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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU / WWYD - taking child out of school for a day so they can attend a family event

46 replies

OrlandoWoolf · 01/12/2013 09:39

DS has good attendance record. Family event so need to take a Friday off to get to it as a long way to travel.

Chances are it won't be authorised. It might be but who knows with the current climate

AIBU to take him anyway and just ring school on day to tell him we're off?

WWYD?

OP posts:
babywipesaremagic · 01/12/2013 17:20

If you are going to take him and feel it is important enough to miss school just be honest with the HT. Don't lie and say dc is ill when they aren't, that sends them the message that lying is ok plus puts them in an awkward position if they slip up (which they probably will) and the school will remember that you lied about this every time they are late/absent in future.

Piddlepuddle · 01/12/2013 17:22

Our headteacher gave the specific example of granny's 100th birthday as being "exceptional" in his letter last week.

lljkk · 01/12/2013 17:32

Not every LA fines, and nobody is too sure what fines are imposed for what.
I would risk it.

I would love to hear from people who have been fined & for what.

My grandmother's 90th birthday is in 2015.

OddFodd · 01/12/2013 17:58

Our HT grudgingly conceded that DS could have the day off to attend his grandmother's funeral but wouldn't authorise my friend taking her DD out for the day to attend a wedding at which she was a bridesmaid! Shock

I'd apply but just take it whatever she says

OldDaddy · 02/12/2013 16:28

Pfft. It's ridiculous. My dad took me and my brother out of school one day to go to an AC/DC concert. Never did us any harm. Although laughably the head said he heartily disapproved of "devils music". Tell them it is happening and do it. Doesn't do the kids any harm when it snows and they get a day off. (or when teachers strike)

ilovesmurfs · 02/12/2013 16:35

Just notify them of when you are going and wy and go.

My three school aged boys and five days off this term for a holiday! And no fine.

In our LA the attendance officer checks attendance every half term and you are flagged up if you go below a certain amount, the ht didtn think they would notice but assured me he would show the evidence we had provided (letter from employer and hospital letter) and he would Arie that we shouldn't be fined, kids have otherwise good attendance, are never let, as a family we have a good attitude to education etc.

It may depend on the LA but our ht has to agree with the attendance officer re who gets referred for fines.

OrlandoWoolf · 04/12/2013 09:51

Well the form's in today. States clearly that family celebrations will not be authorised. Also looks at 12 month absence history - think he was ill for a bit.

We're off anyway. Mentions something about each parent being issued with a fine for each child so 2 parents, 2 children equals 4 fines.

Is the fine £60 per day per child per parent?

OP posts:
Justforlaughs · 04/12/2013 09:59

Just a thought, could he leave at lunch time?

Scholes34 · 04/12/2013 11:26

Be honest with the school and if they fine you, sell your story to the Daily Mail

OrlandoWoolf · 04/12/2013 11:28

Should I be practising my sad face?

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Maryz · 04/12/2013 11:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrlandoWoolf · 04/12/2013 11:41

I don't believe in lying. Plus it's really cheap first thing.

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Mystuff · 04/12/2013 11:44

I would take my dc out of school for a family event.
There is more to nurturing children than formal education.
What about the benefits he will get from seeing his family?

I despair at people who prioritise school over absolutely everything.

Purplehulk · 04/12/2013 11:54

Well as my yr6 DD spends most of Friday in Golden time and watching a DVD, I'd have no problem taking her out for a family celebration at the other end of the country. Enjoy yourselves!

forceslover · 04/12/2013 12:38

I have to take my child out of school soon for family reasons, I am going to collect him just after pm registration, is that an option?

claraschu · 04/12/2013 12:51

I would lie. Knowing when and how to lie is an important life skill. It's like the argument over alcohol; is it better for you never to drink in front of your children? never give them a taste of champagne at a wedding? or to model responsible, occasional drinking, and let them try it at a sensible time.

I believe the system is forcing families to lie when they shouldn't have to, and that children can understand this. It may even help them to distinguish between useful lying (such as this situation), and harmful lying (lying to your doctor, lying to your reasonable parents about where you are).

claraschu · 04/12/2013 12:52

As Dr House says: "Everybody lies".

TattyDevine · 04/12/2013 12:59

I managed to get my son off for 4 days for travel to Australia by saying we were travelling there to scatter my dead grandmas ashes. We are scattering her ashes by the way, but I made sure I didn't use the word "holiday" on the form and it was all about the ashes baby. (I hope this holiday isn't all about the ashes by the way - if it is, I hope Australia win). No really, we are scattering her ashes and raising a glass of something bubbly having planted her favourite native Australian tree so there will be a proper ceremonial element to it.

My head teacher will authorise one off family celebrations (like 1 day). She won't authorise cheap sun holidays, but she wont fine either. And she runs a tight ship. I mean, a seriously tight ship she's fucking scary

This is all under the new (post July 2013) rules btw

WhataSook · 04/12/2013 13:24

Like Tatty I will need to travel to Australia and would like to sometimes do it not in the middle of an Aussie winter! This rule is going to give me grief I can see already (DD hasn't even started school!)

I just don't understand how this rule and fines got through, it is utter bollocks.

greenfolder · 04/12/2013 14:35

I would just phone them in sick. I don't believe in lying either but you learn. If it was just going to be unauthorised, ok but if there is a risk of a fine and my dc had perfect attendance I would happily send a note on the monday saying dc were under the weather. Worst case scenario ds tells teacher all about his lovely party.

OrlandoWoolf · 12/12/2013 13:25

So the headteacher has not authorised it -as it's a family even and you can't authorise those.

We're going anyway - we've had 2 family funerals in a month so it would actually be nice to go to a fun event.

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