote one line of my post only shows your limits sweetheart. Not to mention a somewhat aggressive username for a parenting site, wind your neck in honey. Or go to bed.

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/12/2013 23:16

Agressive name? It was a buffy thread name change Confused

BohemianGirl · 04/12/2013 23:20

Perhaps she was short of a bob or two until payday and scrabbled round the cupboards for something edible and transportable. We've all been 12 hours from payday and no milk in the house.

BloominNora · 04/12/2013 23:23

tinmug - there are a lot of interventions between doing nothing and taking a child into care.

The first step - assuming that what was going on wasn't bad enough to warrant a section 47 Child Protection assessment would be to raise a CAF (Common Assessment Framework). Almost any professional involved with a child can raise a CAF - schools tend to raise the most.

Depending on the situation and the needs of the child, the CAF would allow a lead professional to be identified. This may be a member of staff at the school, an education welfare officer, an ed psych, a health visitor, a school nurse, a member of staff from a children's centre or family centre etc etc. It may be a member of staff from social services if the situation is deemed to be borderline neglect but does not quite meet the threshold criteria for a child protection assessment.

The CAF would allow a Team Around the Child (TAC) to be formed. The TAC could be made up of one or more professionals listed above plus others I probably haven't thought of. The TAC will work with the child and parents to improve the situation and get the parents access to any number of early help services.

If there was no improvement OR the situation was deemed bad enough to be neglect / abuse, a referral would be made to social services. In very few cases does a child get taken 'straight into care'. Neglect or abuse has to be really severe for this to happen.

However, the child may be placed on a Child In Need plan, or if section 47 thresholds are met, then they would be placed on a Child Protection Plan. The family / child would get regular visits from a social worker who would work with them to try and improve the situation with the ultimate aim being the ending of the plan / de-escalation onto a CAF.

In some cases, the Child Protection plan doesn't work and the child is taken into care. In the majority of cases, they are not and life for that child and their parents is improved.

The Munroe report recognised that there was not enough focus on early help services and too many families were falling into the Child Protection / Care net when they could have been helped much earlier, which is why most Local Authorities are really pushing CAFS and investing in Early Help Services.

It is early days, but there is starting to be an expectation that, apart from in cases of really serious and substantial neglect or abuse, a referral should not be made to Social Services unless a CAF has been raised first. There is also a lot of work being done around de-escalation of Child Protection onto a CAF so families are not left to swing in the wind when social work involvement comes to an end. This should hopefully prevent referrals to social services and kids ending up back on CP plans.

Ultimately it should mean a better deal and a lot more help available for vulnerable children and families.

FloozeyLoozey · 04/12/2013 23:30

Ds hates marg/butter. He has a quarter of a dry ham sandwich and carrot sticks or an apple every single day! And he's nearly 8! Not much is it? But it's all he'll eat at lunch time. I always think it must look like I'm starving him. He isn't underweight and eats plenty of an evening but jus doesn't get very hungry during the day and is very fussy about what he will or will not eat. I don't want a battle ground so I just let him be.

Titsalinabumsquash · 04/12/2013 23:51

Just for those spouting the "what on earth medical reason could there be to need shit like this" thing...

My son has a medical,condition where he doesn't absorb fat or vitamins from food, he's Pancreatic Insufficiency means he is now underweight and very short, his bones are also suffering. All these things are secondary problems due to his condition. He has to eat high fat/ high calorie food, no problem right? Cheese, cream, butter, etc etc easy to without resorting to some more undesirable choices...

He's also got moderate social and behavioural delays and difficulties, I have to pick between fighting a battle everyday to get him to eat 'healthy' high cal foods )which some days he is happy to do) or just let him have what he wants. The need for the calories is bigger than the need for him to eat well, his health is not something I'm willing to argue over for the sake of teaching him a life lesson.

So there you go, one legitimate reason why a medical,condition could have caused the outrage of the lunch.

Also as an anecdote, one of the other children that has the same thing as DS has a microwave kept in school so he can have micro burgers/ chips and mayonnaise, every single day...

Kwitter · 04/12/2013 23:53

Add message | Report | Message poster Gileswithachainsaw Wed 04-Dec-13 23:16:10
Agressive name? It was a buffy thread name change

You mean the teeny vamp hype guff? Okay, whatever gets you through the day! Grin

It's by the by.

If you are going to quote, do it in context.

Thanks.

Retroformica · 05/12/2013 05:03

A rare child may need a specific unhealthy diet for serious health reasons (I know one) but most parents who give crap food are just giving crap food with no valid health reason. I do feel extremely sorry for the kids as they really are at the mercy of their parents poor food preferences. Food does effect long term health and so I take my hat off to any Tom Dick or Harry who challenges the poor diet of children.

clickers123 · 05/12/2013 05:11

That sounds a pretty crappy lunch. But it's not your place to judge! even though we all do

TiredDog · 05/12/2013 06:56

Are you always so passive aggressive kwitter?

sherazade · 05/12/2013 06:58

internet random you've cut off a big chink of my quote where i talked about a boy in my class having a shit lunch just underneath the bit headlice and ripped shoes!!!! I said i reserve judging for when i am able to do something about the situation!! Not for more serious matters! As far as i am concerned a shit lunch is as bad as headlice and ripped clothing, but possibly far worse! Cannot believe youve twisted my words and misquoted me to make a point.

Lagoonablue · 05/12/2013 07:01

Common sense tells you it is a rubbish lunch. Only in Mn world are you not allowed an opinion on it. Only only MN will people come up with a thousand potential explanations to excuse the poor standard of food given to a small child.

TiredDog · 05/12/2013 07:08

Lagoon. Exactly that.

sherazade · 05/12/2013 07:10

I get this thread. If you don't join in on the vocal witch hunt against parents who feed their kids a poor lunch then its assumed that you're fine with it. Whining about how shit other peoples parenting is on mumsnet clearly makes some peo

sherazade · 05/12/2013 07:11

People feel very moral and that they hve done their duty! Sorry about the split post.. Iphone keypad/7am..

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/12/2013 07:21

lagoon exactly.

I'm usually able to defend most stuff that others disagree with and u try to be sympathetic. But I can't defend that. I just can't. If there was money for chips there was money for a loaf of bread. And worse case senario a neighbour would have chucked an apple and bead fir a sandwich.

volestair · 05/12/2013 07:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ll31 · 05/12/2013 08:14

Yabu, one lunch no problem. It's food ffs even if it's not as wonderful as what you'd provide...

tinmug · 05/12/2013 09:18

Thanks Bloomin

mistermakersgloopyglue · 05/12/2013 09:25

kwitter your posts towards giles are making you look quite the eejit .

Sweetheart.

rookietherednosedreindeer · 05/12/2013 09:32

Bloomin Nora's posts make a lot of sense.

Swipe left for the next trending thread