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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not get my 7 month old baby a christmas present

60 replies

rpitchfo · 04/12/2013 12:50

He's going to get plenty/too many presents that he will never even look at from family and friends.

He won't have a clue what's happening. Has anybody else done this? Am i a horrible person.

OP posts:
msmoss · 04/12/2013 13:28

I'm not particularly sentimental or even that bothered about christmas, I even stretch towards being a bit bah humbug but I would go towards YABU. Just something about a parent not even giving a child a small gift at christmas makes me feel a bit sad.

I totally get the not wanting to overload him with too much plastic tat, but a nice book that you can read to him wouldn't be a waste.

DS1 was 8 months for his first christmas and it was great fun watching him try to take the wrapping paper off his presents and I'd have felt like an awful mother if DH and I had exchanged gifts without him getting anything.

Thegreatunslept · 04/12/2013 13:36

My ds will be 8months at Christmas from us he is getting 2bath books and a vech bug. His sister has got him ducks on a string!
I keep looking at his presents thinking we're being mean but he doesn't need anything else so I'm not going to buy stuff he doesn't need.

Funghoul · 04/12/2013 13:38

We've got dd presents and she'll be 7 months at Christmas, but they are clothes that she will need anyway, and 2 toys that I liked the look of and would have probably bought anyway. Everything was bought in sales or on offer so we haven't spent a lot. We have got a decoration kit from mamas and papas where you do a handprint in clay to hang on the tree, maybe that's worth a look.

Lilicat1013 · 04/12/2013 13:38

My eldest was eight months old his first Christmas. I got him loads of things, too much in reflection.

That said all the toys were used, some he still plays with now at 3 and a half (wooden blocks, hide and squeak eggs, stacking cups) and the rest are entertaining his ten month old brother.

When his brother grows out of them they will be passed on to friends or to charity for other babies to enjoy.

He had a lovely first Christmas, he enjoyed laying in to the wrapping paper and playing with the stick on stars. Although people say they don't notice the toys he loved the Nuby Teether he got from Father Christmas, he wouldn't let go of it and I remember sitting with him on Boxing Day building towers out of blocks and letting him knock them down which he found so funny.

He got a ride on car from my Mum and I have videos of my husband racing him up and down the hallway on it. Lots of lovely memories.

It seems sad to me not to buy a child of age any something at Christmas. You don't need to go over board of spend a lot but it is just lovely to have something wrapped up with their name on.

2Tinsellytocare · 04/12/2013 13:57

Some people need to get a sense of perspective 'awful mother'?? Don't feel 'sad' for my baby thanks

msmoss · 04/12/2013 14:08

I said I would have felt like an awful mother, not that anyone else was one Hmm

I have plenty of perspective and this is mine on this issue.

mumbaisapphirebluespruce · 04/12/2013 14:19

DD is going to be 7 months at Christmas. She's getting some squirty bath toys and a rubber duck, plus some clothes and books. Just a few small things she needs.

2Tinsellytocare · 04/12/2013 14:20

If that is what you perspective on what would make you an awful mother then I disagree that you have any

msmoss · 04/12/2013 14:36

I didn't say I would be an awful mother but that I would feel like one, there is a difference.

I buy gifts at christmas for the people I love, I gets lots of pleasure out of giving gifts and I just can't imagine excluding my children from this process no matter how young they are.

Whilst I get the thought process behind not buying a very young child a gift, it just comes across as a bit of a miserly and unnecessarily practical approach to a time of celebration.

2Tinsellytocare · 04/12/2013 14:48

What is the difference? If you feel so badly about it you could always give to a childrens charity for genuinely deprived children.

VisualiseAHorse · 04/12/2013 14:57

We bought one book for our lad last year when he was about 8 months.

GoldenGytha · 04/12/2013 15:07

DD1 was 5 months when her first Christmas came around,

I loved buying her presents, a soft doll, toy monkey, rattle, and lots of clothes, sure I bought more but it's 22 years ago so can't remember exactly.

