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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Men wearing suits.

41 replies

ItsAWonderfulCervix · 02/12/2013 08:58

Shirt, tie, jacket and trouser type suits.

It appears that that is the only thing a man can wear for work or to look smart but women can wear loads of stuff.

Do men mind not having the choice?

And is it weird that there is only one sort of 'uniform' for chaps?

OP posts:
LifeofPo · 02/12/2013 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ItsAWonderfulCervix · 02/12/2013 09:04

I'm glad I'm not a bloke. I think it's weird.

OP posts:
nipersvest · 02/12/2013 09:20

i suppose it depends how adventurous they are with their suit fabrics, but yes, it's still essentially a suit. when dh has to dress smarter, he goes for smart jeans and a jacket, sometimes a waistcoat too. his suits are all tweed, like this so it's not just a dark grey pinstripe, but dh works in the arts so he can carry wearing suits that are a bit left of field.

Original poster
ItsAWonderfulCervix · 02/12/2013 09:22

still just a suit with a bit of contrasting fabric tied around the neck.

ties are weird too. why? what's the point?

OP posts:
SomethingkindaOod · 02/12/2013 09:23

At DH's workplace the men are fairly adventurous with the shirt colours, it's rubbing off on him now as well. I would love him to wear a waistcoat, it would look lovely on him Smile
I think smart jeans and a nice shirt with a v neck jumper can look just as smart as a suit but suits do tend to be the default position.

samandi · 02/12/2013 09:23

I would've thought that in situations where men are expected to wear suits that women are too.

Most places I've worked the last few years men don't wear suits but a combination of smart trousers, shirts and jumpers (more senior staff at least), senior female staff wearing similar smart clothes.

In many workplaces suits are becoming outdated.

Madamecastafiore · 02/12/2013 09:24

DH wears chinos, shirt and tank or v neck and looks v smart. Most of the men in his office dress like this and only wear suits when have presentations or meetings.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 02/12/2013 09:28

Im a little jealous of the ease of it
A man can wear a black suit with an Identical white short every day for a fortnight and no one notices. If a woman wore the same thing in the same way, unless it was an actual uniform, then people would definitely notice, maybe even comment.

fluffyraggies · 02/12/2013 09:28

''a bit of contrasting fabric tied around the neck ... ties are weird too. why? what's the point?''

ha ha. This sounds like my kind of random thought OP. I'm with you Grin

Why are men only deemed 'dressed' when they have a straight narrow piece of coloured fabric hanging from their neck?

NoComet · 02/12/2013 09:31

I don't get it either, especially in Sumner when a skilled woman can be smart and cool and men still swelter in jackets and ties. There often seems to be a macho competition to see who is last to take them off.

Mind you women can be utterly stupid about only considering high, painful and impractical shoes, smart.

Mainly I think most men really aren't that interested in clothes and they are still conditioned to think that being so isn't masculine.

However, enlightened they like to pretend they are, most men associate worrying to much about their appearance with being gay.

SomethingkindaOod · 02/12/2013 09:31

That's my DS's take on ties as well funnily enough.. "mum what's the point of them?" Is what I usually get!

KissesBreakingWave · 02/12/2013 09:34

It's not just 'a' suit. It's suits. Lots of different subtleties and differences. All kinds of things that differentiate one from another. Things to signal all manner of signals.

NoComet · 02/12/2013 09:36

As for my DH, he considers anything other than one suit, a few ties and a few pairs of black trousers a total waste of geek budget.

He's quite happy to spend money on clothes for me and the DDs, but he'd rather a new motherboard than notice the lining in his shoes is in tatters.

NoComet · 02/12/2013 09:41

As for signals, DH's suit signals two thing. This occasion requires a suit I am wearing a suit, because I'm only comfortable following societies basic rules.

However, it's a bog standard M&S suit because clothes are the most boring thing on the planet and having followed societies basic rules I'm getting back to my computer.

