To want family to help us with dd?

[Cantsleep]

Dd2 needs injections min four times a day (diabetes)

It is nearly a year since she was diagnosed and only dh and I can do her injections. This makes it difficult as one of us always has to be with her. We are exhausted and would dearly love some time as a couple occasionally.

I have asked dsis and DM would they learn to do her jabs but they have refused. DM recently attended a meeting with diabetes team with me a month ago and said " I will be learning so that dd and her dh have somebody else who can do it" but ebverytime I've offered to show her she doesn't want to know.

We have other dcs who are ill and we just desperately need a break. Sil offered I aug to learn but each time I've invited her round since then she's too busy.

We are at breaking point, we need a break. I wish somebody in one of our families would help us.

AIBU to want this?

Hi cantsleep, I'm T1 diabetic, and have been since 1983 - I was 6 (old now, 36!)... I can well imagine what you are going through, and how relentless it seems, and I'm sure my parents had a really tough time of it when I was young and diagnosed. At the time I had 2 long acting injections a day as Dragon mentioned - they're still injections you do yourself at home, but means your food intake is slightly restricted to fit the insulin taken.

I think I was able to do my own jabs aged six (on occasion, my mum probably did most of them), so there's a chance your DD will be able to learn to in time for when she's not with you - but I'd really push for a pump if you can.. I only got one 2 years ago, and it's revolutionalised my life & my sugar levels. Yes there's a bit of a learning curve to get to grips with it, but once you know how it's so much easier than injections. It's also, I believe, less scary for others as there's no injecting and the delivery of insulin is so simple... hopefully your DM would be a bit more willing once she saw how easy it was to dial up a dose and press a button. I'm not sure what hospital your DD goes to for check ups, but where I was they taught me over three weekly sessions how to use it, and the DSN called me every day to talk through my sugar readings.

I change my infusion set (ie the cannula and tubing) about once every 3 days, so it's a lot less onerous than 4 jabs a day. I also have a little needle cannula rather than the plastic one, again it causes no issues, wouldn't know it was there. I don't know what difference there is with pumps for children, but I'd definitely get yourself armed with all the info you can... have you been in touch with Diabetes UK? They might be able to offer info about respite etc...

Sorry this is long - but I do understand how stressful it is dealing with your DDs diabetes, and you do need support! I wish you all the very best with her care... do PM me if you have any questions!

I don't know much about diabetes, so apologies if this is off beam, but have experience of paediatric community nursing teams. I understand they are different in each area, so it also might depend where you live. But, the team in our area will come round to do an injection. Even though we are trained we sometimes ask them to come round to treat our DCs (IV antibiotics) so we can have someone untrained babysitting. It's a lifesaver and in my experience they see enabling families to function as part of their role. We were referred to them via our hospital team. I'm not sure if you can get this kind of nursing support privately.

In sounds like you need a solution you can be in control of.

Good luck.

Cantsleep. I always notice your threads and I often post on them (I am a namechanger so you won't recognise me ) You have such a lot on your hands, I am not surprised you would like some time out.

I think you and your DH should make an effort to go out even if it is without each other.

Is there a reason you can't go out after you DDs last injection? I know 8 is late but you could always go for a quick bite and a pint at the local pub?

I also think you need to accept that your family don't want to do the injections. Of course it would be nice if they volunteered to do it but you can't force them. It is as though you are continually setting yourself up to be disappointed by your family. Your DM isn't suddenly going to change her personality.

YANBU to want help. Unfortunately, it's near impossible to make other people help even when they are family.

I am pretty sure I recognise you from previous threads under a different name and I have posted on those. You have such a lot on your plate, can social services or Health visitor or even homestart help?