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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I REALLY being unreasonable to buy my DS a barbie?

74 replies

MrsPeeWee · 03/12/2013 13:40

My DS is almost 6. He's our only child. Smile

He is really interested in playing with little figures and people. We have bought him some action men and little figures for Christmas. For weeks now, he has been asking for a barbie doll, so I bought him a cheap one earlier today.

My DH forbid me to buy him one.
So before DH gets home, I am looking for some points to throw at him to shut him up. Grin

So, is it really a big deal?
(I personally don't believe it is.)

OP posts:
BanjoPlayingTiger · 03/12/2013 14:05

I wouldn't buy my ds a barbie, but then I wouldn't but my dd one either. I dislike Barbie dolls immensely. I'd buy them dolls or cars regardless of gender, but not the disfigured image of womanhood that is the Barbiedoll.

DeWe · 03/12/2013 14:13

Totally unreasonable. Barbie is horrible. She was banned in our house for all dc, boys or girls.

actually she wasn't banned, dd2 got given a couple but she didn't like them either

Ds loves his pink onsie though.

perfectstorm · 03/12/2013 14:18

I think you're being a good mum, actually. And I don't like it when people on MN foam about girls wanting girlie toys either. The point isn't that they are inferior for being aimed at girls, it's that they are seen as inferior societally - there is no shame in a girl who plays with "boys toys" and yet a ton with the reverse. If your DS wants one, good on him. If a girl wants one, who cares? Nothing wrong with feminine branding, just strait-jacketing by gender.

I'm afraid I do also think you need to chat to DS about social pressures, though, and the need to be circumspect so he isn't bullied. We live in an eyewateringly sexist world, and schoolkids will shred him over this one if they find out. I take the "it's stupid and a shame, but..." route, myself. And you also might want to have the chat about how they don't reflect what real ladies look like, and how silly it is that girls and boys are led to think that they do. But then I brainwash my kids with my political leanings regularly. Because as far as I can see, society brainwashes them way more effectively, so a little counterweight can't be a bad thing.

perfectstorm · 03/12/2013 14:19

I really like that Lottie doll a lot, though. Thanks for the link.

Original poster
MrsPeeWee · 03/12/2013 14:37

Perfectstorm - Your reply was very insightful, so thank you. Smile I have taken much of it on board.

OP posts:
HopAlongOnItsOnlyChristmas · 03/12/2013 14:42

Brilliant post perfectstorm

I take the approach that DS can play with whatever age appropriate toy he wants. If he wants action men and toy trains because that's what he wants then fine, if he wants a doll and a pink tea set then he can have those too. It's being told that a boy or a girl should only play with certain toys because of their gender that is the issue.

Mumsyblouse · 03/12/2013 15:00

I wish I'd known about the Lottie doll before as well, it looks cute.

Do you think it's too young for a just eight year old (girl, not that it's relevant on this thread)?

My eldest never 'did' dolls and given I hated Barbies/Bratz I never really bought my other one any and now am remembering how much fun it was playing with Pippa dolls and the like.

MrsLettuce · 03/12/2013 15:25

I don't think so Mumsy, no. They are very much in the vein of Barbies in terms of having loads of clothes, good movement and that, they're just not hypersexualised adult women, got to be worth a try!

NotYouNaanBread · 03/12/2013 15:31

Barbies are a bit grim - if he wants a doll like that, maybe consider Lottie? I'm thrilled to have found out about her - my 2.5 & 5 yo dd's are getting 1 each for Christmas.

charleyturtle · 03/12/2013 15:55

tell him that action man would like a wife. or just "tough titties i bought it anyway"

puntasticusername · 03/12/2013 16:31

Yep. Tell your DH that DS needs a female doll so he can play families properly. Tell him DS is much more likely to catch the gay if he only plays with male figures.

It's been proved, and everything. Because science.

uselessinformation · 04/12/2013 23:26

Ds asked for a Barbie and I bought him one the same as if I had a girl and she asked for one. Barbie sat on the back of action man's bike, in her wedding dress, most of the time!

ShowMeYourTARDIS · 04/12/2013 23:44

Perfectly normal. To him, it's just a toy.

My developmental psychology professor happily bought her DS barbies and still paints his nails!

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood · 04/12/2013 23:48

I love the idea of a boy wanting a barber but in the same way as no female child of mine would be allowed one then neither would a son. A female character doll yep fine just not one who is such a hideous representation of womankind

needaholidaynow · 05/12/2013 00:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBigJessie · 05/12/2013 00:19

You're all unreasonable. He needs a Sindy!

Idespair · 05/12/2013 00:21

You could buy him a female doll figure that is not a barbie. Barbies are not great. Read something (not sure if on here) that said if Barbie was scaled up to the size of a human, her middle is so small that all her organs could not fit in her body and her ankles are so thin they could not support her weight. Barbie is something you buy if you can't avoid it, rather than some thing you buy because you actually want to iyswim.

IThoughtThat · 05/12/2013 00:28

I think YABU, Barbies are awful Confused How do you think he would he play with it? Would he role play or would he do dressing up? Maybe if it's more the role playing that he enjoys you could find another type of female doll.

I was pretty relaxed about what toys my kids played with (this was in the days before Mumsnet Grin ) but I never had big boobed barbies with their teeny weeny waists and high heals in my house.

sutekidane · 05/12/2013 00:52

These men are very strange. Forbidding dolls? Having to be convinced that gender stereotyping is mental? Ishoos.

KissesBreakingWave · 05/12/2013 03:49

Surely if you're going to get your DS a lady doll (as distinct from a man doll, which Action Man bloody well is) surely you want to get him one that isn't obviously a cold-eyed devil-woman with a whole load of shit going on that no man with any sense wants any part of? I mean, look at Ken. There is no fucking WAY that Stepford Smile isn't the pasted on mask of a terrified domestic abuse victim. She never leaves marks where they'll show.

KissesBreakingWave · 05/12/2013 03:52

And yes, I've got issues myself. But not so many that I can't spot a bad bargain when I see one. Oh, sure it's all romance and lifestyle and let's-plan-the-perfect-wedding now, but just you wait, lad, just you wait. Once she's got her hooks in you, maybe not right away, but the day wil come, oh yes, the day will come...

Brrr.

Surely I'm not the only one that sees this?

Now Cindy. There was a bit of all right. Whatever happened to her?

Ericaequites · 05/12/2013 04:30

Giving your son a doll is fine, but Barbie is evil. She resembles a sexual fetish.

giraffesCantSledge · 05/12/2013 07:22

no.

toys are for children.

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