To be fed up of parents letting their 10/11 year olds play 16 & 18 certificate video games?

[Audilover]

DS1 is 10 and threw a paddy tonight because we won't let him play Xbox games that have 16 and/or 18 certificates.
He has always said that his friends are allowed to play them but we've always taken that with a pinch of salt.
He has Xbox live so he can play with his friends all of whom are around the same age as him. Out of the 15 online friends that he has, at least 7 of them are online playing Call Of Duty or other 18 certificate games.
We are as strict on video games as we are on DVD's but we feel we are fighting a losing battle as so and so's parents let them play them.
Our 17 yr old DD is allowed to play 18 certificates as she will be 18 in 3 months time but she certainly wasn't allowed to play them at 10 years.

My DS 10 plays such games at his friends house. He is not allowed them at home as he has a younger brother who is 8. We allow games upto age 12 and he knows this. Tantrum or not he's not getting them. My house my rules. What someone else does in their home I have no control over. Stick by yours guns (no pun intended) - you know what is right for your child.

YANBU, this is something that really pisses me off.

It's not even about the games and the age ratings as much as it is about the fact that I don't want to send the message to my children that it's ok for them to just ignore rules that have been set by people that are supposed to know what they're talking about.

If they are led to believe that it's ok for them to play 18 games at 13 years old, then it wouldn't be a huge leap for them to make to assume that the age for smoking is set too low, the age for buying alcohol is set too low, there is no need for certain drugs to be illegal.

I appreciate I will sound like I'm over reacting, but I do think that that DVDs and computer games are the thin end of the wedge.

I have allowed my dc to play one game that they are underage for (can't even remember what it's called now!) but they did the whole 'it's not fair - everyone else is allowed to play' thing. And it turned out they were right, quite a few of their friends were allowed to play. I made them explain to me why they thought this particular game was rated too high, and they were able to find lots of opinions on the Internet from sensible people who also thought the game was rated too high. They had to explain why it was given the rating it was, because I wanted them to understand that rues are there for a reason and they have to be respected, but also that if they have good reasons for challenging those rules then that's ok too.

But I resent that I am the one that is made to look unreasonable in the eyes of my children because of other parents making choices that go against well thought out guidelines.

So how does that make the content worse?

It doesn't.

Controlling the characters is different to watching them do it.

I'm also not sure it's appropriate for a 10-year-old to watch 18 rated films neither btw. I watched 18 rated films when I was underage, but I was a teenager rather than a 10-year-old.

Exactly, Kungfubustle. I'm playing Need For Speed Hot Pursuit, and while I hate dangerous driving in real life, I still enjoy the game and it certainly won't make me sympathise with street racers. Playing a role doesn't make you into the character.

I do think that games are a bit different to films, in that you take on the character.

Exactly.

My sister lets her 10 year old play them- up to a 16 cert. I like video games and she doesn't so maybe that's why I would be less liberal about letting them play certain games- I don't think she has a clue what's in them and doesn't care as long as it keeps him quiet and he appears cool to his mates. It was abit unsettling to watching a 10 year old spend 15 minutes before school blowing the heads off stuff.
However when I was babysitting him and his friends I made them turn it off the new Call of Duty because there was so much swearing and there was a 5 year old and an 8 year old in the room. The irony is the other day she took she took great delight in telling me off for saying 'arse' in front of the kids. She has been told about the language by their granny but she doesn't care.

You might empathise with a film character, you might empathise with a game character. You might find either repugnant. Your sense of judgement isn't overwritten because it's a game.

I'm a gamer, I play a game before I decide if DS can play. I'll be trusting my own judgement of my own child, if your child has a tantrum that is not my problem or my business.

Like JC I have never had my gaming spill over, expect when I bawled like a child when Cortana died.

I'm still not getting the control is worse than watching, films are done with the intent of you empathising with the character, I don't think you connect more or less with either one. If you don't allow higher certs then don't allow them, but by giving DS a controller I'm not grooming him into joining UNSC or becoming ruler of Albion.

