To think you should expect a bit of kids noise at a matinee

[Arabesque1]

I was at a Saturday afternoon matinee of The Nutcracker Suite at the weekend. The place was hopping with excited little girls and delighted grannies bringing them for an afternoon out etc. During the performance there was no unreasonable noise but you could hear a couple of little girls in the row behind me occasionally whispering "we do that at our ballet class", or "why are they dancing in a forest" and some kids rustling sweet papers, adults giving explanations in low voices and so on. A couple of ladies in the seats behind me kept looking backwards in annoyance and one of them said "shhh" at one stage.
AIBU to think if you want a quiet grown up performance you don't choose the Saturday afternoon matinee? In the same way that if you want your children to be able to make a little bit of noise you don't bring them to an evening performance?

Not everyone has the option of attending an evening performance. If, for example, the show is in London and you live some distance away, you are pretty much restricted to a daytime performance if you don't want to stay overnight.

YANBU

whispering etc sounds fine - I agree with you re matinee distinction.

I think the Nutcracker (if it's ENO) had a lower age limit of 5 last year. I think if that is the case and there were smaller children making significant noise (i.e. more than you've described) then it would be unreasonable of parents to take them - OK to bring a 4 year old if you know they'll be quiet but only if you're very confident!

I think YAB a bit U.

My DCs knew it was impolite to talk during a performance in the theatre from age 3 onwards. If they did I shushed them.

I wouldn't go to a matinee if I could go at any other time but if I did go I'd expect parents to keep children as quiet as possible, not talk back to them.

I can see both sides of the coin with this one!

We took dd1 to watch the Russian ballet doing sleeping beauty when she was 4/5 years old. For context she has been dancing since she was two and was very well behaved but I was mortified when halfway through the second act she exclaimed in a not-so-quiet voice that the dancers "weren't that good, I can do it better!".

Luckily the lovely ladies sat behind us were enthralled with her cutesy cutesy act and even have her some sweets!

I was amazed she sat through it tbh. I remember watching a ballet as a kid and finding it terribly boring. Not my daughter, she loved it! She's 10 now and taking grade 5 exam this week. Ballet is a performance art and should be watched.

However, I can also see it being a pain for some people if they have to listen to little children nattering and swee packets rustling.

I think it depends slightly if it's a hundred little girls through a whole theatre each making one or two overexcited remarks, or one or two particular little girls not shutting up through the whole performance.

If the shushing lady was sitting in front of a particular little girl who was so overexcited she was constantly making noise and not being kept quiet by her grownups, I'm not surprised she got ratty.

YANBU. Doesn't matter whether you can't get to another one really, sat afternoon matinee is always going to be full of kiddies.

We also took dd to see sleeping beauty by the Russian ballet too :o it was AMAZING. she was 4 and loved it. There was some noise, kids whispering etc like you describe. And some people got so grumpy about it - loudly commenting during the interval. I thought this then! Why come to the matinee and then moan?!

I don't think you are being unreasonable.

I am taking my 2.6 year old to a pantomime next week but I suppose that is a bit more interactive.

Yes, I think it's unreasonable to rock up to a matinee performance and get judgey over low-level kid noise.

As a mother who chaperones sometimes, try keeping a team of 12 over excited performing kids quiet in the wings! Nightmare!

'A couple of ladies in the seats behind me kept looking backwards'

How do you know that?! Were you looking backwards, looking at them looking backwards?

Other than that, YANBU. It sounds like the children were really engaged and commenting quietly on the show, it's quite sweet.

I'm surprised anyone thinks matinees are for kids unless they're significantly cheaper ?

If I've paid £100 quid plus a ticket if expect to hear fuck all from anyone else. If they're not old enough to be completely silent then they shouldn't be there.

There should definitely be children's performances where noise is ok though for small children in training to be quiet.

Hard to say without being there, but I've been to some dire matinees - a little bit of whispering or fidgeting is fine, constantly being asked to stand up so that kids can go to the toilet mid performance and rustling of armpit-deep sweet bags is horrible.

YABU. Not everyone can get to an evening show. And as a PP said, ballet tickets are expensive. Parents may be happy to hear their own children wittering on during a show but they might be ruining for others.

Plus it's a great opportunity to teach your children that sometimes they have to sit quietly - letting them talk endlessly and irritate others around them is just teaching them to be rude, disruptive and selfish. If they're not old enough to sit quietly they shouldn't be there.

If the kids were old enough to attend a ballet class they were old enough to know to be quiet that it's bad manners to talk and disrupt others.

Sorry YAB a bit U. Mine having been going to theaters, ballet and the like since they were tiny. Any sweets get eaten in the interval only. Any talking gets 'the look'. I will happily discuss the performance and answer questions at an appropriate time.

I get ratty having to listen to adults engage with the dcs all the way through a performance. A low level question once or twice I can put up with, but more than that or paper rustling is rude.

That's not true, I've got a ballet class near me that takes them from 2!

I think for a show like a ballet the parents should make every effort to keep the children quiet, if they are old enough to go to a ballet they are old enough to keep quiet.

I do think parents sometimes expect others to put up with their childs noise too much - we went to see Peppa Pig at the weekend so of course there was noise from the children but I was very pissed off with the parents who didn't take their screaming child out when the child screamed for the whole first half and the vast majority of the second.

Sorry, I meant two ladies in the seats 'beside' me.

I take the point about everyone having paid for their tickets,but in this case all of the tickets were a lower rate as opposed to higher rate for adults and lower for children. When I enquired re this I was told it was because 'it's a family show. So the price reflects this'. Fair enough, no way should a child be allowed to talk loudly or run around during the performance and no one should bring in a baby or toddler liable to start crying during it. But this show was marketed as a family event and took place from 2.30 to 4.30 so I would have thought a bit of noise from children was okay.

I think kids should be quiet. It is not a show just for kids, which is different. And a matinee, is not a kids show either.

I think it depends what you've gone to see:

A child focused show? I'd expect some noise.

The ballet? If your dc cannot/will not keep their sweets and chat to the interval then they're not old enough to be there.

Cinema - possibly ok. Panto definitely ok. Ballet - not ok.

Its just not the place to take small children unless you're very confident in their sitting still/quiet abilities.

They've got years ahead of them to see such a show.

I've never understood why the Nutcracker is considered to be a ballet for children. It's as dull as shit!

Some people on this thread are making quite a point about children being noisy being irritating.

For me it's the old ladies that talk all the way through, or cough all the way through a performance that get on my nerves. Having been to many shows I can usually cope with the children, but rudeness from grown adults who rustle, cough and moan (yes, sat next to a couple of women who complained about the volume of the music during Carnaby street!) is hard to stomach!

Agree that matinees are for everyone but why would anyone get the grump at the occasional bit of little girl whispering? I do think people are very precious about this kind of thing. I can't bear constant chat at the cinema or texting or whatever but little girls being excited is nice, surely? Especially at a Christmassy show.

I got severely told off by a dad when I took my then 2yo to a children's puppet show on the puppet barge at Little Venice. It was a 40 minute show of Three Little Pigs and my DD was moving about a bit - not much. At one point she was sitting on the steps that ran down by the side of the seats - and then sat back on her seat. She didn't say a word or kick the seat or anything - just moved from her seat to the steps - down a couple of steps, then back again. I didn't stop her because it was a children's puppet show. Dad (with 5 yo in tow) at the end turned to me and said "well thanks very much - you RUINED that for me! Why can't you keep your child under control??" I hadn't realised the Three Little Pigs had been so important for him