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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

depression - aibu?

68 replies

WaffilyVersatile · 03/12/2013 11:31

I have been waiting for 2 weeks for this appt with my gp. Now that I am in the waiting room I have no idea what I will say and just feel a bit silly really. Aibu to want to go hide in the car?

OP posts:

OnePlanOnHouzz · 03/12/2013 11:34

No - but make sure you tell your GP that's how you feel ! That way they can help ! Good luck with it all !

ohfourfoxache · 03/12/2013 11:45

Good luck

I promise that once you get this first hurdle over with it will get easier x

Anydrinkwilldo · 03/12/2013 11:51

I brought dh With me on the day I finally felt able to go to gp. Took one look at her, burst into tears and he had to do the talking. If he wasn't with me I probably would have turned in my heel and ran, so I know how you feel. Gp told me she'd had her suspicions but I had to go to her and say it. It's the hardest thing I've ever done but i needed to do it for myself & my family. Best of luck with it xx

Original poster

WaffilyVersatile · 03/12/2013 12:16

I went in after a 40 minute wait. I told him how low I feel constantly, I'm not sleeping, I worry about everything all the time even though I cannot think of a single actual reason for being anything other than happy with my life and he told me to try and do something to make myself 10% happier. I told him I have been trying to for months but nothing makes a difference. He asked what do I want him to do? I said I didnt know
He said he had tried to explain but as he was already running late I had to go. So now I am sat in the loo trying to stop crying and shaking so I can get out of here without being stared at.

OP posts:

hellsbellsmelons · 03/12/2013 12:19

Wow - what an insensitive arse.
I have no idea what you are going through and would hate to imagine what it must be like.
Get back out to reception and tell them you want to see a different doctor.
You clearly need some help.
Blimey even we can tell this so make sure you get it.
Don't let this one GP put you off.
I really hope you get something sorted out soon.

Anydrinkwilldo · 03/12/2013 12:24

Oh waffily I'm so sorry you managed to get the arse. Can you go to another gp? You've managed to get this far, made the appointment please keep the ball rolling.

Bananagio · 03/12/2013 12:28

ask to see another GP. That is a shocking reaction from him. Therapy and/or meds are 2 options he should be considering for you and he is the bloody GP not you so what this "what do you want me to do business". How about your job Mr GP??! As someone who has witnessed severe depression first hand in our family I would rate the advice of doing something to make yourself 10% happier at this stage on the same level as pull yourself together and other such useless platitudes. If you are still in the loo, try to calm down, go out and speak to the receptionist and ask to see someone else. Good luck. You can get past depression but it needs treating in some shape or form. Let us know how you get on.

BarbarianMum · 03/12/2013 12:40

Go to reception and tell them you need to speak to another doctor now (doesn't matter if you cry when you do this - lots of people cry at the GPs).

Or come back with a partner or a friend to see a different doctor.

So sorry you've had such a rubbish experience. Makes me realise how lucky I've been w GPs for similar.

BarbarianMum · 03/12/2013 12:42

Yes, doing something each day to make yourself feel 10% better is fine as long as it's part of a much bigger overall plan. By itself - no use at all.

ColouringInQueen · 03/12/2013 12:42

ditto barbarianmum please go and see the receptionist and say you need to see a different doctor now. Be upset - you have a right to be - that GP sounds rubbish. Take care

SnowyMouse · 03/12/2013 12:43

Oh dear WV Could you make another appointment and ask about meds and counselling?

KB02 · 03/12/2013 12:43

What an unhelpful GP , I think trying the advice of the previous posters is a good idea (speaking to reception ). Don't worry about others in the waiting room. BLock them out and focus on what you need to do for you.

McRoo · 03/12/2013 12:44

I'm so sorry! I had a very similar experience when trying to discuss my feelings with a GP recently and it was gutting. He made me feel like an idiot.

Don't give up. There are people out there who will listen and who want to help. Do ask to see another doctor. You've taken the first step and broached the subject once. You can do it again.

Sending you lots and lots of support.

tinselkitty · 03/12/2013 12:45

Fucking hell, what a useless twat!

Make another appointment with a different GP. If they ask you what you want them to do tell them you want a referral to talk therapy and to the Community mental health team. Even if you don't those magic words will let them know you know wha you're entitled to and that you mean business.

