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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To really want to have both Xmas and birthday presents even tho my bday is 29 December?

71 replies

Scarletohello · 22/11/2013 22:25

Ok so just to state this is not about me being materialistic, it's more about fairness. As a kid I often got joint bday and Xmas presents and as an adult because my bday is so near Xmas I simply feel like I don't have a bday. I'm so jealous of people who have their bday in the summer and have a picnic or something equally lovely whereas mine is just overlooked. Also, I buy my friends am Xmas an bday present but with me I either get one or the other. It's not about the present just want an acknowlement that I have a fucking birthday!!!

Don't think there's really anything anyone can say that will help me but just wanted a bit of a rant....

OP posts:

patienceisvirtuous · 23/11/2013 09:15

Very sorry for your loss FoD

This thread is quite cathartic for me. My birthday is near Christmas and what bugs me is that in my close group of friends (there is seven of us) we always go out and celebrate each others birthdays and make a big fuss - usually lunch on a Saturday which turns into cocktails until early evening - however, come my birthday most can't make it. "It's my work Christmas party that day" etc. I usually get my card and gift at our Christmas meet up a fortnight later.

I would stop making an effort for their birthdays out of principle but I actually enjoy them so don't want to cut my nose off to spite my face :o

I tried to suggest something early December this year but to no avail again. My friend had the cheek to say, we should plan your birthday in September and celebrate it in November. No thanks, I would rather just forget it than shove it elsewhere to convenience others.

Retropear · 23/11/2013 09:21

Yanbu

I probably go overboard re dd to make it special just because of this.

Dd's bday is the 30th (celebratory no mans land).Everybody is partied out after Xmas and taking it easy the day before NYE.

She ends up doing better than the other 2 present wise though.

Retropear · 23/11/2013 09:22

I make sure of it.

jamdonut · 23/11/2013 09:23

My DD is the 2nd January. We've always tried to separate it out for her. She insists we leave Xmas decorations up until at least the day after her birthday because it makes her feel special!!

AlexTurnersmicropone · 23/11/2013 09:27

My birthday is also 29th December and you are definitely not being unreasonable, my family are great, but to others it's an after thought or totally forgotten.

smallandimperfectlyformed · 23/11/2013 09:33

YADNBU! My birthday is the 30th as well and it was especially crap when I was at school, all the classmates had gone away to see family etc. My mum always made a special effort, can't believe MrsTerryPratchett's inlaws are so mean to her sister in law. I hope you have a lovely birthday when it comes, and all my other December birthday brethren young and old!

superbagpuss · 23/11/2013 09:36

I am 23 and my sister is 20 DEC
one year we had a half year BBQ in June

yes to the annoying presents wrapped in Christmas paper (one year a carrier bag)

my dh makes a special event for me so it doesn't get forgotten

it is hard thinking of two lots of presents each year and often get experiences or vouchers I can use throughout the year

superbagpuss · 23/11/2013 09:38

fod we are birthday twins

I will be thinking of you a month today

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 23/11/2013 09:38

Yanbu.

My dds birthday is the 30th.......one year my entire family forgot

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 23/11/2013 09:42

My dds birthday is the 30th.......one year my entire family forgot

How sad, my friends mum has her birthday on 24th and people still remember.

mrsjay · 23/11/2013 09:54

that is a shame nobody recognised your birthday must have been pants my cousin is Christmas day she said she hated it , and you can never get a decent birthday card in december YANBU

MushroomSoup · 23/11/2013 11:09

My DD is a Xmas day birthday and is now a teenager. We have separate birthday and Christmas rooms! All the family start the day in the bday room (after --tat- stockings upstairs!) and we hit birthday in a big way - balloons, banners etc.
then Christmas begins!
Xmas dinner and birthday cake. Separate gifts from all the family, wrapped appropriately.

mumofbeautys · 23/11/2013 11:28

my twins birthday is the 25th of dec so really hard to separate the 2. they have separate presents ones wrapped in xmas paper and ones in bday paper but far from that it really does just turn in to xmas day as they couldn't give a dam which presents are for what by the time they finish lol

Weeantwee · 23/11/2013 11:37

YANBU. My birthday is 3rd January. Nobody remembers it because of Christmas, then New Year. Nobody ever wants to help me celebrate in any way because they are skint, worn out etc. Or what they do suggest is 'oh, why don't you just combine your birthday with New Years eve celebrations? It's practically the same'

My mum wrapped my birthday present in Christmas paper last year. She should have known better, her birthday is the 27th December!!!

Mutley77 · 23/11/2013 11:45

Yanbu. I am really pleased that my Dd is 8 (nearly 9) and still doesn't see her birthday as a bad thing. It is the bloody 25th!

I have always done her party in mid jan so everyone comes and we are v lucky that a lot of close friends and family really make the effort for her.. (ie separate presents and birthday wrapping etc).

We do celebrate on her birthday as she likes that. There is a special time for her presents (after stocking but before breakfast) and a cake in the afternoon.

I hope Dd continues to feel special on her birthday. And I will definitely make the effort and encourage those around her to do the same.

BigFatGoalie · 23/11/2013 11:50

I was due on Christmas Day but my mum had me induced because she didn't want to be in hospital on Christmas Day!
But my cousin is the 24th and so our parents made it very clear to all the very large family that we should both get TWO presents and have our special days. And to this day, we are both in our 30's, the rule still applies! Must say, I am very grateful.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 23/11/2013 11:53

My DH made the mistake of buying me a combined birthday and valentines present. My birthday is the day before. He never did it again!

Retropear · 23/11/2013 11:55

They wanted dd's ecs to be on NYE but I begged and they fitted us in on the 30th.

Aniseeda · 23/11/2013 12:05

My Gran's birthday was the 29th December and we always got her two presents and wrapped one up in birthday paper. It's really not that hard - you just add another present to the list of things you are buying anyway, in some ways easier than making a special trip for a birthday present at another time of year.

ohmeohmyforgotlogin · 23/11/2013 12:10

Me, DM and dd all have birthdays near Xmas and it's anniversary on 30th. I'm not that bothered really but am struggling to make DMs boxing day 70th special. my mum did forget once, in Oz on camping holiday for Christmas week and she lost track of what day it was. I sulked all morning till she figured it out and made amends.

Oh and happy birthday

NoelOfLorst · 23/11/2013 12:16

My birthday is the 27th Dec. My close family have always given me cards and presents, but yeah, in terms of celebration it's a bit of a non event.

I can't say it's ever bothered me really, I suppose what you've never had you don't miss?

For me, the annoying thing is that if I'd have been born 4 days later, I'd have a later birth year which would make me feel younger

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