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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not attend the school Christmas Fair?

34 replies

GobbysMum · 28/11/2013 08:25

I've sold all the raffle tickets I was asked to sell and do plenty to help the school out through my line of work saving them money all through the year. I hate school fairs, too busy, too hot, paying to enter to look at over priced crafty stuff that I never buy anyway.

AIBU to not want to go? DD and other parent seem to think I am.

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 28/11/2013 08:29

If your dd wants you to go then then I think YABU not to.

We aren't actually supposed to enjoy these things. They are mainly about supporting the school, but they are also a good opportunity for parents to be in school. My dc enjoy having their family visit their schools, and these kind of things are the one of the few opportunities we get to go in now that they're at secondary.

Xochiquetzal · 28/11/2013 08:32

Sorry but if DD wants you to go then yes YABU.

I hate school fairs too but its important to the DC so still have to go and pretend I'm happy to be there.

ICameOnTheJitney · 28/11/2013 08:32

If DD can't go because you're not then of course YABU. if DD can go with someone else then no you're not. I don't like crowds...they make me panic...but I put up with them as my DC love fairs and things.

diddl · 28/11/2013 08:35

Can other parent take your daughter or can she go alone or with another parent & friend?

YANBU to not want to go.

I'm not sure if you should go for her anyway tbh-how many times have you been already?

longjane · 28/11/2013 08:38

This what I did
Go to food area give kids money to spend where they like.
Sit down in food area maybe buy a drink .

When kids return spent up .
You go .
Job done.
The joy of school fairs is kids know there school better. Than you. So don't get lost and enjoy the freedom of going to stall to stall on there own.

Fleta · 28/11/2013 08:38

Your daughter wants to go - if you're the only person she can go with then yes, YABU.

I'm not a fan, but DD loves hers and so we go.

NoComet · 28/11/2013 08:44

YANBU that Christmas school fairs are a money evaporating pit of hell.

However, you are going!

I used to help organise the things, they are a huge amount of work, but the DCs love them. (Oh and we'd also like your money)

Also be happy, you won't be there for another 40 minutes clearing up with tired, hyper DCs running round, 'helping'.

comemulledwinewithmoi · 28/11/2013 08:47

Yanbu

comemulledwinewithmoi · 28/11/2013 08:51

I will be going to ours(actually went to high school dd on Saturday) at primary but won't stay long as it will be hot, busy and crowded. I go because I want a nosey and dds like it but Ffs no on is bu for not going!

Heathcliff27 · 28/11/2013 08:55

I wont be going to ours as it lands on the same night as my work night out buffet, free bar, not on your nellie am i missing it however DH will be taking the kids so they don't miss out

Passthecake30 · 28/11/2013 08:58

Yabu if your DD wants to go. The organisers have put in a lot of effort and are fundraising for things to benefit your DD I imagine?

SonorousBip · 28/11/2013 09:08

One of the key parts of parenting, I think, is recognising when you need to Suck It Up. I would say that the school Christmas Fair falls into that category, as obviously, do school plays and assemblies. I personally think you can be "unavoidably busy" for instrumental concerts, but that depends on your children's ability and approach

Once you have recognised that in various situations, you then need to practice the advanced version of the strategy, which is learning to Suck It Up With The Least Personal Pain or Effort. You need to smile till your teeth ache, compliment everyone who has organised anything, even if it is totally pointless/overpriced etc and make sure that you are seen by relevant people - class teacher/alpha mother/whoever. You say "Isn't it Wonderful that the children are having such fun" or similar. As someone said upthread, you grab of coffee - mulled wine if you are lucky - you give your dc a finite amount of money and let them know where to meet you when they run out. Job done.

Can you guess what I will be doing on Saturday morning Grin

mrsjay · 28/11/2013 09:11

yanbu to not want to go i don't like things like that either and i never buy anything but as a parent I think you need to suck it up and go because your dd wants you too go, what you can do is go whizz round the stalls and leave again,

mrsjay · 28/11/2013 09:11

Xpost with the sucking it up oh that sounds very rude

teenagetantrums · 28/11/2013 09:19

I hated all these things, but you have to go im afraid at least until your DD is old enough to go without you. I actually used to help out, you get a seat behind a stall( pick one that's not very popular) and you can just chilli out until its over.

SarahAndFuck · 28/11/2013 09:23

If your DD wants to go, you should take her.

I remember it being important to me when I was younger, and DS always wants to go to his.

They are exactly as you describe, too hot, too crowded, some stuff overpriced, bun stall far too cheap. But it's important to the children and it's once every six months at our school (summer fair and Christmas fair) for an hour at the most.

mrsjay · 28/11/2013 09:26

I used to go to the book fairs quietly kicking and screaming hated them , don't mind any fairs quite like a wander and browse never buy anything maybe a raffle ticket ,

hazeyjane · 28/11/2013 09:31

I am going to say YABU, but only because I am having to go to 2 xmas fairs on consecutive days and do 2 hours of facepainting at one of them!

noblegiraffe · 28/11/2013 09:38

I'm not going, but then I've got a 10 month old baby who wouldn't appreciate being out of the house at 8pm. No guilt here.

However, my DS is only reception, so doesn't really know what's going on or what he'll be missing so probably doesn't give a toss.

I have paid a fortune for raffle tickets.

Contraryish · 28/11/2013 09:38

I don't see any reason why you have to go. Ours is tomorrow and I won't be going. Parking is miserable, I know nobody there (children only recently joined school) and I have no desire to spend my money on overpriced tat brought in and bought by the same people.

Tee2072 · 28/11/2013 09:39

I am grateful my son isn't yet aware that there even is a school fair as things go in one ear and out the other with him.

So, no, YANBU.

Rooners · 28/11/2013 09:43

I hate them - they freak me out, but I'm not good with crowded places and I just have to leave within five minutes,

also there is nowhere to park for our school so you have to pay to park, walk there usually in the pouring rain, then walk back to car park ten minutes away after - it isn't worth it.

Not to mention a few years ago when I got cornered by the f*cking caretaker all bloody night trying to chat me up. Thankfully he has now 'retired' as ds really needs to be there this year, and I think they may have brought the time forward so it isn't late at night.

steels self

FeetUpUnitilChristmas · 28/11/2013 09:51

I've just spent the past month organising our High Schools Christmas Fayre. I'll be at school for at least 6 hours this weekend setting up and then clearing up, all to help the school raise vital funds. All parents have to do is bring their children for a short time to support the school that their children go to YABU.

Pogosticks · 28/11/2013 09:53

Don't go. I don't go to any indulgence evenings -
I just say 'no thanks I don't enjoy them'.
I do school fairs because my DC are not
V confident irl shops so fairs are a good practice place for them.

kungfupannda · 28/11/2013 09:53

Ours is helpfully just after lunch on a working day. So no Christmas fair for me.

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