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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

depression - aibu?

68 replies

WaffilyVersatile · 03/12/2013 11:31

I have been waiting for 2 weeks for this appt with my gp. Now that I am in the waiting room I have no idea what I will say and just feel a bit silly really. Aibu to want to go hide in the car?

OP posts:
Bananagio · 03/12/2013 13:34

he sounds like such a prick!! Feel very Angry on your behalf and it amazes me that there are still doctors out there who think mental illness is being a bit pissed off with life. I know you wont feel like it after this knock back but please please try and get to see someone else. You don't need to feel like this, there is help out there.

NewName123 · 03/12/2013 13:36

oh how awful for you.
Yes I would demand to see another GP asap, make a fuss if you have to.
Wouldn't like to generalise but I think a female doctor may be the best thing also.
I am sure you will get a more helpful reaction next time x

LemonBreeland · 03/12/2013 13:38

Wow he sounds awful, and very similar to the GP my friend went to see recently about a similar situation.

Please make another appointment asap.

ohfourfoxache · 03/12/2013 13:38

Jesus fucking Christ what a wanker Angry

Darling you need to see someone. I'm in NW London but work in South London - more than happy to go with you xx

kali110 · 03/12/2013 13:39

Im so sorry this happened to you!what a wanker!sounds like a gp at my surgery. Years ago i saw one who told me i was way too young to have been diagnosed with clinical depression and i should not be on anti depressants. I felt so bad with myself i stopped taking them. It did not go well.
Some gps seem very set in their ways of thinking.dont let this one get to you.
Book another another appointment with another gp please. Write all your thoughts down if its easier. Don't let it go on like this.

CrapBag · 03/12/2013 13:39

Wow. what a prick!!

Is there another doctor you can see? I find when I am looking for an adequate answer, if I don't like what I hear from a doctor, I make another appointment with a different one. It tends to work.

I have just got back from my first counselling session. I am over the moderate line with depression and have high levels of anxiety according to the questionnaire I filled in. It was sooo good to talk to a professional. I saw my doctor and told her outright that I have issues that I want to deal with and I wanted some proper therapy. She gave me a form for self referral to a counselling service and it has gone from there. The waiting list is long. I have been on anti depressants several times in the past and they have always helped.

Please go back and see someone else who will actually listen. The make a complaint to the practice manager. This appalling attitude from a GP is disgusting when someone goes to him for help.

monicalewinski · 03/12/2013 13:40

See another doctor.

Don't be embarrassed about crying either, I've been in full snot nosed tears in the dr's reception a couple of times in the past - so have loads of others, I'm sure (I tell myself I was weeping in a quietly tragic & beautiful way, but I wasn't!).

Well done for making the first step today anyway Flowers

NewName123 · 03/12/2013 14:06

yes you can self refer to the mental health team in our area

AdmiralData · 03/12/2013 14:32

Argh, your gp is a cock OP. I struggled to see my gp about my anxiety at first and considered writing down my problem but eventually managed to explain how I felt through a lot of snot and tears.
If you can muster up all your courage and strength, phone your gp surgery and DEMAND an emergency appointment with a different doctor and do not feel obligated to tell the receptionists why. Tell your gp you want help both from counselling (CBT) and medication. If you are as ballsy as me tell him/her which medication you want (I did a lot of research before hand) It really does help if you can say specifically which help you want. If you're in South Wales I'll come with you :) Good luck op.

treaclesoda · 03/12/2013 14:41

And to think how many people fail to ask for help with their mental health. And then you do pluck up the courage and you get treated like this. Hmm

Shocking response from your GP. I hope you can pluck up the courage to go and see a decent different doctor. You shouldn't need to suffer when there should be help available. Take care of yourself.

kizzie · 03/12/2013 15:07

Just to echo everyone else - make an appointment to see another dr.

Very Angry on your behalf.

Re the 10% thing - I have used that in the past BUT as part of a whole range of treatment. Totally useless advice as part of a quick throw away conversation.

Dont let this put you off getting proper help - he is an idiot Angry

Original poster
WaffilyVersatile · 03/12/2013 21:35

Thank you all so much, I really appreciate all of your support. I am going to call tomorrow and book another appointment.

I have to be honest, I thought I was covering it up ok for my family and this morning was enough to put me off for life but something happened this afternoon which made me realise the severity of it all.

