To think you should expect a bit of kids noise at a matinee

[Arabesque1]

I was at a Saturday afternoon matinee of The Nutcracker Suite at the weekend. The place was hopping with excited little girls and delighted grannies bringing them for an afternoon out etc. During the performance there was no unreasonable noise but you could hear a couple of little girls in the row behind me occasionally whispering "we do that at our ballet class", or "why are they dancing in a forest" and some kids rustling sweet papers, adults giving explanations in low voices and so on. A couple of ladies in the seats behind me kept looking backwards in annoyance and one of them said "shhh" at one stage.
AIBU to think if you want a quiet grown up performance you don't choose the Saturday afternoon matinee? In the same way that if you want your children to be able to make a little bit of noise you don't bring them to an evening performance?

oh and he wasn't next to us. He was in the row in front - she wasn't squeezing past him to get to the steps...

Am still annoyed about this 5 years later

quangle

Bet his kids were little terrors too!

if it's sold as the family performance then they were being U. If they weren't made aware of that then I can understand, though it's not the fault of anyone else that they didn't know either.

I don't think you're being
unreasonable at all. I hate the attitude that to enjoy a performance you need to sit in awed silence - and that children aren't welcome until they can behave like adults. For me that's absolutely not what performance is about - after all you watch live performance with other people, if you need absolute silence, stay and watch a recording at home. If the children were engaged and were commenting on what they were watching, quietly and appropriately, then I'm sure the people who made the show would be delighted. Being loud and disruptive is a different matter but if we don't get children excited about performances from a young age, there's a genuine danger these art forms will die out. Personally, I believe people who love ballet should be happy to see little ones learning to love it too.

YABU I'm afraid. I wouldn't take my child to a ballet until I was 100% sure they were going to sit quietly. There are some performances which are deliberately shortened for a younger audience and in that case you would expect a bit of noise. For a full length performance, no.

I would rather put up with a bit of kids whispering and quiet parental explaining during a matinee performance (which I obviously incorrectly thought was mainly for kids anyway) than obnoxious adults texting and talking loudly throughout a film, being distracted by a sea of bloody lit up mobile phone screens, and super loud munching.

Yes kids should learn to be quiet when necessary, but it is a learning process (and difficult when said kids are excited). However I would expect adults to possess basic manners and stfu during a performance/film - something many seem incapable of doing.

Adults of course should not behave in that way. But nobody has said they should. You are setting up a strawman here.

Like many people, I go to matinees because they are cheaper. I love ballet, but tickets are expensive.

Yes it is a learning process for kids. But you go to a ballet when children can be quiet, and you certainly don't as a parent explain things to them during the performance. That simply encourages them to talk and engage with you.

My personal experience is that it is always families who look very well off who behave like this. As if they can't grasp that for some people this is a very expensive treat and they don't want it ruined by others.

AIBU to think if you want a quiet grown up performance you don't choose the Saturday afternoon matinee?

If you have a choice. Many people don't.

And since when did matinees belong to children?

Little kids enjoying theatre and ballet makes me very happy.
Bored teenagers on a school trip fussing round with their phones drives me fucking mad.
Either way my son is 6 and has been going to the theatre for years (it's the family business) and knows to keep quiet.

Noise in theatres and live entertainment generally is an escalating problem because so many people are unfamiliar with how to behave nowadays and yack all the way through.

And don't get me started on mobile fucking phones ......

Out of respect for both the dancers and the audience children really should be quiet at the ballet likewise at the theatre unless it is a show aimed specifically at children. Neither should they be eating/rustling wrappers etc, very off putting. If they are not able to behave then take them to panto or similar where audience participation is actively encouraged!

I don't think kids should be allowed constantly chat away in a normal tone to parents at a ballet matinee. But that isn't what the OP seems to be talking about. I get the impression it was small children whispering the odd question or remark to their mum or dad and that's quite normal. I would certainly expect it at a performance of the Nutcracker Suite on a Saturday afternoon a few weeks before Christmas. In the same way that while I'd be annoyed if I went to a restaurant at 8 o clock and was put next to a table of chattering children I, if I went to my local Italian at 6 o clock on a Saturday evening I would expect to see young families and hear kids chatting. However I would still not find it acceptable to allow kids to tear around or babies to be left screaming in high chairs..
Basically I think there's a minimum of behaviour that's acceptable and after that the time and context of an event needs to be taken into account. I think it's lovely for parents or grandparents to have an opportunity to introduce small children to ballet and Saturday afternoon matinees are that opportunity. If someone arrived into an evening performance with a 6 year old and let them whisper constantly throughout the ballet I would be furious.