To put on my knight's outfit and attack my DM with a sword because she said 4 is old enough to wipe my own bottom?

[BoffinMum]

I have a good arrangement with my DM, DF, DSis, DBs and indeed any other random people in the locality. I do a poo, they wipe me very nicely while I do a perfectly executed downward dog yoga position in the bathroom as my helpful contribution to the process. So far this has worked well as a hygiene strategy.

Only today things changed.

My DM offered instruction in how to rip off loo paper, how to fold loo paper, and how to reach my arm behind so I can wipe my own bottom. Then she told me to get on with it.

I was disgusted.

Poo is smelly and stinky, I told her, so this should be her job. My arms are too short.

She just laughed and told me to get on with it again.

I was not having that, so I put my entire foam knight's outfit on, got on my hobbyhorse and went into the sitting room armed with my foam sword to teach her a lesson. I was very cross. I rubbed my sword on her neck quite hard.

She just laughed and told me my bottom slaves were not going to do this for me any more. Sword or no sword.

Any amount of crying and protesting failed to work. I am concerned this neglect will continue. WWYD? WIBU?

[Onetraumaatatimeplease]

Now then, you just need to make it fun for them. When I invite me mum to wipe me arse I use a bit of the old reverse psych, try "if I wipe my own bum then why are we paying for your keep?" Then comes the fun, offer a plop by plop description and then invite them over to have a look and then you can discuss shapes, formations, colours etc. EVERYDAY is a school day in my house.

[BoffinMum]

At joiner!