My 12 yr old ds asked to speak to me without dd around. He asked me whether I thought I might be depressed. I asked him why? He said that he was worried about me because I was quite sad and I get angry really easily lately so he had googled and he said that he was sorry if his behaviour lately (namely sneaking around to go on my laptop at 2am.. nothing major) had been the reason for me being depressed. How fucking awful is that Sad

I was really taken aback that he knew. I didn't know what to say really. I just said I was sorry and that yes I think I probably do need help to feel better but it was absolutely NOTHING to do with his behaviour, I told him that I think that part of why I feel down is that I have all the ingredients in my life to feel happy but I don't feel like I should, but yes I probably would find things easier generally if we could help each other with things around the house but nothing more than picking up after himself. I really don't know how I should have handled that.

OP posts:
omuwalamulungi · 03/12/2013 21:40

Oh bless him, I think you handled it very well actually, you were honest and he's old enough to handle a bit of honesty - you reassured him that he was not the cause and gave him a way to feel like he is helping.

Good luck with the next appointment, really truly this is the first step to feeling better. Flowers

twentyten · 03/12/2013 21:45

You poor thing. Your son is a star- you have done a great job with him. You said all the right things. Well done.
Could you write things down for your next appt? What you have said on here? Good luck.

CrohnicallySick · 03/12/2013 21:54

Another tip- ask for a double appointment slot. It means that hopefully the GP will not be so rushed and will take their time and listen to you- and you have time to snivel a bit and compose yourself before going back out there.

I can't believe the insensitivity of that GP. Make a mental note and never go and see him again. There is a GP like that at my doctors' surgery. I have seen him 3 times for different things and each time he has sent me away without a satisfactory answer, when I've been back to see a different GP they've sorted me out straight away- so please do go back.

Remember, the hardest thing is admitting the problem.

ClayDavis · 03/12/2013 21:58

I think you've handled that really well actually. Age appropriate honesty is probably the best policy. If he's astute enough to figure out that you might be depressed, he's astute enough to figure out that you are lying to him.

Everything else I want to say has already been said. My first GP was a complete arse. He could almost have been the GP in your post. I changed GP and my current one is amazingly supportive. I couldn't ask for more. Definitely don't be put off seeking help by this experience.

MummyBeerest · 03/12/2013 22:03

OP I am so sorry to read this. What a dick that Dr is! You shouldn't be embarrassed-he should!

Your children sound like wonderful, caring people. You're obviously a good mum to have such keenly sensitive kids who are so in tune with you and support you in this.

Good luck tomorrow! Flowers

Name7 · 03/12/2013 23:04

You need to ask for an emergency appointment. I am 6 days further on than you and I feel like a different person already. I said that I thought I was depressed, was exhausted constantly even if I had slept well and that I struggled to find enjoyment in day to day stuff. I'm on a waiting list for cbt and I've had fluoxetine (Prozac) since Wed.
Please, please seek help. It's an illness and needs to be treated. Your son sounds wonderful x

pudseypie · 04/12/2013 08:36

You have raised a wonderful son there OP.
Just to add as I didn't say this in my earlier post but I also have anxiety and depression and it took a long time for me to get help and to realise I'd been hiding it. I still felt ashamed for a long time but now I've done a course of 12 cbt counselling sessions on nhs I realise it's nothing to be ashamed of and nothing I could prevent. Admitting that you need some support is a great first step and all of mumsnet are here to hold your hand and offer you support whenever you need itThanks

AllonsySong · 04/12/2013 08:41

Different Dr and def a double appt.

I'm at the other end of your story and am now coming off my tablets. I have, over the last 9 months, become a different person. I am me again and I have perspective, I'm sleeping, I'm happy.

Going to the doctor was the hardest thing but I was lucky that she (

Original poster
WaffilyVersatile · 10/12/2013 10:18

Just a quick update. I finally managed to get another appointment and am waiting anxiously to go in! I will let you know how it goes..

OP posts:
LunaticFringe · 10/12/2013 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rumplestiltskinismyname · 10/12/2013 10:25

Hoping it goes better this time. Good luck x

monicalewinski · 10/12/2013 10:27

Good luck - be honest (brutally honest) and don't be 'too brave to cry'.

Remember - you're there because you want help, you don't have to impress the dr.

CinnabarRed · 10/12/2013 10:28

Thinking of you.