To be annoyed neither of my kids look like me or my side of the family

[Bedsheets4knickers]

When I look at my children 3 and 12 months I see my dp and his mum in my son and dp dad in my daughter. I find it really strange, almost like they are more his than mine. It bothers me..
Let's discuss

You've got 46 chromosomes and the X or Y chromosomes is just one of them. Your DH has 45 other chromosomes that are made up of 50/50 material from his parents.

I believe male pattern baldness is carried on the mothers gene, so if the mother's father was bald her son is more likely to be bald iykwim

Our kids look nothing like either of us, or each other. We have one with black curls and dark brown eyes and one with poker straight light hair and green eyes.

I have 3 sisters and we look nothing alike - all different hair type & colour, different eye colour, body shapes & heights. None of us resemble our parents, neither now or when they were younger.

I think we have weird genes.

Also, my daughter looks like her father, but looked the absolute spit of his father when born. I actually found this quite disturbing as , for one reason or another, I'd joked whilst pregnant that I'd be happy as long as she was healthy and didn't look like his dad!

You guys are great, x

Ok, I'll bite and discuss be the one to say it.

I think, when you look at your children, you should feel thankful to have them at all.

Let's discuss that

My dd didn't look like either me or her dad when she was small. She was blonde and blue eyed, where dh and I are both dark with dark eyes. Roll on a few years and her hair has darkened up and her eyes have turned green, and so she looks much more like 'one of us'. ds looks like us both and always has done, it's often commented on.

It did bother me a bit that dd looked so different, although she has always been gorgeous. Then I saw a pic of her with one of her (much older) cousins and they were so alike, it was sort of reassuring. Funnily he doesn't look much like his mum (my sister) and has always been said to look like his dad, but there obviously some strong features coming down our family line to the both of them.

As babies both my DC were spitting images of DH at that age, I think this was helped by the fact that the have his colouring.
Now they are teenagers they still look like him to an extent but eldest also looks like me and youngest has features of both of us.

NB I hate it when relatives always spend time commenting on how much x looks like y or the family. I just want to shout they are their own person talk about something else.

I still look the same as my sister, we are not twins, for a while we worked together in sales and when we went to visit clients would get comments like wow you've cut your hair (she has long hair I have shirt hair) err no, we are 2 people I'm C last month A called on you.

Just last week I went to a new group with her and as we walked in the door the leader just said OMG you must be sisters.

Yep totally thankful and all that,that we feel we have to profusely add before daring to have a moan .

Yes, heaven forbid we discuss anything negative about our children on a parenting site. Whatever were we thinking

Yes, it bothers me a LOT . yy of course I'm dead grateful and adore their very bones... but I wish they looked a bit more like me.

I thought that one of my kids, when he was small, had an eyebrow that looked like mine (just the one). It soon morphed into an eyebrow that was nothing like mine. Now that's just plain sad.

They look nothing like me, you'd never in a million years know we were related. I used to make teachers at parents evening try and guess whose mum I was, and the shock that passed across their faces when I eventually told them...

It's just not fair.

*me and my side of the family, I should say. Rather than their father, his mother, his father, his uncle joe and auntie floss etc.

*they are mixed race and very dark. I am white.

*someone asked me once how long I'd had them.

It's an evolutionary thing.

All babies look like their fathers, that way in the days of hunter gatherers and living in caves dd would have a reason to look after and protect the child. Mum has given birth, she doesn't need to know it is hers.

Give it a few years.

When dd was small everyone said how much she looked like her dad's side, comparisons were made between her and her dad's sister etc

Now she is 12 it's like I have been cloned! poor child

They alter so much but I absolutely get how frustrating it feels

I have 3. The eldest 2 have a different dad to the youngest and none of them look like me.

I have a great picture of DD and FIL pulling the same face. Very funny.

It doesn't bother me at all. Only a couple of people think they look like me.

The whole, 'they look like their Dads because hunter/gatherer men were knuckle-dragging troglodytes, who wouldn't given two hoots about their kids' is, actually, crap isn't it...?

DS came out looking like the spit of me/my side, and remains resolutely like me. Presumably DH would picked up his club and high-tailed it in pre-historic times.

I know plenty of babes who've popped out, looking just like their Mums. I'm pretty sure it happens just as frequently as looking like Dad. I wonder if there is any credible research into it...