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Original poster

To be so sick of constant worrying

28 replies

hippoherostandinghere · 01/12/2013 20:14

and wish I just could not give a flying fuck about anything.

I am feeling so sick of myself right now. I'm sick of constantly worrying about everything and everyone. I worry about my children. If they're happy, if I'm doing everything right, if they're developing at the right rate. My Ds is 4 and shy and quiet and so so sensitive. He has started p1 this sept and I worry about him settling in constantly. I'm even worrying that he's not getting the whole learning to read business even though he's only 2 weeks into reading books.

I worry about my family. I worry about what people think of me. I worry that I might say something to offend someone.

Oh I am so tired and just want to jot give a damn but I just can'tSad

OP posts:
phantomnamechanger · 01/12/2013 20:17

I really think you should speak to your GP, wide ranging anxiety can be a sign of depression.

Do you have a DP, someone to share the load with and chat to, chill out with?

Original poster
hippoherostandinghere · 01/12/2013 20:29

I have a DH. He hasn't a care in the world. I tell what is bothering me but he normally sees it for the minor event that it is. I just wish I didn't have to over think every minor thing. It's exhausting.

OP posts:
phantomnamechanger · 01/12/2013 20:32

Does it annoy him? Does he get frustrated, do you row about it?

I repeat, I really do think you should speak to GP about this. It is not normal or healthy to overanalyse everything and worry about everything.

Do you get me time/couple time? This is important - an evening off can undo a week of stress.

phantomnamechanger · 01/12/2013 20:34

does this go in cycles, either monthly (hormone/PMT related) or seasonal (SAD syndrome)?

Spatsky · 01/12/2013 20:37

Hippo I a exactly like this too. And my husband doesn't understand, he sometimes laughs or eye rolls when explain my worries which just makes me ot wants share them and bottle things up.

I have been very seriously considering seeing the go about anxiety lately and would recommend you do the same. I don't think this will change by just trying to think differently without help. I have tried this over and over but it just doesn't happen.

Original poster
hippoherostandinghere · 01/12/2013 20:39

It doesn't annoy him too much he just tells me not to he silly or its not worth worrying about. He is working very long hours at the moment and I work as well so we don't get a lot of time together at the moment. But my kids are great at going to bed so I do really enjoying my evenings if I'm not working.

I'm not sure about cycles I have always felt like this and think it is very deep routed from childhood I will try and speak to the gp. Thanks for you're comments.

OP posts:
Original poster
hippoherostandinghere · 01/12/2013 20:40

Spatsky it really is exhausting.

OP posts:
MillyStar · 01/12/2013 20:40

I'm in the same boat ladies I have terrible health anxiety aswell I always think I'm going to get cancer :(

I went to gp who gave me antidepressants but they made me ill so I stopped them after 5 days, I think I need to go back for some different ones

It's so horrible and what gets me is I'm the happiest, most settled I've ever been and my life is the calmest it's ever been and I was always fine in the bad times x

Belize · 01/12/2013 20:41

I'm like that but just accept it's the way I am to be honest.

I am anxious and worry about everything - my DH does not.

It is horrible and exhausting, keeps me slim though Confused.

Belugagrad · 01/12/2013 20:58

Hippo I am the same- I find thins to worry about I think! I fight anxiety everyday and try and live in the moment as much as possible. It's hard. I'm trying yoga to help, run most days and just keep trying not to worry over petty things. I'm sick of it too .

jeanmiguelfangio · 01/12/2013 21:01

I'm a worrier too, drives me mad, I am on some medication as it got a lot worse after having my baby and I got PND. It's getting better, but I do think I will just always be a worrier.
Sometimes I'd just like to get off the carousel and stop but it never happens. I'm happy with a good nights sleep now an again
See your GP, it helped me as they gave me some anti-anxiety medication (very low dose) and that does help take the edge off

ssd · 01/12/2013 21:02

I worry about worrying too much Grin, its just the way we're made.

dh doesn't worry either...must be great!

Perfectlypurple · 01/12/2013 21:03

Speak to your GP. I eventually did after I was just so exhausted. I worry constantly. For me it's 'what ifs'. I spend so much time worrying about what might happen or could have happened - even after the event! As a result I didn't sleep and went to the doctor and burst into tears when he asked what was wrong. I have generalised anxiety disorder. I will never get rid of it but I have ways to cope now. Dont underestimate the tiredness. I still don't sleep great but I do a bit better and it really helps cope with it.

