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Original poster

To tell my dd the truth about Father Christmas?

30 replies

uptheanty · 24/11/2013 07:10

My dd is 10 and she truly believes.

Last year parents talked to their children in her class so as not to ruin it for her, nothing to do with me I should say, some friends told me about it later.

The problem is everyone in her year are non believers and everyone knows that my dd believes. She is not a naive girl and people find it astonishing.

The problem is I keep imagining Sue from the middle who gives a presentation on unicorns to the whole class, then being furious with her parents for not telling her they didn't exist.

Is it time to tell her?

OP posts:
SatinSandals · 24/11/2013 07:17

Has she never asked any questions about logistics, fireplaces etc?

londonrach · 24/11/2013 07:23

As its so close to xmas id let her have this last one. Maybe before secondary school. You sure she does believe.

Bearandcub · 24/11/2013 07:23

Why? You can bet anyone in her class has told her what actually happens. She has chosen to believe instead. Let her.

Original poster
uptheanty · 24/11/2013 07:27

Yes, she used to. We do all the usual stuff, she writes a letter and we organise a telegraph reply. We sprinkle glitter and pays around our building ( wherever we are) on Xmas eve, so the reindeers can see where she is from the sky.

We do a lot of fun stuff and we're not sure if she does know but thinks if she tells us then we'll stop. Or if she suspects and she vocalises it Father Christmas might just be real and he won't come anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
uptheanty · 24/11/2013 07:30

*porridge

I've heard her argue with friends who have challenged her, she gets really quite indignant.

OP posts:
SatinSandals · 24/11/2013 07:31

I can't believe that someone hasn't told her, I expect she chooses to believe. You could stress that he still comes to unbelievers and you can still do fun stuff. He gave stockings in our house to teenagers and I track him on NORAD on Christmas Eve.

saintmerryweather · 24/11/2013 07:33

i would carry it on for this year then tell her in a couple of months

Mia1415 · 24/11/2013 07:33

Are you really sure she does believe?

I can remember not believing for years before I actually admited to my parents I knew the truth. I just didn't want to spoil the magic & I guess I was worried the traditions would stop. Needless to say they didn't :-)

Id let her have another year

CoffeeTea103 · 24/11/2013 07:44

I would tell her after this Xmas. You might find that she will even tell you herself that she doesn't believe. Hopefully the kids are not having a go at her behind her back though.

GampyWabbit · 24/11/2013 07:48

I wouldn't tell her now - it could spoil Christmas for her Hmm. I found out he wasn't real when I was around that age and it was never quite as exciting and special once I knew Hmm. My dd is 10 and has made a few 'I know he's not real' comments, to which I reply, 'of course he is!'

iHateMrTumble · 24/11/2013 07:52

I'd worry that someone will take the piss in class if their mum has said to them your dd believes so shhhh don't tell her.
Maybe you did such a good job with the magic how could it not be true.
If it were my child I'm not sure if I'd slow down on the special effects and let it dawn in her or tell her outright.
Do you have younger dc? could be fun to get her to help put it on for them like shes in the exclusive big girls club for ppl in the know.

Retroformica · 24/11/2013 08:02

Can you make it a bit less obvious this year. For example let her pick some things on amazon while you are on the computer and later find them in her xmas sack.

I think you will have to tell her this summer if she still believes. She needs to know before secondary. Promise her all the traditions will carry on and maybe she could organise a stocking for you and her dad?

Original poster
uptheanty · 24/11/2013 08:07

I'm dreading the run up to Xmas at school, she's quite proud and I can see her defending FC's honour again..

I'll try and squeeze another year out but if its becoming an issue then I'll have to bite the bullet and tell all.

We don't have any younger children, dd is the youngest!

OP posts:
phantomhairpuller · 24/11/2013 08:10

I remember my parents having to tell my younger brother the truth, the year he went up to secondary school.

They tried to make it obvious- dad was left in charge of the stockings as mum was working overnight. He buggered it up royally!! My presents in brothers stocking and visa versa. He maintains it was intentional!!

My bother, bless him, still didn't get it! So they told him Christmas morning once he'd opened all his presents.
He was fine about it and actually said it made a lot more sense once he knew the truth WinkGrin

thebody · 24/11/2013 08:15

we'll millions of adults believe in a God controlling us all so it's not that strange really is it?

I would ease up on the glitter and all the other stuff, put some presents under the tree and tell her these are from relatives and just ease up on mentioning santa at all.

take her shopping for gifts for other people.

if she asks you outright tell her the truth. She needs to hear it from you and not friends really?

at 11 my dds started periods!! think on.

SatinSandals · 24/11/2013 08:20

Surely relatives give presents anyway? Confused

SatinSandals · 24/11/2013 08:21

Surely at 10 yrs she buys presents for you?

mammyemcbe · 24/11/2013 08:23

Dd1 was 10 last year and she totally went along with all the Santa stuff it was only a few months ago she told me she knew it was me and dh but didn't want to say anything. Dd2 is almost 10 and she still says she believes. Im sure she'll say the same as dd1 next year that she knew the truth. But if they enjoy the ritual around Santa and Christmas I say let them enjoy it.

Original poster
uptheanty · 24/11/2013 08:26

Dd knows adults buy children gifts and we buy for each other, but she thinks the sack under the tree ( from us) on xmas morning is from FC.
thebody

My eldest was pretty late knowing also, she didnt start her period until she was 14 (i thought this was young), but she told me her pe teacher said "wow, thats pretty late ---""? Confused

It is a bit unusual, i understand as my dd is quite mature in lots of other ways...?

OP posts:
thebody · 24/11/2013 08:27

not if it leads to friends taking the piss out of her at school. she won't thank you for that.

thebody · 24/11/2013 08:29

I bet if you did tell her she would still enjoy it as much!

after all we all do.Grin

VikingVagine · 24/11/2013 08:31

I told 10yo DS last year about a month before Xmas, huuuuuuge mistake, just wait until January, then she'll have all year to get used to the idea.

As another poster said, millions of people! including adults, believe in God, which is just as ridiculous as believing in Santa Claus IMO .

Lilacroses · 24/11/2013 08:35

Not sure if I would tell her this year but I would tell her. I really don't agree with denying it if asked directly at this age. Not quite sure what starting your periods has anything to do with it but my Dd started hers at 9 poor kid!

Original poster
uptheanty · 24/11/2013 08:43

lilacroses

Thebody mentioned that her dd started her periods at 11 in order to demonstrate ( i think ), how quickly they can change and mature. I think she was suggesting that it's not doing my dd any favours to not assist her in a more mature outlook at this stage.

But 9 Shock, thats a lot to deal with for such a lttle girl. Thanks

OP posts:
iHateMrTumble · 24/11/2013 08:46

I don't think its a sign of immaturity that she believes something that everyone has told her since forever.

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