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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think charity workers shouldn't be allowed to knock on your door?

64 replies

EweHaveGoatToBeSkiddinInSnow · 03/12/2013 20:44

I've had three tonight. Three different couples representing three different charities.

I don't want to be specific about which charities, but here's the gist.

The 1st couple worked for a cancer charity. My door went at 6pm. So off i went out to answer. As soon as i opened it, I was greeted with, "Would you like to help a child with cancer?' No hello or anything. So i just said, "no thank you," feeling tremendously guilty. What is the appropriate response to that?

2nd couple came at 8.10pm, representing a charity for deaf people. Again, the door went. I answered. Conversation went like this:

Them: "Oh, that was a very determined door-opening!"
Me: "Can i help you?"
Them: "How are you doing tonight?"
Me: "Sorry, i've left my daughter upstairs. I'm halfway through getting her sorted for bed. Can i help you?"
Them: "Ah, what age is she? I have a little one myself."
SILENCE.
Them: "We're from X. Would you like to sponsor -"
Me: "Sorry, not interested."

3rd couple came at 8.20 pm, representing a different cancer charity. So i opened the door (with dd shouting from upstairs, "Muuuuum, please come and finish my story!").

Them: "Oh, hello there. Is your mum or dad at home?"
Me: Hmm
Them: "Sorry, is that your little one i can hear shouting?"
Me: "Yep. What is it you're wanting, please?"
Them: "Well, why don't you go see to her and we'll chat when you're done? Or we can come back?"
Me: "What is it you're selling?"
Them: "Well, we're from X. We're wondering if you know anything about -?"
Me: "Sorry, no thanks."
Them: "Ah, you're probably wanting to keep extra for your Christmas shopping, eh?" (Clearly this was intended to be a joke, but i didn't find it remotely funny.)

I hate unexpected visitors. Especially when they give big police-knocks such as these people did earlier. It makes me all edgy. This doesn't happen often by the way. Perhaps 3-4 times a year.

Surely charities' money would be better spent by:
a) not paying their directors over £100 grand a year
b) not employing so many chuggers
c) advertising their charities in a way that doesn't intimidate people (knocking on their doors/approaching them on the street/standing by the doorways of shops) and perhaps using something like billboards, posters, leaflets, free seminars. Things that can be voluntarily approached rather than have thrown in people's faces.

If anything, people coming to my door trying to sell me a charity actually puts me off them. Charity is a personal thing. It should be voluntary. It should come from the heart; not from intimidation/guilt.

Or ... AIB totally U?

OP posts:
Famzilla · 03/12/2013 20:48

Can't you put a "no cold callers" sign your door. I have done and they are very respectful of this.

Sirzy · 03/12/2013 20:50

I don't agree with the door to door collecting, but I understand why they do it. Most of the time it is done through a company though where the people doing it know nothing about the charity in question.

But on your other points

a) If charities want the best staff in order to help them meet their charitable outcomes in the best way, and bring in the most money for the charity unfortunatly they need to offer a wage which will compete with other sectors otherwise people will go elsewhere. I can understand why people don't like charities paying employees, and I know of a few charities who have very much streamlined in few years to reduce the amount of paid staff but it is needed and the wages need to be competitive for similar jobs in other sectors.

b) they will only employ them (or the companies to do it) if they can be pretry sure they will make signifantly more money than it costs

c) see B. Any campain for a sucessful charity will be well planned and researched in order to ensure cost of doing it will be less than what is brought in (unless the campain isn't about getting money in but helping meet some other charitable aim)

Mintyy · 03/12/2013 20:50

Yanbu.

Preciousbane · 03/12/2013 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OddBoots · 03/12/2013 20:51

YANBU but I've got this sign up and I've found it very effective.

Sirzy · 03/12/2013 20:52

Also do be careful giving to door to door collectors there have been cases locally of people pretending to be from a charity to get money

CrohnicallySick · 03/12/2013 20:52

The correct response to 'is your mum or dad at home?' is 'I don't know, let me just give them a ring!' (Took the sales person a few moments for the penny to drop).

