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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this is a bit shit actually?

51 replies

AliBean · 28/11/2013 19:24

So DS1 was sick this morning and couldn't go to preschool so I text DS2's childminder (after trying to phone but no answer) to say I was keeping him home as I couldn't get DS2 to her (20 minute drive away) without loading puking DS1 into the car too...the response is ah sorry for you...I will have to charge as it's in the contract. Only don't charge if DS2 is ill or if I (cm) is ill.
Fair enough but two weeks ago she could have DS2 as her DD was ill. Obviously its a pain if I can't get him to her just as its a pain if she cant have him if one of her own DC's is ill...but I didn't expect a free session to make up for my inconvenience so am I being unreasonable to expect to not be charged for today?

OP posts:

Original poster

AliBean · 28/11/2013 19:26

couldn't have him

OP posts:

TidyDancer · 28/11/2013 19:26

Is it in the contract?

Lambzig · 28/11/2013 19:27

I think its fair enough really. I am amazed she doesn't charge you if DS2 is ill. She is running a business and presumably relies on the income.

AryaofhouseSnark · 28/11/2013 19:29

Sorry I think yabu, it's in the contract for a start. I know it's frustrating to pay for something your not using, but it's not her fault your dc are ill, she shouldn't have to lose money.

Hope your Ds gets better soon.

WilsonFrickett · 28/11/2013 19:31

I too am amazed she doesn't charge if your DS is ill so I think you're going to have to suck this one up. Every other childcare setting I've ever heard of charges for the place, doesn't matter if the child is there or not, so I think overall you're onto a good thing here.

Journey · 28/11/2013 19:33

I agree with lambzig

KeepingUpWithTheJonses · 28/11/2013 19:33

Yabu. If your child is I'll or you can't attend for any reason, you should still pay her.

If however, she can't have your lo, then you shouldn't pay. Yanbu...she is taking the piss, she can't have it both ways.

Bowlersarm · 28/11/2013 19:34

YABU.

You pay for her availability to look after your DS. If you decide he can't go, that isn't her fault.

WooWooOwl · 28/11/2013 19:35

Yes, YABVU.

I think it's very nice of her that she won't charge if the child she is supposed to be caring for is ill, many childminders do still charge if their charges are ill.

This is her livelihood, and it's one thing for her to have to take a days unpaid leave if her own child is sick because then she is unable to provide the service. But today, she was able to provide her service, and she does deserve to be paid for it.

Would you appreciate it if your boss told you not to bother turning up to work for whatever reason and then told you that even though you were willing and able to work you weren't going to be paid according to your contract?

NurseRoscoe · 28/11/2013 19:36

I still have to pay at nursery if my sons are ill or don't go for any reason. I think it's just the way things work. It is a bit shit like you say but there are lots of things in life that are a bit annoying/shitty but can still be justified, like here where these people have to earn a living.

Peachypossum · 28/11/2013 19:36

So, contract is for her or your DC being ill but she cancelled a day for her DC being ill - did she charge you or not on that occasion?

NurseRoscoe · 28/11/2013 19:36

lilyaldrin · 28/11/2013 19:37

Also surprised she lets you have a free day if your child is ill.

However, if she is not available, whether for her sickness or her child's, you shouldn't pay.

Catmint · 28/11/2013 19:37

Sorry but presumably you read and signed the contract? The terms you describe are fairly standard, I think.

AbiRoad · 28/11/2013 19:38

I think you owe the money.

I think you should not have paid when her DC was ill if not in contract (unless it counted as holiday, depending on whether you pay for a certain amount of her holiday).
So she kind of owes you one.

mysteryfairy · 28/11/2013 19:40

I think it was reasonable to charge for today but unreasonable to charge for the time she couldn't have him due to her own child's illness as on that occasion she didn't offer the service you paid for.

Original poster

AliBean · 28/11/2013 19:44

Yes I know her not charging when DS is ill is great. its the cross over that bugs me... her DCs being ill and her having to cancel at last minute (7:30am) isn't in the contract...other CMs that do charge when mindees are ill tend to make provision for their own children don't they? Should I have taken him and risked infecting her family with our sicky germs?

OP posts:

notmyproblem · 28/11/2013 19:44

So she doesn't charge you if she can't take him (because her DC are ill), and you want her not to charge you if you can't take him to her either (because your other DC are ill)?

YABU to want it both ways to benefit you.

Moreisnnogedag · 28/11/2013 19:45

Did she charge you for that day?

My cm charges me if my DS is ill (fair enough as they are still available) but not if they are ill (husband and wife team). There was a two week period where each of their own dc took it in turn to be properly ill and I felt really sorry for them - they lost hundreds of pounds.

RedLondonBus · 28/11/2013 19:47

Should you take him and infect them all?

Er, why would you consider for even a nano second? Your ds would be ill and need to be at home with you! How cruel

Moreisnnogedag · 28/11/2013 19:48

I'm not sure what you mean 'tend to make provision for their own children'? The same as my work just have to accept that on occasion I will have to call in parental leave at the last minute, so do you. If you don't want this aspect of having a childminder look after your dc, you should consider a nursery.

WooWooOwl · 28/11/2013 19:50

It would have been your choice if you had taken your child and risked infecting her family. The child that she looks after wasn't ill, so you would have been doing nothing wrong. Entirely your choice.

You could have had someone available to sit with the sick child while you dropped off your healthy child at the CM, or you could have found someone to give the child a lift to the CM. maybe you couldn't have done those things, but it wouldn't be down to the childminder either way, so she deserves her pay.

In my job I get sickness pay if I'm ill, but I don't get paid if I have to have time off if one of my children is ill. That's pretty standard with a lot of employers, and your CMs contract is in line with that.

Original poster

AliBean · 28/11/2013 19:51

Based on the premise of fairness then if I need her services to work and she can't deliver at the last minute I am hugely inconvenienced and lose a precious working day (am self employed and daylight working hours are GOLD!) but if I can't utilise her services for a reason beyond my control then her need to earn a living outweighs mine? Is it standard for the childcare relationship to be so unfairly weighted in one parties favour?

OP posts:

lilyaldrin · 28/11/2013 19:53

What do you expect her to do with her sick child?

Did she charge you for the day her child was ill?

WooWooOwl · 28/11/2013 19:57

That is part of having a CM though.

If you wanted reliable care that would almost never let you down then you should have chosen a nursery. But presumably you wanted one person to provide a home form home environment with a personal level of attention on your child at all times, because that is what childminders offer. Part of having that one person to care for your child has to be an acceptance that that person is human, and will have her own lines and her own family lines to deal with too.

You seem to want it to be completely weighted in your favour.

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