Right, that's it settled - me, the dcs and any mnetter who fancies it, christmas dinner at the all you can eat 
imperialblether It's a bit difficult for me on christmas day, as I have an elder dc who lives away from home. He's in the clutches of my dysfunctional abusive family, and since he left my house about three years ago, I have tried to re-invent the day for me and the younger boys. The whole day felt like it would be very bleak with just me and the dts, with no other family all day long. I felt like they would have a nicer day if they could be with their other siblings at their daddies and stepmum who's lovely and adores them (they also have a two year old 'brother from another mother' and a new baby, plus grandparents and stepgrandparents who make a huge fuss) I could offer me - and not even cheery happy me. The pretence of 'being ok' when I didn't have all of my kids with me feels like too much to pull off. Truth be told, when the eldest left, I felt I didn't ever want to have christmas again, as I was dying inside with him gone, and the thought of christmas without him is quite awful. So instead, I took control of the situation, and decided to have 'our' christmas a day early - loads of people do that anyway in europe. We treat it exactly like proper christmas day, except of course we can go to the all you can eat place..... That's really exciting for the kids, and then I pack them off to daddies. I spend christmas day alone - Dp and I have only been together a couple of years, and don't live together yet. He sleeps at his mothers on christmas eve and she does the whole stockings and glitter thing at hers with a full christmas dinner for them and his db and dsil. I would totally be welcome there, but I would be terrified of bursting into tears at the dinner table. I can't take the pressure of having to be happy on that day. I'm totally fine if I'm home alone, where I can cry if I want to. Most years I don't, but it is a quiet day of reflection for me, and I am grateful for all the things I do have. Lots of you guys have a really hard work day, and I get to pretty much eat what I want, do as I want, watch what I like on telly, tart round in pj's all day and then dp will join me in the evening and we have our christmas on boxing day. Relations with eldest dc are better than ever this year, but he has his own plans for christmas that don't involve me - he's 17 and basically wants to get wrecked 
but I can't control that situation, I'm still building bridges with him. My perfect christmas with all my dcs may happen one day in the future though, so fingers crossed eh?