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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you how much you think is reasonable to spend on Christmas presents

67 replies

PMDD · 26/11/2013 08:08

Between my dh and I we have 9 nieces and nephews that we are close to. 5 siblings and their partners. 4 god children. Also both our parents are divorced so we also have 8 parents/step parent to buy for. We have 3 children that have stockings and presents too.

So in total we have 34 people to buy for.

I buy all the presents over 3-4 months to spread the cost, but the cost is huge.

I spend an average of 25 pounds on everyone other than my own children, which is 750 pounds. I spend about 250 on each of my own children. So 1500 on presents alone.

My dh is horrified and so am I. I can cut back but not to much under 1000.

Is anyone else in this position?

OP posts:
Lurkersanonymous · 26/11/2013 08:22

Well the thing that is staring me in the face is that you make a pact with the adults not to buy presents so thats £450 right there. Perhaps you could also trim the children's presents by £5 (careful shopping won't even lower the quality!) so that's another £85. And I know in this day and age £250 is not totally ridiculous for your own children but could that not be trimmed to £200 each, so another £150 (with all those adults buying for them I can't imagine they will go short, or even notice.

Maybe it's a bit late for this year, (and obviously I know nothing of your family dynamics!) but it seems there is plenty of fat that can be trimmed.

Happy Christmas!

ginslinger · 26/11/2013 08:26

I think it is reasonable to spend what you can afford and not go into debt with. For some it's hundreds and for others it's less than a fiver. I think a lot of thought on a less expensive present is foften far nicer than some expensive boxed set od somethung

cory · 26/11/2013 08:26

I am in a similar position, but have to spend a lot less, because we haven't got that kind of money. So I try to put more into finding the right present iyswim: a DVD that I think that person would really enoy (can often be found for under a tenner), a book that I know somebody has been looking for. I spend £5-15 on nephews/nieces, perhaps £25 each on my parents and £50-80 on my own children and dh.

ginslinger · 26/11/2013 08:26

I'm really not drunk - am holding a puppy and an ipad

ICameOnTheJitney · 26/11/2013 08:28

I spend about a fiver on my nieces and nephews! OP....stop spending that much.

CaterpillarCara · 26/11/2013 08:31

I would make a pact with family - limit all gifts to less than 10 pounds. You can get great things within that, just takes creativity (or clubbing together with other siblings to get joint presents, or joint family gifts - a good quality board game a set of siblings could play together for example).

35 x 10 is 350.

Then cut own children to £150 which is still loads.

£500.

(or spend around £250 per child, but half of it is stuff they need anyway e.g. pants, socks, PJs - so more to unwrap but a cost you would have had anyway)

Joysmum · 26/11/2013 08:31

We make it plain to family and friends that as we are parents, we prefer not to have gifts bought for us and they just get for DD. We may get a token small gift for other parents but tend to stick to just buying for the children of those that have them.

pianodoodle · 26/11/2013 08:32

Agree with what you can afford.

Our budget this year for everyone is probably the same as you are spending on a couple of nieces or nephews Grin

DD will get most of it, the dog will have a turkey Jumbone and we might get each other something small each.

I'm either making fudge or jam for everyone else. I have decorated the coffee jars nicely though :)

ShoeWhore · 26/11/2013 08:34

We have a similar family setup.

We do Secret Santa for adults in my family (usually about £20pp) and by agreement don't buy for sibs in dh's family so just the PILs to buy for there.

£20ish per cousin. So it comes out at about £200 on other people plus about £100 each on our three.

I think you have to start with what you can afford. £1500 if you can afford it is great, if it's a problem then you need to make some changes I think.

orangepudding · 26/11/2013 08:37

In your position I would stop buying for adults (tell them all you will be doing this) or give them a small token gift like wine, chocolate or cheese.

Spend £15 max on all other children in the family.

Cut down what you buy your own kids to about £150. It sounds like they will get lots of other presents from other family members so probably wouldn't notice you are spending less on them.

Jinty64 · 26/11/2013 08:45

We don't buy for adults and spend £10 each on nieces and nephews. I normally spend about £100 on each of mine but have spent a bit more this year as they want specific things. I will recoup it from them at a later date'

NicknameIncomplete · 26/11/2013 08:47

I dont agree with the stop buying for adults suggestions.

I have a big family aswell and i spend no more than a tenner on each person(sometimes it is a fiver). My dd gets more but i dont set her a budget which i probably should.

I love the challenge of buying great gifts on the cheap.

soverylucky · 26/11/2013 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ginslinger · 26/11/2013 09:30

I really don't think that a bottle of wine or chocolates is a 'token' gift. It is a gift - providing the recipient likes it. Otherwise it's a waste of money.

Old fart KLAXON - i don't know when we started thinking that this wasn't a perfectly reasonable gift for an adult.

Ragwort · 26/11/2013 09:39

It's so difficult isn't it, if you have already established a 'generous' routine then it can be hard to cut back but usually having a frank discussion with the adults means that everyone breathes a sigh of relief. You can blame the 'recession', 'cut backs at work', pension planning or whatever.

