To throw a pack of wet wipes at my husband?

[appletarts]

Well I didn't actually throw them at him! they didn't hit him! I threw them into the room past him! not even aiming at him! I feel the need to say that! I am so frustrated. Can you please tell me would you be wound up with this? Today we were having homemade pizzas and we always have mushroom, DS has food allergies so has to have lots of veg as no cheese. So DH does usual shop this morning and mushrooms are on the list but he comes home without them, I don't make any fuss, no big deal. So he makes pizzas (this is the only meal he makes each week, saturday morning) while I clean upstairs. Turns out he has put one of the pizzas on a pizza tray with holes flat on the bottom of the (not so clean) oven, not on a rack, flat on the bottom of the oven. Plus on DS pizza he has only put courgette and pepper, no other veg. So now I'm frigging irritated because the pizza for DS looks very sorry for itself and our pizza is flat on bottom of grubby oven. STILL I bite my tongue. Then he hoovers downstairs for 15 minutes to do a bad job and then when I come back down the sodding pizzas are burnt, he'll eat them but they're crap and burnt. I blew up and threw a pack of wet wipes at him and he's stormed out leaving DS upset not knowing where he's gone. GRRR He regularly does small bodge ups like this and I'm losing patience fast. Would you be pissed off? I've now spent 20 mins cleaning up kitchen after him and whole lot went in bin and I had to make another lunch which is all taking time away from reading I'm meant to be doing for my degree - ARSE>

Your poor DH :( I would imagine that if you had posted that your DH had thrown baby wipes "in your general direction" then you would be advised to leave the bastard

YABU

Please don't be like this with your children - you know, the nothing quite good enough thing, it will crush their self esteem

Agree with lem esp with the children bit...

YABU

If you don't like what he did, do it your fucking self.

Give the guy a break. He tried. He thought he was doing it the right way.

And all you can do is nickpick and criticise because he didn't do it exactly-the-way-you-would have-done.

No one is perfect. Instead of being an arse, perhaps help him. You won;t encourage him to do something by being a bitch.

YABU

I don't think I should say any more than that. Maybe if he is so useless you could let him find someone who appreciates him

Oh for God's sake, what is wrong with these posters. OP YANBU. It is infuriating to have to deal with an incompetent day in, day out. I don't know the answer however.

There clearly more to it than some burnt pizza

If he forgets obvious things all the time Are you not worried about his health!

I bloody would be if it was my husband.Get the poor guy to go to the DR incase there's something serious going on he need's help with.

YABU and if this were the other way round, you'd be getting a much worse flaming.

Infuriating to live with an incompetent person, maybe, yes. But NOT acceptable to throw stuff in anger.

Absolutely true that if the genders were reversed, everyone would be yelling LTabusiveB

Wow, what's going on there then apple? How can he forget to check something so serious as food for your DS allergies?

What's he like when you try to talk about it?

Is it more than you'd normally expect? Enough to talk to someone about what's going on? Like something medical?

Because otherwise that'd leave him doing it on purpose, or him doing it because he can't be arsed to think for himself.

Zigzag it's so infuriating! He just says oh it's no big deal, I forgot. I tell him these things all add up to being a big deal but he doesn't seem to get it. It's things that we have been doing since we had kids that he'll forget too, like we always put the pjs on the same radiator for past 3 years but he'll ask me every night where are the pjs and i say on the radiator but after 3 frigging years why is he still asking me?! He has said before that he thinks raising kids is women's work but then he'll say he didn't mean it, he said it cos he was angry or whatever, but sometimes I wonder. He's fine if I give him a job to do and practically write down what to do but I refuse to live like that, he's a grown man for goodness sake.

Btw I know iabu to have thrown wet wipes.

I haven't rtft but yes yabu to throw anything at someone, whether or not it hits them. Thoroughly disrespectful of you to get worked up about something so petty as missing mushrooms, especially as this man has done shopping, cooking and hoovering.

Yabu
And clean your oven

The pyjama thing can't be him doing it on purpose, surely not. Maybe with some of the other things, but there must be something going on for him to be still asking you where they are after 3 years!

Unless it's a routine/OCD thing that he's compelled to ask you and he thinks something will happen if he doesn't?

What happens if you don't tell him? Does he wander round looking for them?

Could it be a memory thing do you think? Or a lack of organisational goings on in his head?

It really depends on whether you think it's intentional or not as to whether he can do anything about it.

Does how he was brought up shed any light on it?

I think you are both being unreasonable OP. He walked out over this?
The pizza was on a tray and why is the base of the oven filthy? If this is a big problem for you as a couple, then you are very fortunate couple,

This sounds exactly like my DH, and my god do I feel your pain! Its like he uses my brain to store all the boring day to day stuff leaving his free to think about his hobbies etc. My stock response to the questions about where we keep the whatsit that's been kept in the same place for ever is "I told you". Then I childishly avoid telling him and make him guess or give him cryptic clues. Tbh, you just have to quit being his 'answer robot 'and make him use his brain again.

Ok, having read the updates, I still think yabu, but for totally different reasons now. You HAVE to change this. You really can't go on being his parent and getting cross when he screws up. He needs to man up big time. Would counselling help you discuss some of these frustrations in a healthier way than throwing things?

""You give him a job"^???

You sound like his mother! Are either of you getting anything out of this marriage?

Very earth motherly I'm sure.

You have my sympathy, OP. you want to feel thT he is capable of looking after you a bit. but hes not. it sounds like you are expecting more of your dh than he is able to give. He sounds a bit incompetent. But if he's trying to do stuff you need to cut him some slack. A compassion-based mediation practice such as loving kindness would help you I suggest.

Honestly? I haven't a fucking clue but you seem a bit bonkers...

Yanbu, personally I am sick of my DP constantly doing a bad job of tasks, coming home without things I've asked him to pick up, sending hundreds of texts asking how to do each step of dinner etc.

YABU, as a PP has said if someone said their DH had done this there would be lots of concern for your safety and rightly so.

Do you think that it's is ok because you are a woman?