But no, YANBU. I presume charity figures show that door knocking is worthwhile as it brings donations in. But it gets me when you are blatantly busy and they try to keep you talking. Couple 2, you were polite and apologised but explained why you could not talk. The correct response from them should have been 'sorry to bother you, goodbye'. Or possibly even 'here's one of our leaflets, goodbye'.

PS after 8pm seems a little late to me, DD is in bed around 7pm and most of the children I know would be either in bed or getting ready at that time. And my grandma (and I would imagine most elderly or vulnerable people) would not feel comfortable answering her door at that time, particularly with the dark nights now (I know it's dark by 5pm but at least at that time there are people coming home from work etc. by 8pm the streets are more or less deserted).

harticus · 03/12/2013 20:53

Don't answer the door.
I never open the door to anyone I am not expecting.

As for chuggers YANBU I absolutely detest them.

I was just recovering from a chemo dose, staggering through town with my then 14 month old baby, wondering how the fuck I was going to make ends meet and this little undergraduate snot in a tabard accosts me on behalf of a charity.
I said "No please not today ... I cannot afford it anyway."
And he said "Well you look pretty flush to me. Not exactly starving and impoverished are you?"

And last month I had this little mare follow me all the way down the street haranguing me until I just yelled "No - just go away!"
She then had the cheek to say "Rude people like you make me sick"
And I'm thinking - Wait a minute - I was walking along minding my own business till you suddenly decided to harass me.

And don't get me started on pens/coasters/address labels etc through the post.

lanbro · 03/12/2013 20:53

I used to very politely say "I don't like being doorstepped thank you, I prefer to choose where and when I donate" until I got fed up and put a no cold callers sign on the door!

Incidentally my bil once answered the door with a bottle of beer in his hand and they said they couldn't accept anything off him anyway if he was under the influence! Keep a glass of wine next to the door!

CrohnicallySick · 03/12/2013 20:54

Real charities are not allowed to collect money door to door, they have to sign you up for DDs or let you make an online payment. At least, that's what I was told, because I have offered to make cash donations on the doorstep before, and they have refused to take it.

puntasticusername · 03/12/2013 20:57

"they couldn't accept anything off him anyway if he was under the influence".

That is one of the best excuses for midweek drinking I've ever heard. I'm so using that.

cantheyseeme · 03/12/2013 21:00

I hate them all, find it very intrusive alongside the religious people too. They also get paid shit loafs hense why theyre so persistant, where can i get a sticker or sign from? I come home to RELAX not be pestered for money i dont have that i suspect a fraction of the tax i pay anyway.

bubblesausage · 03/12/2013 21:02

Yanbu Drives me mad. I look quite young and also get asked whether my mum or dad are in! I've figured a good response is no, and I'm not allowed to talk to strangers Grin
Was also once asked by someone from Red Cross how old I was, and them told as I was under 25 I wasn't allowed to donate anyway?!

ravenAK · 03/12/2013 21:03

I just tell them that I never, ever, give to chuggers & shut the door in their face.

Saves time for both sides.

SeaSickSal · 03/12/2013 21:13

I don't answer the door if I'm not expecting people.

I feel sorry for the people doing it though, they are being scammed too, normally by a company called Cobra.

They target people who have their CVs on job sites being vague about what the job is but pretending it's a proper one with a real salary. They offer people a 'trial' which is basically driving them to another town then telling them the job is actually commission only. But because they are far from home and need a lift back they still have to go knocking on doors. They also encourage people to start their own 'companies' recruiting others for the same scam as sort of a pyramid scheme .

It 's the fact that they don 'to pay them that makes it profitable. And it can cause real hardship for people who sign off the dole thinking it's a real job.

I won't give money to charities that chug, I think the way they treat people who are desperate for work is appalling.

SunshineSuperNova · 03/12/2013 21:22

I used to work in the field and it's highly unusual for more than one person to turn up a night.