I would go to doctors sooner rather than later. It was the best thing I could have done.

scundered · 01/12/2013 21:04

Hi. Sorry to hear you are feeling this way it's really horrible I know. I have had this pretty much all my life and I have tried almost everything the one thing I have found that has helped me massively is praying. It gives me great comfort

Original poster
hippoherostandinghere · 01/12/2013 21:23

Sorry to hear about all the fellow worriers. It must be so lovely just to breeze through life without a care in the world. I will look into coping methods and will try and see my gp.

OP posts:
Belize · 01/12/2013 21:33

I saw a therapist who diagnosed GAD (general anxiety disorder) too.

I do that re-running of things as well, even if they turned out ok I visualise them not being ok, what's that all about!

I get so worked up over stuff and usually the worst doesn't happen (just typing that makes me anxious though...) perhaps I need to see a GP too!

It's horrible though Sad.

Perfectlypurple · 01/12/2013 21:35

I had CBT. It wasn't a cure but it helped a little. I also have tablets that relax me. They are not sleeping tablets but they help me switch my mind off so I get more sleep. I still sleep less than most people but I sleep more than I used to. When trying to explain the total exhaustion I say that when people have a bit of a boozy late night and go to work the next day feeling exhausted - thats how I feel all the time. It is hard for people to understand how tiredness can effect you.

Allegrogirl · 01/12/2013 21:36

I am like this too, have been for as long as I can remember. I could have written your OP. It was only on my 30's after the DCs were born I was aware that anxiety is an actual 'thing'.

I have had two 6 week courses of CBT through my work occ health that really helped but I could do with more. I don't feel I can give up my precious time with the DCs to get further help. The first counseller I saw suggested allocating a period of time each day to allow myself a good worry, and to write it all down. It helped.

I have been worrying for so many years that I can imagine my life without it. I get really panicky if I can't think of something to worry about as I think I must have forgotten something. DH is also a worrier. It's good that he understands but not so good as we tag team each other with anxiety some days.

I don't think you need to be depressed to be anxious. My HV did the PND score with me and I was not depressed but scored very high for anxiety. I'm a happy person really but get so tired of my brain running so many thoughts at once.

Perfectlypurple · 01/12/2013 21:37

belize that's what I do. Everything is fine but I still think what if it hasn't been. I would love to just breeze through life without a care in the world.

Allegrogirl · 01/12/2013 21:41

Everything is fine but I still think what if it hasn't been.

This.

I still dwell on stuff from DD's birth and first few months and that was 6 years ago. A shaky start with BF and undiagnosed reflux. She's an huge chunk of a 6 year old now but I still run through my mind how I could and should have dealt with it better. Realistically I did everything I could but my mind still won't let it go. I'm like this about every bloody aspect of my life. So tiring.

Belize · 01/12/2013 22:11

I hate well meaning friends who tell you not to worry as it won't make any difference - they just don't get that we don't choose to feel like this.

Actually though a therapist might say that we do choose to feel like this and that we could change if we wanted to. I feel I almost get comfort from worrying as it is familiar if that makes sense? To not worry is scary as it is a road less travelled.

Perfectlypurple · 01/12/2013 22:23

Its awful when people do that. If I could stop the worry I would. I know my worry is kind of irrational but bad things happen every day. A split second can change your life. Thats why I worry I think. Its the lack of control and I am a bit of a control freak!

Balaboosta · 02/12/2013 00:02

whatmeditationreallyis.com/

Try this. Works for me. I've just finished a year-long course.

Iworrymyselftosleep · 02/12/2013 00:19

I am so tired from worrying. I feel crushed. Inside there's a tiny frantic me - an avatar if you like - who's constantly constantly watching for things to pick over and fret about. The me that's in control and talking to, say, the random person on the bus or what have you thinks everything's ok and then I go and sit quietly and I start to fret.

I do think its depression linked - possibly another way of handling emotion. There's a truism that unexpressed anger compresses into depression and I kinda feel that sometimes. I read recently that anxiety is a way of covering up feelings you don't want to have. Like its easier to worry about (eg) your dc than face up to some feelings that the issue actually generates. Does that make sense? Anxiety could be a way of deflecting big emotion. It's a familiar and almost safe habit.

Blush it made sense to me - I have all these things whirling in my head and no one to tell them to. DP just wouldn't understand; I can't imagine him wanting to enough to try either Sad - it would be so inconvenient for him.

Belize · 02/12/2013 12:03

I think they just cannot comprehend why we would worry about everything and anything to be honest Iworrymyselftosleep.

My latest is asteroids hitting the planet Hmm. I mean I will worry about looking pasty in the mirror and next minute it's the end of the world! There is no end of material to fret about sadly.