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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To change my baby's name?

37 replies

ClaraBarton · 25/11/2013 18:52

He is three months old Shock

The name was on my short list so it's not as though I was forced into it or chose in a hormonal haze. Just couldn't decide before he was born and then let DH choose from my list on the day.

Next morning I knew it wasn't right. I have obsessed over it for three months.

I never call him by his name. I miss my short list. I miss going through it every day and changing the order round. I call him "baby".

If we changed it (DH will go along with this) will everyone we know think we are bloody bonkers? Will our son find it weird when he's older? Will our older child be thoroughly confused?

Have I left it too long? Sad

OP posts:
ZombieMonkeyButler · 25/11/2013 18:54

He won't be confused because he won't know anything about it.

Everyone else can, quite frankly, get over it.

If you AND your DH want to change the name then do it.

What are the names in question? (The one he has & the one you would like to change it for).

everlong · 25/11/2013 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AngelaCatalano · 25/11/2013 18:56

You defo haven't left it too long.

What are the names? Wink

Frostedloop · 25/11/2013 18:57

Sorry I would think you were bonkers, your hubby choose it from a list you made, stick with it.

Alisvolatpropiis · 25/11/2013 18:57

As everlong says, we need to know the names before we can give you an informed opinion Wink

cantbelievemyeyes · 25/11/2013 19:03

Have you chosen a new name or are you still undecided? You say you miss going through your shortlist and changing the order around. It doesn't sound like you know what you want to call him.

Some people will find it weird, I'm sure. I don't think it's a huge deal but I'd get on with it if you're going to do it.

CrockedPot · 25/11/2013 19:10

Change it if it really is bothering you, but FWIW I had exactly the same with ds2... For months I was panicking thinking I had given him the 'wrong name' actually feeling physically sick because I wanted the one I had at the last minute changed my mind on. I didn't do anything about it though, and now I am so glad I didn't..the name in question was Harry and since he was born (7 years ago) I know at least eight Harry's who have come along since. Ds,s name is by no means unusual, but I am so glad he is not now amongst the three Harry,s in his class and the dozen or so at school. He grew into his name, and now I absolutely love it and can't contemplate him being anything else.

Bettercallsaul1 · 25/11/2013 19:12

Can you reregister a name and get a new birth certificate? Because obviously, the name you call him - and that he gets used to - must match his birth certificate or there will be a lot of confusion later in his life.

If you can't get a new birth certificate, it may be that you just have to get used to the name he already has.

I don't know the legal rules on this one.

Bettercallsaul1 · 25/11/2013 19:14

Can you reregister a name and get a new birth certificate? Because obviously, the name you call him - and that he gets used to - must match his birth certificate or there will be a lot of confusion later in his life.

If you can't get a new birth certificate, it may be that you just have to get used to the name he already has.

I don't know the legal rules on this one.

Feminine · 25/11/2013 19:20

I wanted to do this with my second son...really badly actually.

I couldn't remember his name, I never heard of it before giving it to him! Grin I let our eldest choose it from a list (he was 4)

now I'm so glad I left it. It is unusual, but short and easy to spell.

It really suits him too.

good luck op

annielouisa · 25/11/2013 19:22

I worked with a young man who had a lot of confusion in an official sense in the future. His parents had him registered in 2 names but then decided they wanted his second name as his first and switched them round.

His birth certificate is still in his original first name with the name everyone now calls him as his second name. It was fine until we came to deal with official documents where he had to use his original first name.

SugarHut · 25/11/2013 19:24

My mum changed my name when I was 16 weeks I think... people kept abbreviating it and she hated it. Doesn't bother me at all. If I knew I had given DS such a popular name then I wouldn't have called him that either. It crazes me that he continually refers to himself by his full name because the three other "Herberts" in his class all get distinguished that way.

myroomisatip · 25/11/2013 19:24

Yes I would do it. I wanted specific names for my baby if she was a girl, but when I set eyes on her I just knew those names were not right.

And with regards to a PP, my brother is known by his middle name, has never been a problem for him :)

FuzzyWuzzywasaWoman · 25/11/2013 19:25

A work colleague did this when her little girl was about 2 months old, i think her daughter is about 5 and no body even gives it a second thought now. Do what you think is best.

BohemianGirl · 25/11/2013 19:27

Because obviously, the name you call him - and that he gets used to - must match his birth certificate or there will be a lot of confusion later in his life.

I have to disagree with that. My name is X and I have always been called Y. Y is not a short, diminutive, pet version of X.

I use X on official documents but no one has ever used it in everyday speak. I doubt anyone actually knows my name is X.

If you want to call your son eg Freddie when his name is in fact Archibald, then you can do so. Its no different to any other abbreviation/pet name.

IncognitoBurrito · 25/11/2013 19:28

I changed my baby's name at 6 weeks, just before the registering cut off date. It has worked out fine. Not many comments from people. Now the old name is a distant memory. Not sure I'm glad though, as I loved the old name, too! It's such a hard decision!!

cardibach · 25/11/2013 19:31

annielouisa and myroomisatipI am called by my middle name, too, as is my dad and my sister (and my cousin, actually). I had a friend at school who was. It really isn't unusual and doesn't cause problems.

BikeRunSki · 25/11/2013 19:31

I have two friends who changed their baby's names about 3 months. One changed to middle name, one to a totally new name. Both got new bc from Registrar ( you can do this for up to a year) (same reg office for both). It was no big deal.

LambChopsRarePlease · 25/11/2013 19:44

D's name is xxx yyy surname, everyone calls him yyy, never been a problem.

LambChopsRarePlease · 25/11/2013 19:45

Sorry Dh's

Bettercallsaul1 · 25/11/2013 20:43

There's obviously no problem if your child is called by their middle name, because that is actually named on their birth certificate. In that case, you're simply choosing to use one official name rather than the other.

I think it would be strange to call your child something completely unrelated to the names on the birth certificate, for example for school entry, to prove age, or for a passport - not least to the child himself.

Nicknames are complete different because everyone knows that that is not the "proper" name.

Bettercallsaul1 · 25/11/2013 20:44

Sorry - completely

Bettercallsaul1 · 25/11/2013 20:45

But, if you can get a new birth certificate, then you should go ahead!

Floggingmolly · 25/11/2013 20:49

But you haven't actually chosen another one, have you? You just miss going through your lists Confused
You'll have to make a definite decision sometime.

Jolleigh · 25/11/2013 20:54

How late can you get a new birth certificate for a baby?