I know how you are feeling, therefore I know what I'm suggesting is really very hard!

The whole 10% happier thing is crap, it's physically and emotionally impossible when you are depressed, that's part of the illness!

I'm so sorry you've come up against this.

ohfourfoxache · 03/12/2013 12:46

Oh Christ, not what you need.....

Please, please see a different doctor. I know it must have been incredibly hard for you to take the step to book to see someone, you need to talk to someone properly.

Telling someone who is depressed to find a way of being 10% happier is like telling an asthmatic to find it 10% easier to breathe. Sounds like your GP hasn't got a fucking clue. Actually quite for you xx Please don't give up xx

ohfourfoxache · 03/12/2013 12:46

Have you got anyone who could go with you?

LunaticFringe · 03/12/2013 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pudseypie · 03/12/2013 12:54

waffily you can self refer to the psychological services where I am in Kent so you can bypass the gp altogether. Might be worth googling the phone no for your local health authority psychological services and asking of you can self refer for counselling?

I also agree with other posters in asking for another gp. I think you've been really unlucky with that one and hopefully you can see another more sympathetic one.

Rumplestiltskinismyname · 03/12/2013 12:59

Echo what everyone else has said. A week ago I was referred by my gp for anxiety. If I had been fobbed off (as you have) I would be very displeased as it takes a huge amount of bravery to just admit it to effectively a stranger. Go back and complain.

Original poster

WaffilyVersatile · 03/12/2013 13:08

Thank you x

I made it out of the loo but there was a massive queue at reception and I couldn't face standing in it so am home now.

I have never felt as low as I have today. I felt like an utter moron while I was in there. He basically said that the 10% thing was what he did otherwise his job which was clearly more stressful than mine would be too much. I had to restrain myself from saying that tbh the only thing I think would take me from a 3/10 to a 4/10 on his "happy scale" would be shoving his happy scale where the sun don't shine. I cried like a weirdo instead.

I don't have anyone who could go with me. I worked myself up for SO long to get to being able to set foot in there. I am just gutted. I asked him for help with the fact I don't sleep for more than 2 hours a night, he asked how old my children were and I said 12 and 7. He laughed and said I had done the hard part. I said I disagreed, I worry more about them more now than I ever did when they were little. He said that was needless and that I shouldn't expect my children to make me happy, I had to make myself happy. I said I had tried by doing more exercise to wear me out, it doesn't make a difference!

OP posts:

ColouringInQueen · 03/12/2013 13:17

Oh waffily he sounds completely insensitive and just rubbish. As someone upthread said when you're suffering from depression his advice is like telling a diabetic to go on, make some more insulin.

I'd go with you if you're anywhere near me.

Please do try and make an appointment with another doctor - even if its an emergency one - you would be completely justified. I know its hard to do that first one - it took me a year really.... but don't let this idiot delay you starting to get better.

omuwalamulungi · 03/12/2013 13:22

Make another appointment and if possible request to see a female gp, I had trouble with older male doctors when I needed help, just fobbing me off and saying things like "every pregnant woman feels like that"! but the female one I saw listened, empathised and i was immediately referred to the community mental health team who visited me regularly and got me counselling. I usually ask for a female doctor, it's worth a try.

I hope you are ok, please don't be put off, this is serious and should be taken seriously.

omuwalamulungi · 03/12/2013 13:23

Also I'm in the north east if you're nearby and want me to go with you.

Guiltismymaster · 03/12/2013 13:31

How awful for you

Did you go to my GP by any chance? I hate that question 'what would you like me to do about it?' -use your qualification as a GP to help me, surely! Then I was handed a leaflet with phone numbers that I'll never call.

It is NOT you, you are not asking for anything unusual. This is still such a problem in the UK.

Go back for an urgent appt- you don't have to tell the receptionist why, they are not allowed to refuse you to see a Dr. See another GP and explain what happened and, if you can, consider what you think might be appropriate solutions, i.e. whether you would consider medication or not. Have a look at the NHS website to see the options and tell the GP what you found and what you think would help.

Unfortunately, you do have to help them out!

Good luck, you're not alone x

Dawndonnaagain · 03/12/2013 13:31

You poor thing. Go see another doctor, and then, when you are feeling a bit better (you will), write and complain about this moron.
for you.

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