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AIBU?

to think this is ridiculous advice....

62 replies

BigRedDragon · 01/12/2013 20:35

Been festering about this, not massively, just niggling but annoyed at health visitor and her unsolicited advice. I went to get dc2 weighed in the week. He is a big baby at nearly 28lbs at 6mths. She asked how often he fed overnight and I replied every 3 hours ish but as we co-sleep it wasn't a huge problem. She then went onto tell me she saw me feeding him whilst waiting and I shouldn't make so much eye contact or stroke his cheek whilst feeding him as I'm teaching him feeding is more than nourishment, he'll then feed to get attention. I reassured her that he got plenty of interaction and attention regardless of feeding and left.
Just been niggling me, I couldn't help but picture a mother taking this advice and ignoring her baby. I firstly found this annoying as I didn't ask for advice, I feed on demand happily, but I really found it the most ridiculous advice going, and sad in so many ways!

OP posts:

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tunnocksteacake · 01/12/2013 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThoughtsPlease · 01/12/2013 21:00

X post with dirty completely agree, worked with my 3DC too.

Shallistopnow · 01/12/2013 21:01

So what if he does feed every 3 hours?! As long as OP is happy with the set-up. I suppose the dumb HV thought starting solids would help?

puntasticusername · 01/12/2013 21:01

FWIW I agree that there is probably no physical need for a six month old baby to be feeding three hourly at night - or rather, that if that was something you wanted to change, then you probably could - but it sounds as if you're totally happy with it and it's working fine for baby, so I fail to see why it is an issue.

Did she breathe the words "rod for your own back" by any chance...?

valiumredhead · 01/12/2013 21:02

Would she say the same about a bottle fed baby?

Complain!

Catnap26 · 01/12/2013 21:03

Agree with dirty dancing.i think she may have had good intentions but perhaps it came out wrong.

SaucyJack · 01/12/2013 21:03

Strange advice, but 2st at under six months isn't normal is it? Shirley something wrong somewhere?

Idespair · 01/12/2013 21:06

Had a HV tell me the same years ago when ds was a baby. Was looking at him and stroking his head/face whilst feeding. Ds enjoying lovely cuddle. I just waited until the silly cow left and carried on how me and ds wanted to.

LambinsideaDuckinsideaTrout · 01/12/2013 21:07

It was probably the same HV idespair...

BigRedDragon · 01/12/2013 21:08

He is a very long, big, bonny baby. She didn't specify when she was talking about re. Feeds, just used the example of me feeding in the waiting area which I interpreted as a comment about how I feed all the time. Actually at night he pretty much dream feeds. I'm not saying 3 hourly is ideal but equally I only have to latch him on and he feeds for 15mins and straight back to proper sleep without even really waking so I don't complain too much either. My ds1 was the same, sonin my mind this is what I know and expect. He is now a tall, lanky 3 year old.

OP posts:

rabbitlady · 01/12/2013 21:10

she's very much in error so complain. you are doing exactly the right thing, as you already know.

BigRedDragon · 01/12/2013 21:10

Really saucy? I genuinely dont worry. Both dh and I tall, ds1 was the same and he's ebf. He is just a big baby, he mets all milestones and is very healthy. His length is off the chart as well as weight.

OP posts:

trashcanjunkie · 01/12/2013 21:17

mine (singleton then twins) each had five bellies. literally. ebf most of the first year, then blw. All massive babies. Now all tall gangly whippet people. Health Visitor needs re-educating. Stupid, ignorant, thick bint.

DirtyDancingCleanLiving · 01/12/2013 21:18

Would she say the same about a bottle fed baby?

Complain!

Er...I was already doing it anyway (at night time...which is what I think this hv was referring to) but my hv suggested this to me and my bottle fed baby.

It can be done regardless of feeding method.

zatyaballerina · 01/12/2013 21:19

If it's not disrupting your sleep then I don't see a problem with it but it sounds like she was giving you advice to cut down on night feeds. Is he very fat? 28lbs is huge for a six month old, how tall is he? If he is massively overweight (despite being tall), then cutting down would be advisable.

DirtyDancingCleanLiving · 01/12/2013 21:26

Out of interest I just grabbed ds1s red book.

Ds1 was a huge baby. He was very, very tall (above 98th centile from birth) but was however very fat, up until about 10 months. Looking at pictures of him now shocks me, he was like a little bowling ball, with rolls and everything.

At 29 weeks he was 23lbs.

If your 6 month old is 28lbs then to be frank, that is massive and no wonder the hv is trying to advise to reduce feeds.

nocheeseinhouse · 01/12/2013 21:28

Oh, I got told all sorts of shit by HVs. I quickly learned to ignore, and that breastfeeding did appear to confuse them. I'm surprised she didn't go apoplectic at co-sleeping, mind always did. At about 9 months, I needed more sleep, so I asked for advice about weaning at night. She then gave advice on replacing feeds with food during the day ('try babyrice' 'I'm doing BLW' 'Oh... well, babyrice works.') and wrote in the red book 'going to try and wean from milk feeds in the day.' No, no I am most certainly not! Day feeds= good, I want SLEEP!

Complaining will do little good, as I think lots of them firmly believe this shit. No point arguing with fools. (I also know some excellent HVs, they are so variable.)

Only1scoop · 01/12/2013 21:30

You don't have to (and obviously don't wish to) take her advice....hv seem to really differ in opinion and advice I find.

DianaOfThemyscira · 01/12/2013 21:32

She sounds like a complete tool.
Complain.
Breastfeeding is about so much more than belly filling, and she of all people should know, appreciate, and encourage!

2Tiredtocare · 01/12/2013 21:40

28lbs at 6 months is very big, was DD1 of similar weight at that age? If so then you have your answer, ignore

NoIHaventHadTheBabyYet · 01/12/2013 21:43

I have had six children, my hv asked me if I knew how to make bottles up, I said yes I have done them for all six children, she then gave me a leaflet about it and read it to me.
I was pissed off but like others have said smile and nod
Enjoy your baby as much as you can, in a few years he will be too busy with friends, music or xbox!

Quoteunquote · 01/12/2013 21:44

He is a big baby at nearly 28lbs at 6mths.

she would of had a heart attack at the size of mine,

Ignore she is clearly inexperienced.

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BigRedDragon · 01/12/2013 21:45

I know he is huge, 27.8lbs to be exact, and 6.5 mths so not quite so bad but yes ds1 followed pretty much exact same growth chart as did my dh, as did 2 of ds' s cousins. I gave myself hell about the size of ds1, I was constantly worrying about it, at 1yr he was 36lbs, now ds1 is 39lbs so I just think its how they grow. I refuse to get as stressed about his growth rate as I did with ds1.

OP posts:

LambinsideaDuckinsideaTrout · 01/12/2013 22:07

No exclusively breastfed baby should ever be put on a 'diet'.

Bad, bad advice.

DirtyDancingCleanLiving · 01/12/2013 22:14

No one's talking about a diet.

Milk is the most calorific food a baby has.

For a 6 month baby who is just about weaning age, it's not 'bad advice' to suggest cutting down on milk, especially if they are carrying a bit too much weight.

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