MyNameIsWinkly · 02/12/2013 09:44

Most men I worked with in a smart environment were happy enough having a shave, ironing a shirt and not thinking about it in the mornings. However I did work with a guy who loved fashion and was properly Envy of my nice dresses, tailored skirts, pretty tops etc, all of which were well within the dress code. So yes, some do mind!

redshifter · 02/12/2013 09:45

It's especially frustrating during a hot summer.

I do feel quite envious of female colleagues who on a hot day can wear a light summer blouse, bare legs, no socks etc. while I am stuck in my socks, shoes, trousers, shirt and tie, sweating and very uncomfortable

Artandco · 02/12/2013 09:46

Dh wears smart chinos/ jeans, with shirt, thin wool jumper as standard. They only wear suits for very formal events or meetings with outsiders :) otherwise everyone goes smart casual . His boss wears his moccasin slippers in the office

I think many places that used to all be suits are breaking away from it as an everyday thing.

Original poster
ItsAWonderfulCervix · 02/12/2013 11:04

AAnd another thing.

Girls expected to wear a tie as part of school uniform?????

WT actual???

Ties are weird and male.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 02/12/2013 11:06

Is more choice a better thing, though?

I would of loved to have been able to buy a few pairs if black pants, black flat shoes and the "work", 2 for £15, type shirts that D Perkins do, in various colours.

Then just wear them day in day out and know that no judgement was being passed.

I spend dats just trying on Jeans, there being "Skinny jeans to suit everyone, is an outright lie.

Every partner I have ever had can clothes shop, simply and quickly, but still look good.

I can shop for weeks and just about manage OK.

There are days when I have though about the practical type unisex uniform previously warn by Workers in Japan and would love that, no thought approach to leaving the house.

Think about dressing for formal or special occasions, who would want a simple suit to throw on, there are suits cut for all male body shapes, even in Asda.

Birdsgottafly · 02/12/2013 11:11

"And is it weird that there is only one sort of 'uniform' for chaps?"

In short, No, Women should never if been put under the pressure of having to look decorative.

It takes time and money, yet we are only just catching up, earnings wise.

That's why men have more money for leisure activities.

cantspel · 02/12/2013 11:16

The word suit covers a vast array of choice, the style, the cut, the material, trouser type, shirt type, colour and cut. The tie the material, style colour and the matching of all the different elements of the whole suit package says just as much about a man as a womans choice of outfit. And a man will be just as judged as a woman if he gets it wrong.

Amrapaali · 02/12/2013 11:19

I am really glad men don't have a choice. I am a bit of a sucker for men in well-fitting suits and ties. They look hot in suits! (Fans self)

And just in case, I wasn't entirely clear, I perv after men in suits... Smile

Dwerf · 02/12/2013 11:21

I love a man in a nice suit, and I agree, it's easy when you don't have to decide between different clothes every day. Not that I do, I have my own 'uniform' of jeans and a plain teeshirt.

Ties! I agree, what is the point? Especially as school uniform. Dd2 and dd3 both wear them. Dd2's is a clip on that looks neater but is far too easily lost. Dd3's school introduced proper ties for year 6. Which means faffing around with tying it. Ties for ten year olds, sheesh. (And don't get me started on school blazers wtf, what's wrong with a polo shirt and jumper?)

NoComet · 02/12/2013 14:36

Ties and not being able to wear comfortable black ankle boots, with black trousers to school are DD's bug bears.

Ties are pointless and they tear about a large puddley dead leaf covered site, where flat ankle boots or black trainers would make far more sense than ballet pumps.

kmc1111 · 02/12/2013 15:04

"That's why men have more money for leisure activities."

Not always the case. Because suits are so plain and simple, if you need to impress it can cost a fortune. I can mix and match some cheap bits in with some low-level designer clothes while the men I work with are forking out thousands of pounds for tailored suits and shirts and handmade shoes. They can't skimp on anything because you can't fake a well tailored suit or expensive cufflinks, anyone who notices that kind of thing can spot it a mile away, whereas it's quite easy to make a dress or a pair of heels look like it's something much better than it really is.

On an average day my whole outfit will cost less than the cheapest tie in the room. Even at my DH's office, which is more casual, the men spend serious money on 'smart casual' attire and the women are mostly wearing their latest high street bargains.