I would suggest contacting the PFRA www.pfra.org.uk and making a complaint about the number of fundraisers. IIRC (it's been a while) charities usually coordinate so there is only one working in one area at a time.

sooperdooper · 03/12/2013 21:26

I absolutely hate people door atrpp

womma · 03/12/2013 21:29

Oh, I hate this too. We used to get a lot, but the sign from MoneySavingExpert has worked a treat.

formerbabe · 03/12/2013 21:33

Don't ever open the door if you don't know who the person is. I wouldn't even engage with them... I have a cheap intercom and tell them to get off my property....that sends them packing.

Original poster
EweHaveGoatToBeSkiddinInSnow · 03/12/2013 21:39

Oh, i like the ideas of having a wine glass to hand when the door goes and having a sign.

I also agree that after 8pm is a ridiculous time to come cold calling. DD was already overtired as we were out visiting her gran after school and were late back. And her bedtime story was interrupted twice, so she wasn't best pleased.

And i agree that three of them visiting on the same night is also ridiculous. I've had two on the same night before, never three. They did seem legit though with their badges etc.

i do get really jumpy when the door gets thwacked like that unexpectedly, especially when it happens more than once. Sorry my OP was a bit overly ranty.

OP posts:
Twoandtwomakeschaos · 03/12/2013 21:41

I hate the peremptory knocking during bathtime, which suggests it is important. I can't remember what I said that time, but I was very, firmly, unamused with the very young man who tried to engage me in jovial conversation prior to signing me up.

Usually, if I am downstairs when they knock, I open the door, ascertain who they are and shut it immediately saying "No, thank-you". If they are persistent sales people, telling them "I don't even know which company our gas/electricity is from, as my husband deals with it all", flummoxes them long enough to shut the door/move away if in the street (and has the advantage of being mostly true, as he does and as we have changed several times recently and I have more impoartnat things to remember).

Edendance · 03/12/2013 21:42

Was polite to one once, but said I wasn't interested and as I shut the door I heard him say "not interested in helping any children then?" Well, that was it! I opened back up the door, and he was all sweetness and light, denied he'd said what he'd said, but I let rip a barrage of info about all the work I've done both paid and voluntary helping children as a nanny, kids club staff, playscheme worker, special needs LSA, special needs nanny and ABA tutor both in the UK as well as Greece and Egypt. He looked suitably embarrassed when I was done as I excused myself to feed my charges their dinner...

wonkylegs · 03/12/2013 21:43

I hate it. I always interrupt as they do their 1st line and firmly say.... I don't want you to waste your time I don't donate at the door, goodbye.
Once I got a foot in the door and a why not don't you care about sick children? That brought out the hard hard nosed bitch in me and I gave a few choice words and told him to remove his foot.
I do donate often generously to various charities but I will do it on my terms, not because somebody comes to my door.
I thought when we moved to the country from a city we'd get less of them but because it's quite a wealthy area they seem to target us even more.

MistressDeeCee · 03/12/2013 21:45

SeaSickSalShock I'd no idea that's how they treat people - conning them into a job, basically.

I can't bear chuggers - the shopping precinct where I live is small and there are so many chuggers there, alongside the Sky & Talk Talk bods trying to get you to sign up for their stuff too. I'm sure women are approached more. I've no qualms in saying no, I'm busy. & when they knock on my front door I won't even open it. Having said that I do feel sorry for them, it looks like a horrible job.

I'm very biased against giving to most charities. Way back when I was a student I worked evening shifts for a black taxi company. The rudest, most arrogant callers (as if there's any need to be snotty when calling a taxi?!)were charity bosses off to some event normally just a few minutes walk from their office. Most charities had taxi accounts, they kept us very busy, loads of calls nightly. It put me off them for life, I just feel if I give then I'm paying for their expenses and, why should I? Its the chuggers who are probably on less than 1/8th of their salary I feel sorry for. I'm also not clear on what percentage of donations is used directly for charitable purposes.

Not to mention I always feel there's an expectation that the working classes should be the conscience of the government re.giving to charitable causes. Well - let MPs & the well-off give; I can't afford to.

Ephiny · 03/12/2013 21:47

You don't have to answer the door if it's not convenient. Still annoying to have people banging on the door though.

I do give to charities - but those I've researched and chosen and decided to support in my own time. I never hand over money or details to doorsteppers/chuggers.