I wouldn't have dreamed of not buying her anything, just wouldn't have sat right with me.

Perspective21 · 04/12/2013 15:11

My first baby was 4 months for her first Christmas. I helped relatives with ideas from ELC and naice wooden toys and then bought her practically a small library full of new books which I knew we would enjoy over the coming year.
Her big present was a 6 CD changer for my car, which she and her sister enjoyed for many years driving backwards and forwards to see relatives! I have never had children's songs in the car, by the by, just stuff I'm happy to drive to.
My third baby was just 15 days old, and still in hospital for Christmas but I'd got unisex presents before as I knew his sisters were watching! He had tasteful soft toys and lovely fabric books. His sisters opened them for him and then we brought them home again to save them for him. Thankfully he was home for the New Year, so got to see the tree and decs!!

BoohPear · 04/12/2013 15:15

Dd will be 9 months at Christmas, we have bought her a personalised stocking and bauble but also a few toys but they are things we would have bought anyway at some point, a shape sorter and a bath toy etc as we don't really have any toys for her yet only a couple of baby ones and then teethers. deprived pfb.

revivingshower · 04/12/2013 15:18

I got my dog an Xmas present so why not. I think it could be anything you might usually buy her wrapped up in shiny paper.

SoonToBeSix · 04/12/2013 15:23

Why don't you get a large cardboard box, wrap it up and fill it with balloons. Practically free, loads of fun and will soon be thrown away so doesn't take up space.

msmoss · 04/12/2013 15:26

2Tinsellytocare why do you care what I think or do?

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 04/12/2013 15:32

Ds will be 8 months at Christmas, we've gotten him a personalised christmas stocking and tree decoration. I've only bought him little rattles etc that cost no more than a couple of quid each to put in his stocking. His main present this year is going to be a Sofie the Giraffe!

DFIL has sent us £100 for his Christmas box, we've just topped up his wardrobe.
Other family members have asked what DS wants for Christmas (what does an 8 month old want other than boob and a clean bum?) again we've just asked for clothes or money so we can buy him new clothes or to put it in his savings.
My DM will go overboard as he is her PFBGS - she will most likely make up for the lack of toys.

2Tinsellytocare · 04/12/2013 15:33

Because of the awful mother thing since you ask, convinient that it only applies to you, I call bullshit and as for miserly you have no idea

DreamingOfTheMaldives · 04/12/2013 15:38

I've just bought 3 month old DS some books - some of the Emma Dodd ones which are gorgeous and I'm going to write a note in them for him.

The dog has also bought DS a book Blush

I think I've spent about £16 altogether.

thegreylady · 04/12/2013 15:43

Please yourself. I wouldn't be able to resist buying something eg a copy of Peter Rabbit inscribed for *** on your first Christmas 2013. Put it away until he is ready to enjoy having it read to him and treasure it.

thegreylady · 04/12/2013 15:45

Also he will appreciate age appropriate toys during the year to come :)

msmoss · 04/12/2013 15:52

2tinsellytocare It isn't convenient that the awful mother comment only applies to me, in the context I used it does only apply to me as I was talking about my own feelings regarding the matter. I've explained myself, you are unprepared to accept my explanation I can't do anything about this.

Sorry if I've made you feel bad, I wouldn't even have used the word miserly if you hadn't been so intent on winding me up.

pantsjustpants · 04/12/2013 16:03

Ds was due on the 22nd December, when dd was 5.5. So prime Christmas excitement age! We got a couple of small things from Father Christmas, which he left despite ds being overdue and eventually born (after induction) on New Years Day.

Dd was very impressed with FC!

2Tinsellytocare · 04/12/2013 16:10

I dont feel bad nor am I winding you up just wanted clarification which im not getting. You say you have perspectve so surely that means that you feel the awful mother tag is justified. No presents= awful mother Presents= great mother?? You think I have a miserly attitude I think yours in shallow so I guess we are equal

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