Its none of your business what other parents do when it comes to games and dvds. I certainly make my own choices when it comes to DS and not allow others to alter them.

Some parents let their children play out alone from three, others walk to school as soon as they hit juniors. Neither of which i would do but we all have different ideas.

I don't let mine, but DS knows some boys in his class that do.

He thinks playing this games at age 10/11 ( he is year 6) makes them more wild/violent at playtime.

I am not sure I believe that, but glad he does, as it stoos him asking!

I agree OP.

My son has been playing them for ages, he's 18 now. He had an older brother who has left home, so would watch him. I basically went the path of least resistance, but was always keeping an eye out for violent behaviour in real life, and if he'd shown any, that would have been games gone. He prefers FIFA football to be honest, and plays real football.

I know how's friends parents, there's a big crowd of about 25 of them that all went to school together, and I remember phoning and asking a parent if they were ok with their child watching a 15 rated film at my house. The kids were 12/13 at the time, and the response was yep he is allowed to watch 18s too!

Your sense of judgement isn't overwritten because it's a game.

Who said it would be?

The last COD (not Ghosts, the one before that) was so bad that I couldn't watch DH play it. I have blown up Reapers, slain Archdemons, fought Locusts and Covenant and the Flood, but COD made me feel sick.

There is a scene in London, a mother and daughter reuniting with their husband/father. A bomb goes off and kills them. That got to me more than any game I've ever played - and I'm old enough to play it. So if it does that to me, how will it affect a child? Someone without the emotional maturity to handle it? This is why they have age ratings.

Who said it would be?

Everyone saying that it's worse than film because you're in control, because you 'take on' the character.

I love horror films. I can handle all sorts of violence, blood and gore when it's in the form of a film and it doesn't effect me. However I've played violent video games before and found them very unsettling. I couldn't put my finger on why for the longest time. I can handle just about anything in films so why couldn't I handle them in a game? If you can handle it in one medium then logically you should be able to handle it in another, right?

After thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that I find games unsettling because I was the one who was carrying out the violence. Well not me personally obviously but I was the one who was controlling the character and making him do it, as oppose to just watching an actor playing a character carrying out these things.

You might not think it makes a difference, but I think it does. If I get unsettled by these games as an adult, then it's not completely unbelievable that a 10-year-old child might get unsettled too. Obviously not all.

I didn't let my 10 year olds play, but I don't think it's any of my or your business to be cross about what other people let their DC do when they are in their own home.

Everyone saying that it's worse than film because you're in control, because you 'take on' the character.

That's certainly not what I'm saying.

I do think playing violent games is different to watching violent films, partly because you are in control and take on the character like you said. It's not because I think this is more likely to alter your judgment though.

I've partly summed up why I do think playing violent games and watching violent films is different in my previous post.

n00bs

I think there's an enormous difference between adults whose brains have stopped developing (finishes around age 21) playing hyper violent/dangerous games, and children who are still developing being exposed to age inappropriate material which may (and we still dn't know but why take the risk) dramatically alter their brain make up.

There is plenty of time for this stuff when they are grown up.

Personally I believe it's neglect. It's opting out of parental responsibility, and to me is the same as letting your kids smoke, drink or have sex under age.

My sister has about 3 rated 18 games and shes 13, she knows they arent real, but i guess it depends on the child.

I've been playing those kind of games since my early teens and i hate violence!!!!

There is a difference between a 13 year old and 10 year old. I'm not sure what you mean by she knows they arent real, but i guess it depends on the child. Are you implying that some 13 year olds wouldn't know they're not real? Quite frankly, if there are some 13 year olds who don't know a game is not real then that's very worrying. I'm sure none of them actually do though.

I find it the other way around to you, CogsworthAndJerry, I can't watch horror films, I find theeffects and make up they use a bit too close to reality. It's probably just personal preference and personality. I do see what you mean now about them being different, I was conflating your argument with those who think that the same content is much worse and more influential if it's in a game. I can see why people wouldn't want to act it out even if they don't mind watching it, even if I'm the other way around.