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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think there must be something wrong with this person?

31 replies

ThereWasOnceAGirl · 26/11/2013 23:00

Wrong as in she has fallen out to the point of never speaking again to ...

  • Her mother
  • Her brother
  • Her sister in law (thus never seeing her nieces)
  • Two of her closest friends.

So although there are two sides to every story. This seems rather excessive to me, and perhaps its an issue with her and not every other person?

OP posts:
RevoltingPeasant · 26/11/2013 23:02

Perhaps... But who can tell from this? Her brother, sil, and mother might all be part of some toxic family dynamic. Why is it relevant that she doesn't see her nieces?

Obviously don't know about the friends....

DeepThought · 26/11/2013 23:03

she might be nasty/far too much like hard work

what do you mean by 'wrong' please?

DeepThought · 26/11/2013 23:03

and yes indeed to escaping a toxic family

Amy106 · 26/11/2013 23:04

It is really hard to tell without more information.

Iamsparklyknickers · 26/11/2013 23:06

Complete speculation.

She could be 100% nightmare or as has been pointed out the family situation entwined and if she follows a pattern has got caught up in a friendship group with similar personalities....

Impossible to say without knowing a bit more.

Tiptops · 26/11/2013 23:07

YABU and judgemental. I wish all I had to worry about was other people's relationships... Hmm

ikeaaddict · 26/11/2013 23:09

I hope people don't think that about me! I don't speak to my sister or parents as my parents were abusive to me as a child and my sister has, quite frankly, treated me like shit all my life.

I haven't fallen out with any close friends but I don't take crap from people and I don't think twice about cutting a toxic casual friend/acquaintance from my life.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 26/11/2013 23:10

I don't speak to my

Brother
2 aunts
1 uncle
My grandmother
And for 6 months last year I didn't speak to my parents or my other aunt.

Is their something wrong with me then? 'Cause I am pretty sure its them.

Original poster
ThereWasOnceAGirl · 26/11/2013 23:11

I wish all I had to worry about was other people's relationships..

Yes I'm the judgmental one. Pot? Kettle?

Yes it's all I have to worry about, my life is so easy.

I'm obviously asking for a reason. Perhaps the OP is about me, perhaps I'm one of the friends etc.

OP posts:
AngelsLieToKeepControl · 26/11/2013 23:11

You could easily be talking about me, and, yes, it is an issue with me, if you call me not putting up with nasty, manipulative, twisted, evil liars and their supporters an issue.

ArbitraryUsername · 26/11/2013 23:13

I don't speak to anyone on my father's side of the family, including my father.

I limit contact with my mother and even more so with my sister.

I refused to have anything to do with my maternal grandmother while she was alive, and wouldn't allow contact with DS1.

There are very good reasons for the above.

RevoltingPeasant · 26/11/2013 23:13

Right but OP with this info, who can tell?

DeepThought · 26/11/2013 23:14

well look

if it's you, or your chum, don't dripfeed or be disingenuous, we can analyse a bit, maybe offer support/advice/signpost to RL help but don't lead us up a primrose path or you'll be TOAST, yeah?

MN, love and knuckles, true years ago, true now [oldie]

ikeaaddict · 26/11/2013 23:15

I value my mental health, self esteem and general wellbeing, and I think it's important to cut people out of your life that make you feel unhappy. Life is just too damn short to bother with them!

Original poster
ThereWasOnceAGirl · 26/11/2013 23:17

Yeah well perhaps I'm in the middle of getting a diagnosis for my mental health, possibly bi-polar after years of waiting.

And wanted outsiders point of views with limited knowledge, as a stranger would not know the background when first meeting them.

All this time I thought it was them but now it's me who was in the wrong.

But yes I'm so happy my life is so fucking easy - thanks for that Tiptops

OP posts:
SeaSickSal · 26/11/2013 23:17

People from abusive families often have difficulties building and sustaining relationships in adulthood as a result. It could be that. Could be a number of other things.

Personally I think your question speaks volumes about you and not much about her....

ikeaaddict · 26/11/2013 23:21

In all honesty OP I rarely take any notice of other peoples' spats with others! I wouldn't know if some of my friends and acquaintances have fallen out with other friends, or if they don't speak to their sisters, or whatever. I take people at face value.

I don't like mouthy, gobby people who slag off others that they've fallen out with, and I'd avoid someone like that. But the way I see it we all have our own shit to deal with, and if I like someone and they are nice to me, any other issues in their life are none of my business.

Original poster
ThereWasOnceAGirl · 26/11/2013 23:22

Well I am her Sea if you'd bothered to read.

Fucking shoot me now.

I'm leaving this thread now, too many people determined to stick the knife in.

OP posts:
DeepThought · 26/11/2013 23:22

oh now, you were deliberately misleading us, don't berate

come on, tell us what's happened

MollyWhuppie · 26/11/2013 23:23

I think it's odd when people routinely fall out with people and cut people out of their lives.

Yes people can have issues with certain people, but when they seem to fall out with everyone they come into contact with, it's more likely to be a problem they have, rather than everyone else being at fault.

I had a friend who was like that, an lo and behold I was turned on - over literally nothing. I had been nothing but a good supportive friend until that point. Some people are just a bit strange.

Divinity · 26/11/2013 23:29

OP are you saying that you thought you had cut people out because they were toxic and now you think you are the problem?

SeaSickSal · 26/11/2013 23:31

I'm slightly confused. Most of the answers were saying that there probably wasn't something wrong with the person who did this. Which I presume is what you wanted to hear?

Or did you want us all to tell you that yes you were horrible and there was something wrong with you?

You did lead people up the garden path by pretending it was not you, you gave the impression it was someone outside the situation asking.

And given that it is you the answers being disapproving of someone thinking there was something 'wrong' with you are broadly supportive of you.

I think we're both confused.

MollyWhuppie · 26/11/2013 23:35

Sorry x-post. Hope you get sorted OP.

gobbynorthernbird · 27/11/2013 00:03

I would have said that there wasn't necessarily anything wrong with that person, but that was before I saw how aggressive you got.

saulaboutme · 27/11/2013 00:35

I have experience of someone like this, those thoughts crossed mind very soon before I cut them out of my life!!

Not usual in everyday life. Yanbu if you have good, good reason that this person is toxic.