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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know I am being unreasonable but ....

84 replies

mumofbeautys · 28/11/2013 19:16

Me again sorry this is going to be a rant.

so I am sitting in hospital with my daughter yet again, who has finally dropped off to sleep ... guess where were going to be spending xmas.

after talking to a consultang about how important a lung transplant will be as in 18 months ago it was said she wouldnt survive 2-3 years without one, I got increasingly upset thinking about how many .. no offence people have died and had capable lungs for transplants but never signed up. I know I aibu and people have there own reasons but its ok to still be angry right ?
Why dont people sign up, what will they lose by signing.

OP posts:
Squidwardtenticles · 29/11/2013 22:21

I am signed up to the register but my dc are not. They're organs are not mine to give and they can decide for themselves when they are 16. I tried to give blood a few weeks ago but they wouldn't allow me because i had a transfusion in 2001. Why won't they allow it?

Lilicat1013 · 29/11/2013 22:22

I hope a donor is found soon. I do agree it needs to be a system where people have to opt out if they choose not to donate rather than opt in.

I think every adult in my family has a donor card and is registered. We are also all aware of each other's wishes in that respect.

Squidwardtenticles · 29/11/2013 22:23

I hope you find a donor asap. My cousin is currently waiting for a bone marrow transplant and he's only 5

GirlWithTheDirtyShirt · 29/11/2013 22:25

YANBU. This thread just reminded me to make it clear to DH that I am willing to donate. We only married a few weeks ago so he's only just become my formal next of kin.

BlatantRedhead · 29/11/2013 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BigArea · 29/11/2013 22:43

YANBU - I had a donor card many moons ago but have just registered online because of this thread

Ledkr · 29/11/2013 22:48

I agree. My ds has been waiting for a kidney transplant for a couple of years now and I also can't understand why they wait as people have two kidneys.
Its awful watching him waste away.

TreaterAnita · 29/11/2013 23:27

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, and no YANBU at all.

It should be made an opt out scheme in my opinion, with a proper government roll out so that every household gets a leaflet telling them how to opt out, lots of coverage on the BBC, billboards, all the sort of stuff they did for eg digital switch over) clearly a less significant issue). Those who want to opt out can (sadly my husband would, and I don't appear to be able to make him think otherwise, and if he insisted then the only compromise for our son would have to be that he did too until he could make his own mind up) but the potential donor register would increase massively as so many people actually would, but just haven't got round to registering, or haven't told their families their wishes, so people end up paralysed with indecision about what someone would have wanted at the worst point in their lives.

I really hope your daughter gets her transplant soon.

Rufus44 · 29/11/2013 23:43

Hope you get a donor soon

I am registered and so is my dh. The children aren't but I would certainly donate their organs ( have a bit of a problem with eyes)

Original poster
mumofbeautys · 30/11/2013 10:35

Thank you all... my daughter is a lil better after a rough night but had to have a drain in last night. She has all been quite sicky which is messing up her sugar levels a bit.

OP posts:
HoratiaDrelincourt · 30/11/2013 11:47

Hope the blood sugars settle and she has a better day Brew

SomethingkindaOod · 30/11/2013 13:17

Thank you for this thread, I hope you find a donor ASAP. you reminded me that I probably needed to update my details as we moved last year, I've on for a while though, as has DH. Both down to give anything apart from DH's corneas, he has glaucoma so assumes nobody would want them.

Original poster
mumofbeautys · 01/12/2013 18:28

just bumping this as it seems to remind people :)

lil one is on ventilation still but doing ok

OP posts:
AChristmassyJerseySpud · 01/12/2013 18:35

I am registered as an organ donor as is DH

However with my DD's i just don't know. I would rather either deal with it when a situation arises or wait until they are old enough to decide for themselves. I don't really want to think about any situation where i would have to iyswim

RedHelenB · 01/12/2013 18:48

YANBU to feel the way you do but it is up to individuals to do as they want. I always felt very strongly that I would donate my organs 7 carried a card but as I get older my feelings have changed somewhat, don't ask me why. I think the system should stay as it is though.

Original poster
mumofbeautys · 01/12/2013 18:51

may I ask is there any reason at all ,, I am not judging just curious to understand why . would you accept an organ or not.

OP posts:
RosebudTheCat · 01/12/2013 20:09

I am really sorry to hear your daughter is unwell, OP, and best wishes to you all. I hope a suitable organ is found soon.

I am going to go against the grain here; I believe that organ donation is and should be a truly altruistic act. I find the notion of automatic state ownership of your body after you die (an opt-out system) very sinister.

Original poster
mumofbeautys · 01/12/2013 20:20

I know its peoples choice but if there is an opt out system they still have a choice, it just means a lot more people who may forget etc will be donors too.
thank you I hope she gets a donor too x

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 02/12/2013 07:17

But surely by hoping she gets a donor soon you are wishing some other family to go through the heartache of losing their child? My body my decision so I still think the current system is best as it allows those that are sure to opt in to donating their organs.

DottyboutDots · 02/12/2013 07:30

For those who aren't keen, can I ask what are your reservations?

Original poster
mumofbeautys · 02/12/2013 08:45

What a stupid thing to say, I wouldn't wish anyone to die to help my child , there is a difference of saying I wish more people would die so there is more donors than saying I wish that less organs were wasted that could help others if it were to happen.

I have said from the start it's a person's choice but to me I think if anyone was willing to accept an organ they should be willing to donate too.

OP posts:
whois · 02/12/2013 08:56

For those who aren't keen, can I ask what are your reservations?

Stupid and selfish just about sums it up. Don't like the 'idea' of their organs being used and not being whole in death. Believe they need then in the afterlife. Generally ignorant.

Belugagrad · 02/12/2013 09:01

I'm signed up but won't sign but my child- her body to give, not mine. She can decide when older.

ISawStrattersKissingSantaClaus · 02/12/2013 09:04

I'm so sorry you are in this position. I have a donor card, although I don't think they would take my organs (transfusion), but both my DDs have had donor cards since birth.

WooWooOwl · 02/12/2013 09:08

Dotty, I'm not sure that a thread started by someone whose child is in need of a transplant is the best place to answer that question.