To be unsure about childrens party etiquette after the event

[catgirl1976]

DH thinks I was U

DS was 2 today and we had a party for him at my parents. Bouncy castle, music, food, bubble machine, pinata etc

Was lovely

Some people brought presents which was really kind of them. I thanked them for doing so but didn't open the presents at the party.

My reasoning was

a) There was so much going on there wasn't really time
b) It seems graspy to me to start tearing off wrapping paper and seeing what people have given
c) DS is very young and might not have shown interest in the presents or wandered off
d) The other children present were also very young and might have been bored or upset that the presents were not for them

We opened them at home after the party and I will be sending thank you cards to everyone

DH thinks it was rude not to have opened the presents there and then so people could have seen DS's reaction

Is he right?

I have also been fretting that I didn't serve alchohol (to the adults obviously). I did feed them and provide endless hot drinks and soft drinks but I didn't think a 2 years olds party was a drinking sort of thing and I had already spent as much as I could afford. No one brought alchohol so I am guessing they didn't expect it, but it has been niggling me I have been a bad host not to offer wine or beer...........

It is a cultural thing. Is your DH Dutch by any chance?

At a Dutch children's birthday party presents are opened immediately and the giver thanked immediately.

My Dutch friend living in England thought it beyond bizarre that gifts were put to one side to be opened after the party. She found it hysterical that a receipt would then arrive at her home a few days later thanking them for the gift!

Worry, in the part of Holland I lived in til I was five it was taken a step further and they played a game of hunt the presents. All the presents were hidden around the house and a tedious game ensued where the birthday child entertained everyone by searching for them and each one was opened with much fanfare and pomp. My mother was most disappointed I chose not to restart that particular tradition of embarrassment

Oh Christ, that's so, so Dutch.

I do miss the chocolate letters at Christmas and the decadently decorated easter bunnies though. They don't do things by halves

My parents once hired someone to deliver my sinter klaas presents while we were sitting down to dinner. I was convinced for years it was actually him Plus double bonus, my mom is Irish so I got Santa presents on the 25th too

The only party I have ever seen the presents opened was mum had just had a baby so Dad was in charge of party...

I think relax and enjoy it next year... I have never offered alchohol at party....but do always have one myself afterwards

The thing I remember most from our time in Holland was when DC went to a party, after the party was over a car would appear at my home filled with about 200 similarly aged children. The party host mother would leap out of the car, reach into the heap of children and pull out a rather crumpled version of the child I had said goodbye to a couple of hours earlier.

Always better to open pressies after the party for all the reasons you said

And no booze needed at 2yr parties :)

Relax :)

Oh I do like the idea of the children being delivered home. When we were there all the parties were very pompous whole family affairs with posh cake and mingling. Even as a 4 year old I was aware of how stuffy and boring it was. When we were back visiting when I was older it was better as us kids would escape en-masse and disappear off down to the park for hours. Dutch parents are remarkably unconcerned as to their children's whereabouts!

Op, sounds right on both accounts.
My DDs are 9 and 11. All these years, I do same as you did, and for same reasons. Presents opened once guests gone home, and no alcohol. (If MIL staying over, we crack open the alcohol once guests gone home...)

All correct OP but just quietly I hate thank you notes. Especially ones with the gift named on them.

You got it right. Only an insane person would open presents for one two year old in front of a group of other two year olds. I've been there and it was not pretty.

And besides, you need a good distraction for your child once they realise that the party is over to avoid the hysterical meltdown that is "I don't want to go home, I'm not tired and I am not on a sugar high"

I really want to go to some Dutch parties now. They sound really different......... :)

Catgirl you can go to Sinter Klaas for me then next week. All you have to do is write a poem about a family member allocated to you in secret, which pokes fun whilst being gushing affectionate at the same time, which also sets the scene for your joke present, which must also be wrapped in a 'creative and witty' manner.

Then once again you must endure the tutting about how you've used Christmas paper not Sinter Klaas paper again to wrap your real presents. Make an effort, honestly.

And don't for god's sake point out that blacking up is monumentally inappropriate in the 21st century.

Groan.

Rhubarb

I'm getting all homesick now

Rhubarb

Wow..........maybe not then...........that sounds like it requires an awful lot of to get through

We always open presents there and then, and always serve alcohol for adults.

But I go to many parties where it happens exactly as you did, and we enjoy ourselves have a good time, feel grateful to the hosts for having us and don't worry that they have done things differently!

I never let my DS open presents at a party - time consuming and potentially embarrassing .

Of course it is not necessary to offer wine at a childrens' party although I always needed it myself as party organiser.

Never open presents then and there (partly incase of repeat presents)

You were not being unreasonable to not offer alcohol

Oh yes,dutchies open presents at the party, with immediate thank yous and no cards afterwards. With my friends, we don't really notice who gives what, so no awkwardness among the guests. Most parties i've been to so far, are parties for friends and family, and are seen as an opportunity to catch up with each other. DC birthday is more the "excuse" for the party IYSWIM. We usually have drinks, but wouldn't miss it at all, given that at least half the people need to drive their family home.

I've never had a repeat present in all my years of having children's parties, even with 20 odd guests at a time. I just think shoveling presents into a black bin bag is the height of rudeness but I'm obviously in a minority on this one!

After the time DD opened two Bratz dolls, looked horrified, and declaimed loudly (in the tone of voice of one confronted with a steaming fresh turd) "oh, Bratz. We don't have those in our house, they are skanky" and walked away, we don't open presents until everyone has gone...
I console myself with the thought that my SiL thought I was weird anyway

Have had few repeats and as pombear says it's more to stop the whole

"But that's not the one I wanted"

Also depends on the party IMO, family or close friends is great to open them, on occasions were you are somewhere like lazerquest or soft play it's quite hard to have a mammoth present opening session. At one two hour party my daughter had 24 guests it would have taken valuable playing time to open all of them