To think this is creepy?

[ZowieBowie]

We had our DD christened last week. My BIL took some great photos for us of the day at our request. Today was MIL's birthday and as a gift BIL gave a framed photo of DH, DD and I...

Yabu
I think that's nice. I love photo presents

But he took the photo, he didn't go rummaging through an album and steal it. It was his photo to do as he liked with. And I think it was a nice gesture - I'd be very touched if my BIl did this.

He was 'in' it! He was the photographer!

You stood still and smiled for a minute. He checked the light, set it up, took the photo, edited it, printed it AND framed it and you think it's more about you than him?

Did you really feel used?! I dont think its creepy at all ....wish some of the miseries in our family would give gifts a little thought....

Sorry not creepy at all in fact lovely.
He took nice photos, gave nice photo to someone who would love it.

This says way more about you than him- unless there's a whole back story?

Funky
He gave the MIL a present he knew she would love of her family,which he took. Presents are about giving something the recipient would love, this was a thoughtful gift. He gave his creativity, the cost of the print and a photoframe.

My SIL has done this with pictures of DH, DC and me. My MIL loves them and I think it is a very lovely thing to do. I know she does it because she loves us and and she knows it pleases her mother. She also gets beautiful frames for the photos.

Never in a millions years would I think it is creepy.

And to not even give the OP a copy framed..cheeky

You've probably just spoilt the surprise for the ops Christmas present, Funky.

You are very odd it was a thoughtful present and I would prepare yourself to receive yours for Christmas from him btw!

I've only just started realising just how much effort goes into taking a really good picture thanks to watching my step father at work recently.

It's his hobby and he loves it. As someone who routinely chops people's heads off in photos and makes the horizon wonky it's interesting to see all the different aspects he considers when taking a picture that I just..don't

Not to mention the work he puts in afterwards editing and mounting etc...

I think regardless of the subject (and a family photo seems fine to give to other family members anyway) it's very much his work and his time that has been spent making the gift so I wouldn't find it odd at all.

creepy would be if he photoshopped himself into the photos in place of DH, or DHs ex in place of you!

what you actually describe is lovely and normal. we are making MIL a photobook for xmas - do you think I should get written consent from the other parents in the family to include pics of their Dc at family events? or would it actually be worse not to include them and make it about just my kids as if the other DGC do not exist?

sounds like a lovely thing to do.

I thought when I started reading it that it was going to be a picture of HIM holding the baby that he'd had framed.

It's certainly not creepy on any level that I can imagine, it's not ideal to do without discussing with the OP, not least because it would've been very much like a gift that the OP could've been giving her mum.

However even that was essentially no chance because the OP hadn't had them - so it's a little thoughtless to not inform, but even that if he know the OP would be there for the opening, felt it was a good chance to first show them the shot in a nice setting.

Bruffin

I know what he did. I am a photographer myself. I have taken photos at weddings, birthday parties and hundreds of small personal events. I give the photos to the people whose event it was, not their inlaws.

It's like me taking the photos for my brother's wedding [which I did] and giving my mother a framed photo for her birthday in lieu of my own present, and not giving my brother the images to look at nor asking if it was ok to do so, and not giving them a copy of the same photo.

If he'd given her his own present as well, then that's slightly different. It's like 'oh shit, I've forgotten a present, I'll just whap that photo in a frame and Bob's your'.

I'm not sure how that could be creepy? Did you want to give her a photo as a present? He took a presumably nice photo, but it in a nice frame, and gave it to his mum. I don't know why that would be creepy. Or make you feel used.

Also, my mum's house is full of pictures of me, DH and DD that other family members have taken and step dad has framed for her.

I'd think it odd if my husband wanted anyone to run it past him first.

Not creepy as such, but if I'd just had pictures taken at an event like this, at this time of year, I'd be planning on using them as Xmas presents myself so I'd be annoyed he'd taken that option away from me. However, it's not as though BIL is a professional, you had a photoshoot done and he breached any conditions linked to it - he sounds like a well meaning family member who more than likely doesn't have children and wouldn't even see this could cause upset. I'd let it go OP.

creepy would be if he photoshopped himself into the photos in place of DH, or DHs ex in place of you!

Or substituted the baby's head for his own

I can see why you would think it odd...BUT perhaps he thought that his "part" in the gift was that he shot the photo? and was proud? the gift was of you guys, one part of the family...and he took the image...the other part?

This is so very far from creepy that it is ridiculous.

I'm sorry but I completely fail to see what on earth could be the problem.

Or alternatively funky, when he looked at his own photographs he thought MIL birthday coming up, she would really like one of these. He then prints it properly, spends ages looking for just the right frame etc.

Because it was a photo of you, you feel he was overstepping the mark. He is probably proud of a lovely picture he took of a happy event with fond memories attached, and knows his mum would love it too.

Maybe my nose would be a little out of joint too but it is a nice, personal present to give.

pianodoodle "Or substituted the baby's head for his own"

That's very funny.

Still giggling

Not in the slightest bit creepy.

Not something I would be bothered about.

Did you not want your MIL to have any of the photos?