Personally we agreed years ago not to exchange presents as adults and I spend £15 on nieces/nephews (& stop at 18), We spend about £100 on our own child and DH and I buy token gifts (actually I buy my own as I don't like his taste - I have chosen a Yankee candle & my favourite chocolates this year Grin).

It depends what you are comfortable spending, we could afford to spend a lot more but - I hate the over commercialisation of Christmas present giving and I think it is more important to have savings & a pension in place Grin.

Rufus44 · 26/11/2013 11:13

Children in family get £20 til they are 18 and then we stop

Adults are £10 each

Don't bother with gifts for husband and I

Our 3 probably get about £200 each spent on them, that's £150 on presents, about another £50 on bits that are more useful, smellies, chocolate, duvet set etc

They do get a very large advent calendar which probably adds up to £20 each and pjs and a book for Xmas Eve

We can afford more and I do look at what other people get their children and feel we should spend more...but I soon get over that Grin

PMDD · 26/11/2013 11:30

I think the problem I have is that it is too late for this year. However, we have been buying high price presents for years and years, but the family has grown and grown.

Last year we had 'secret santa' for the adults on my side of the family and only including my Dad and his wife (not my mum and her boyfriend), so as a couple we only had to buy for 2 adults rather than for 6. However, my brother and sister still bought a present for my Dad and his wife even if they didn't 'get' them in the secret santa selection(iykwim). So it really only cut it down by 2.

Also, the secret santa thing was only done to stop having to buy so many presents rather than to cut costs. My brother said that rather than spend £25 per person on 6 people he would rather spend £50-£70 each on 2 people and get them an extra special gift.

Bloody nightmare!

OP posts:
CoffeeChocolateWine · 26/11/2013 11:33

I'm one of 4 siblings plus partners and I have 6 nieces and nephews. When we all started having children we decided collectively that it was getting too expensive to buy everyone presents so we agreed not to buy each other presents and only buy for the children. And we also agreed to put a budget of £10 per child. This year things have been particularly tight for some of us and we've actually knocked that down to £5. Personally I've found it quite fun to try and find something decent for a fiver and actually I'm quite pleased with what I've got.

My DH is one of 3 but as we're the only ones with children we do still buy for them but no more than £20.

We've got 2 children and we spend about £75 on each...£50 for a main present and £25 for stockings. They are 5 and 1 so maybe when they are older we may have to increase that budget a bit!

For close friends we tend to buy a couple of bottles of wine that are on offer so generally no more than £10-12.

For our parents we tend to all chip in £30 per couple and buy them a few bits and pieces from us and the children...usually a bigger joint present and then some individual bits.

I don't think we massively overspend at Christmas, but I do think the not buying for my siblings and partners helps a lot. We sometimes do a Secret Santa for each couple though.

If I were you I would try to cut down what I spend on the children. £250 each seems an enourmous amount...perhaps try and trim it down to £150? For your siblings and partners, could you try buying joint presents for £30 rather than £25 each? And maybe £10-15 per child?

iamatwinareyou · 26/11/2013 11:41

My budget for the adults in my family are between £10-£15pp i sometimes do joint presents for the couples and if i can get bargins then all the better and i am a single parent. the kids £20 then my DD no more £150 but in that budget she gets a wee christmas eve box which will have new pjs, christmas dvd which already has, new mug with hot choc and christmas book and like new pants, socks etc

FuckyNell · 26/11/2013 11:44

£15 max on nieces and nephews.

plum100 · 26/11/2013 11:47

We are exactly the same 28 people here to buy for - j linit presents to £10 pounds each excluding my dcs, its a gift - the thought that counts and all that. Dh and i get nothing , and i would hate the thought if someone buying for my dc if they couldnt afford it so - so when people ask what they would like i suggest a gift that is £10 max or better still 2. For 15 at argos x

hels71 · 26/11/2013 11:57

We set a limit of £10 for nieces/nephews. There are 7 of them,. Then for adult siblings/in laws we get one thing we can afford, usually from amazon wish list....could be £5 or £25, (usually max £10) no-one minds. (14 of them) For parents we spend about £10 as well. Then we spend c. £100 on our DD )although it may have gone over slightly thanks to lego friends!!!!) Total spend: much less than yours!!

Greenkit · 26/11/2013 12:14

We spend £20 on my mum, dps father, brother and sister, our older daughter (24) and her husband.

Then £40 on our younger children (15 and 17) they are still at home.

A card for everyone else.

treaclesoda · 26/11/2013 12:15

I have loads of nieces and nephews too. They get somewhere between £5 and £10, and two of them get nothing at all because their parents requested that we call a halt to present buying as it was getting out of hand.

TheGreatWizardQuiQuaeQuod · 26/11/2013 12:16

It's reasonable to spend what's affordable. So it's an individual thing. I don't think you can put a £ figure on it.

If you can't afford what you are spending - spend less. Have a chat with the others. Maybe swap to a secret santa or something.