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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU / WWYD - taking child out of school for a day so they can attend a family event

46 replies

OrlandoWoolf · 01/12/2013 09:39

DS has good attendance record. Family event so need to take a Friday off to get to it as a long way to travel.

Chances are it won't be authorised. It might be but who knows with the current climate

AIBU to take him anyway and just ring school on day to tell him we're off?

WWYD?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 01/12/2013 10:00

Age?

If he's 15 and he's in the middle of his mock gcse's then it might be a problem Wink

notapizzaeater · 01/12/2013 10:02

Agree depends on age, why could you not pick up at school and start travelling then ?

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 01/12/2013 10:02

DS is 8. It's a 5 hr train ride - probably 6.

OP posts:
TheGreatWizardQuiQuaeQuod · 01/12/2013 10:05

at 8 and for an important family event, he'd have d&v Grin

NurseRoscoe · 01/12/2013 10:44

YANBU. At work it's possible to book annual leave for things like this, family events don't always fall in school holidays!

He won't miss any more by attending this than he would if he was poorly for the day. As long as it's not a regular thing then it's fine IMO. I do think you should stress to him though that it's being allowed as a special one off occasion for this family event and won't be done over any little thing, the amount of children I've met who's parents think they are entitled to their birthday off school just because it's their birthday is unbelievable!

DameDeepRedBetty · 01/12/2013 10:47

Use D&V only if you're certain he won't blow the cover story by talking about it in front of teachers at school the week after, and be aware how easy it is for photos to creep around FB.

Nanny0gg · 01/12/2013 10:58

How important a family event?

Is it just before Christmas?

What will he miss?

Christelle2207 · 01/12/2013 11:06

I would seek permission and even if declined go anyway.

SimplyRedHead · 01/12/2013 11:11

My Grandad's funeral will be coming up soon and I plan to take my Yr2 child out of school for a couple of days because the whole family will be there and it's a 7-8 hour drive away.

I think it's perfectly fine. I will tell her teacher directly and if necessary, then tell the head.

When she was a bridesmaid for my sister (half a day travel away) I told the teacher she'd miss the Friday her teacher just marked her down as 'family something or other' (can't remember the exact words) and we didn't need to ask the head.

I'd speak directly to the class teacher and see what he/she says.

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 01/12/2013 11:51

After Christmas. It's a milestone birthday party. All the family + extended family will be there.

I will take him anyway. 1 day of school in year 4 is not the end of the world.

OP posts:
Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 01/12/2013 11:53

off - not of Grin

OP posts:
PesterPower · 01/12/2013 11:55

I'd do it regardless of what they say tbh.

I really hate that schools don't take into account how much kids can get from family days like this. Obviously they need to keep a check on attendance but I think children learn a lot about relationships etc from things like this and that is just as important as formal education.

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 01/12/2013 11:57

What really gets me is schools I work in have a real issue with attendance. Not holiday issues but children who just don't turn up.

OP posts:
zatyaballerina · 01/12/2013 12:15

I don't see a problem with it, a rare family get together is more important than one school day.

Rockinhippy · 01/12/2013 12:18

Just be honest, but expect the HT not to be able to sign it off anyway, doesn't mean they won't understand, just that they can't do it because of new rulings,

My DDs attendance isn't good for health reasons, but having to keep her off for an important Friday wedding - our HT was lovely about it, but can't sign it off - just be honest

ilovesooty · 01/12/2013 12:28

Well of course you could book annual leave from work..
unless you're a teacher or TA. Why do you need a whole day off to travel?

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 01/12/2013 12:31

Because it's 350 miles away.

OP posts:
Hassled · 01/12/2013 12:32

I think tell the school the truth, just so you're not called by them wondering where Little Jimmy is on the day - just to be polite really. It won't be authorised because the HT can't authorise it, but one day's unauthorised in an otherwise good attendance record won't be any sort of a deal.

NynaevesSister · 01/12/2013 12:56

Except that you get fined. £60 per parent per child.

maddy68 · 01/12/2013 13:04

I'm a teacher. I would just say he's ill. :)

WorrySighWorrySigh · 01/12/2013 13:06

I thought that the whole getting fined was something which ultimately the LA administered. I thought that there were only fines if there was a genuine attendance problem.

Hassled · 01/12/2013 13:11

Referring a child/family to the LA for the penalty process is at the headteacher's discretion, up to a point. I can't imagine a HT would refer for 1 day.

ilovesooty · 01/12/2013 13:23

If you want the day out just take him. I doubt if the HT will refer it to the LA for a one day family event.
I don't believe in lying and saying he's ill.

Original poster
OrlandoWoolf · 01/12/2013 13:27

Exactly. I don't believe in lying either as I think it sets a bad precedent.

OP posts:
NynaevesSister · 01/12/2013 13:28

Unauthorised attendance goes straight to the LA and they fine you. The HT only has the choice of authorising leave in exceptional circumstances or not. Maybe it varies between LAs but that is how it is with ours.

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