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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is creepy?

76 replies

ZowieBowie · 24/11/2013 11:01

We had our DD christened last week. My BIL took some great photos for us of the day at our request. Today was MIL's birthday and as a gift BIL gave a framed photo of DH, DD and I...

OP posts:
Original poster
ZowieBowie · 24/11/2013 11:23

Yep- that was the only gift. It would never occur to me to gift a photo of someone else without letting them know before hand.

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 24/11/2013 11:44

I'm can see where you're coming from op, maybe creepy wasn't the best choice of word. I certainly think it's a bit weird!

It would be a lovely gift if it was a photo of him and his child.

Nobody gives photos of other people as gifts surely?

FunkyBoldRibena · 24/11/2013 11:51

I'd say cheeky more than creepy but you know him, I don't!

bruffin · 24/11/2013 11:52

The rights to the photo belonged to him as the photographer. The photo msy have been but he created so even though the photo may not include there is a bit of him in as well. He can gift to who he wants. It wss a lovely selfless gift to some one who would really appreciate it.

Gruntfuttock · 24/11/2013 11:55

I think it was a lovely, thoughtful present that he felt sure she would love.
Not creepy at all and I can't imagine how your mind works that you thought it was.

bruffin · 24/11/2013 11:59

We did something similar recently.We had a hoge family get together recently where dh took lots of really lovely photos of everyone. I had a photo album made up for my MIl birthday. It nrvet occurred to me to get permission to put the pictures in the album. I dont think anyone there wiuld be so up themselves to need to be consulted about it.

TheGinLushMinion · 24/11/2013 11:59

He should have maybe mentioned it beforehand but I think you're a bit odd for finding it creepy tbh.

lalouche · 24/11/2013 12:01

Neither creepy nor weird, sorry! Lovely gesture, I'd be really pleased.

Caitlin17 · 24/11/2013 12:02

Gosh, what else do you find creepy? Not creepy at all.

Bowlersarm · 24/11/2013 12:03

Not creepy at all. I think it's very thoughtful, actually, as he was the designated photographer.

catgirl1976 · 24/11/2013 12:04

Not creepy. Nice.

pudcat · 24/11/2013 12:04

But it is a photo of his brother, her son and her GD as well as you her DIL. Nothing creepy - a lovely idea.

Bowlersarm · 24/11/2013 12:04

Agree with perhaps he could have mentioned it to you, but it obviously just didn't occur to him.

nennypops · 24/11/2013 12:04

It's his picture, he knew it was something that would give her pleasure. Not at all creepy.

BigWellyLittleWelly · 24/11/2013 12:05

I wouldn't use the word creepy but it would piss me off too.

My (estranged) sister once asked DH for a load of photos of DD1 that she'd seen on Fakebook. When we delved further into why she wanted them she said it was to make my mother a calendar for the year. My face was Hmm

SwishAndFlick · 24/11/2013 12:05

Creepy? No,thats too strong a word
But I would think it was a bit weird that he gave a pic of your family rather than one of him or at least him and your family.

ithaka · 24/11/2013 12:06

He took the picture so it was his photo & his gift to give. You sound odd.

FunkyBoldRibena · 24/11/2013 12:06

I think if it's your kids being christened, it's up to you to give photos to your MIL; and that he should buy his own present. Sure, give all the family one [you included] but not to use it as his present to her on it's own and for you to not get one.

fluffyraggies · 24/11/2013 12:22

I can sort of see where you are coming from OP.

I'm sure it was done with the best intentions ... but it's maybe a little odd to give your mother a photo of other family members as a present. Especially as the people in the photo are alive, very much present, able and likely to do this themselves.

If it were a digitally enhanced very old photo of someone who has passed, for eg. or an old photo of family when they were young, or, as mentioned up-thread, the gift was a whole album of family photos, it would seem more usual.

bruffin · 24/11/2013 12:24

Funky it was his own present
He was the photographer

CailinDana · 24/11/2013 12:27

Do you like your BIL?
If my lovely BIL did this I would be so touched, I think it's almost like a gift to both of you as he is openly and kindly acknowledging how important his brother and his family are to his mother. I would consider it very sweet - it'd probably make me cry!

FunkyBoldRibena · 24/11/2013 12:27

Funky it was his own present
He was the photographer

Yeah, I got that. The clue was in the OP.

I think he should give a present of a photo of his family, or a present that he bought himself. Not use someone else's family christening and just whap it in a frame. And to not even give the OP a copy framed..cheeky.

firesidechat · 24/11/2013 12:29

I would love it if another family member did this. I've been promising my parents some up to date family photos for ages and never seem to get round to it. If someone did it for me I would be so grateful.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 24/11/2013 12:29

No, don't think it's creepy at all.

Meid · 24/11/2013 12:29

Not creepy.
But if it were me I would be a bit put out that he didn't at least mention it. Even if just to check we didn't have a similar idea for a present.

My SIL has lots of frames photos in her home of family members that she has clearly randomly taken and not asked consent to display. The one she has of me was taken when she was visiting us once. I had just got up and am wearing my pyjamas in the photo, yet it is framed and in her lounge on display.

I guess some people don't realise that it is nice to just run it past the person in the photo that they would be okay.

At the end of the day, it seems he meant well.