to wish the passion / excitement / honeymoon period didnt have to ever end in relationships?

[lostthespark]

and to think there would probably be NO or very few extra marital affairs if it didn't?

been with DH 6 years and married 3. we have 2 dcs, 7 and 4 (my dc1 is from a previous relationship) i love and still fancy him, he is a brilliant husband and dad and he says he loves and fancies me as well. but it is just not the same as the early days

we kept our "spark" for ages, probably for the first 2 or 3 years. which is certainly longer than it lasted in any other relationship i have ever had. we have both had boring sexless relationships before we met and for the first few years could not believe our luck in finding eachother and how good the sex was, at first, we were absolutely crazy about eachother, it was almost like an obsession

dh says the "spark" is still there, for him. but i don't believe him TBH. we go to bed and just want to sleep. inb the last few months, we only ever DTD sunday mornings when the dcs are downstairs watching tv. with one eye on the bedroom door. once a week ffs. a few years ago it was every day. and we would feel sorry for those "boring" once a week couples and now we are one of them :( and i am gutted tbh as we went away last weekend with no dcs and did not even do it once. 3 years ago if we had gone away just the 2 of us we would not have got out of bed

it doesnt help that i am 5 months pg and feeling pretty unsexy anyway. but when i was pg 5 years ago with our first DC together we still couldnt stop shagging right up till the due date (sorry for tmi and resumed it quickly after the birth

anyway i wish nature allowed us to keep feeling the way we do in the beginning, because i think then everyone in relationships would be a whole load happier :/

ok will have a look trooperslane .

and preciousbane thats lovely. i totally agree re separate interests etc. dh plays in a band and (when not upduffed) i do pole fitness twice a week, but we also go out together on the rare occasions we can get babysitters.

Op I think you are right!

I think marriage or long term relationships inevitably moves on to something else more akin to being best friends.

I just have celebrity crushes instead to replicate the fluttery feelings.

I think everyone goes through this in any long term relationship. It's much easier to be all over someone before you know all their annoying habits.

If you make an extra effort and make him feel special (special meal or dirty texts work best he will feel more attractive and act more attractive and therefore appear more attractive to you. I read that last psychobabble bit somewhere and it really does seem to work, people see the image that you project.

i do think if the honeymoon lasted though there would be no affairs. or a fraction of the amount there are. as why would people look elsewhere when they had the mad passionate love at home?

Dh and I just got married, after five years and one child together. The honeymoon stage has definitely passed, but that doesn't equate to having gone off him.

I love him more deeply than anyone I have been with before and cannot imagine a future without him. We don't have a lot of sex (see: 2yo DS), but we really enjoy each others company and make each other laugh.

The "first flutters" were lovely, but I would not exchange the security and depth of feeling we have for one another for that. Plus, that first bit is exciting, but full of uncertainty and insecurity (for me, at least)!

Someone made a really nice point about going out together in a group, and watching your dp with others. I do that sometimes and am struck by how nice and warm and clever and handsome he is even if he is a gormless gobshite after too many beers. People always tell me how good looking he is as well.

Now we've been together 14 years, the constant mad fluttery breathless stage is well and truly gone, but we have a warm, comfortable and very loving relationship generally. Sometimes he's a stupid dick, and I'm a mardy cow, but those times usually pass quickly. Maybe it helps that we don't have kids - I don't know. I do understand though, that having small children is exhausting and leaves time for little else. You're doing an important job at the moment. I guess the trick is remembering you're a team, and a partnership.

We are coming up to our 24th anniversary next week and I honestly think our relationship is more precious now. However sex is only a part of a relationship after the first few year. Ours was madly passionate at first and now is not but we have a hugely affectionate marriage, we still enjoy each others company even now the "children" have left home (beware the empty nest syndrome of concentrating your attention too much on your children - your partner should come first). Shared memories, someone knowing you so well - these things are so special and cannot be replaced by the heady excitement of first love/lust. I left a previous marriage because I thought the magic had gone and called off another marriage just before the wedding for the same reason. I now realise that all relationships morph into this lovely comfortable phase of life. If you truly love and get on with our dh then stick with it.

10th pint LaQ? Make that four, in our case. And sometimes three :o

I, of course, increase my wit and interestingness in direct proportion to the amount of booze I have put away. Anyone who can't see that is frankly a fool.

Hell no! I'd have failed my degree (either in bed shagging him or staring into space reliving shagging him), lost my job (too many mornings shagging), got scurvy (too busy shagging to worry about vitamin C) and died of sleep deprivation (bed was not a place for sleep!)