To want an apology from Vomit Friend.

[Blithereens]

Party on Saturday night, a very new friend missed her train and asked if she could stay over. I said yes, and made up the sofabed. Woke up later hearing strange noises and surmised she was being sick. I heard her being sick in the bathroom, I think maybe in the kitchen (both these places I bleached crazily as soon as she'd gone!) but I didn't realise she had thrown up all over the sofabed.

She had made some attempt at cleaning it herself, but the sofabed stinks (although I got some good tips over on the Housekeeping topic to try) and a number of our books are totally ruined. I can't afford to the replace the sofabed, and the particular books she has chosen to boak all over were gifts to DH.

All she has said about it is, "Well, this is embarrassing." She didn't tell me to what extent, and as I sit on the floor wearing rubber gloves picking vomit out of every crevice in my spare room, I can't help but feel rather narked that she hasn't said sorry! If I've been ill at other people's houses in the past (and always IN THE BLOODY TOILET) I've fallen over myself to apologise, offer to pay any cleaning bill, etc.

WIBU to email her and politely ask if she has anything to say about it?

Don't get the fury at "slut" - the term refers to a person with limited domestic skills, not just one with loose morals. If it were my sofa, I'd be calling the filthy woman a lot worse!

On no! Don't ask how much she intends to pay! Tell her how much she is going to pay you! Other than that, email = fantastic!

Horrible thing to do but I'm sure she's just absolutely mortified currently (clutching at straws). She must have been suddenly very ill and as you say, she did eventually make it to the bathroom. She needs to deal with it like an adult though, leaving it for you to try and deal with is not on.

As for the person who called her a slut. Wtf????

I was about to Say the same re slut

Sorry, agreeing with selsigfach. Google the original meaning!

Maybe she doesn't realise how bad it was?

You must be kidding, right?!
No, you are too nice....

Really disgusting behaviour, I would be cringing and offering everything to remedy it, including a new sofa.

Maybe a reminder for you not to take in every stray dick and harry....

Well of course I wasn't implying she is sexually promiscuous! How on Earth would I know that based on the OP?

Are you 12 Famzilla??

YANBU Urgh can't believe she hasn't apologised. I'd be mortified if I did that at someone's house.

My 7yo DS got vommed on in assembly and school passed me his jumper covered in caked on sick in a carrier bag at the end of the day. Nice. When the little girl came back to school she gave him a 'sorry I was sick on you card'. Suddenly the horror of scraping someone else's sick of a jumper with was gone

Casualty that is hilarious! now were would one acquire a sorry I was sick on you card lol may be wise to keep a few to hand coming up to the party season :)

Weird how she wouldn't offer to clean it etc
I am a vomit friend but thank god never on a sofa etc I would've offered to clean without a doubt!

I would give her until tomorrow -maybe Wednesday- to see if she will make contact herself once the hangover has gone. Maybe she will even send a card as per the sorry I was sick on you card

But if nothing is forthcoming by Wednesday I would definitely send the email with photos and a bill. She is cheeky mare and not worth having as a friend.

I'd have binned it casualty and bought a cheap 2nd hand replacement.

That's disgusting! Be honest with her. You did her a favour. She has cost you money. Let alone how gross she was. Ask her to replace the books and investigate whether you need to replace the sofa or get a new cover - and tell her you're doing this.

I feel reading this tread

Farewell rewards and fairies
Good housewives now may say
For now foul sluts in dairies
Do fare as well as they

Random contribution to the slut debate.

Oh yeah, I'm clearly 12 years old.

You sound lovely.

I'll never come round to any of your houses!!!
If I went to the toilet, I'd hear the click of a shotgun being cocked behind me with one of you saying, "Don't even THINK about pissing on that toilet seat"

Oh god, that's fucking gross.

I'm a bit if a vommer, have only ever vommed in other peoples toilets though! (And my own, obviously). Some kind of self preservation kicks in and I manage to get to the loo.

Defo send her an email saying the sofa bed needs to be professionally cleaned, and the biks are ruined. Wil cost £x and can she transfer it to your bank by Friday. Also say you're disappointed she didn't stay to clear up.

People who are saying they are vommers - does this mean from too much alcohol, or you have some kind of stomach condition?

I remember throwing up in someone's garden at a party. It was freezing cold & snowing. I was so pissed I couldn't have cleared it up but once I'd sobered up the next day I sent a sorry card as I felt so mortified! I couldn't imagine someone else having to clear up my vom. So she was bang out of order esp as you'd done her a huge favour. Did she thank you for letting her stay? What else did she say in the morning?

from the Oxford English Dictionary

slut, noun
derogatory
1a woman who has many casual sexual partners.
2 a woman with low standards of cleanliness.

hth

and op yanbu at all, send her an invoice for professional cleaning costs.

Eww what a dirt bag! How pissed was she that she couldn't make it to the bathroom?

I was once sick at a friends house (I'm a serious light weight) but I made it to the loo. Evidently I missed and on the morning was mortified to see that my friend had already cleaned up.

I felt so guilt and sent flowers! If I'd ruined something I'd be gutted!! Send her the bill.

I'd be furious!
Sure accidents happen but to be so disrespectful in the aftermath!

I feel guilty if I spill a drink or something let alone vomming! I'd at least expect her to offer to pay for the books she ruined and to arrange to have your sofa cleaned, and I'd be so embarrassed!

I'd be livid.
One Xmas DH went out for drinks with work and brought one of his colleagues back home to stay. I was woken by the pair of them crashing about.
In the early hours after DH had come to bed (keeping me wide awake with his drunken snoring) I heard crashing coming from the spare room. I went in and found DHs mate struggling to get to the bedroom door and had puked on the carpet. He clearly didn't have a clue where he was.
I got him a bucket, persuaded him to get back in to bed and left him to it.

I had to go to work the next morning so didn't see either of them before I left. I came home in the evening to find that the puke was still on the bedroom floor!!!
I hit the roof. DH had to go to work too (with a stinking hangover) so "didn't have time" to clean it up! His mate, who must've still been pissed apparently told DH the vomit was already there when he went to bed. Yeah, we like to leave random piles of sick around the house!

Oh yeah, one of them had fallen into the Christmas tree and had flattened that too!