To ask the best excuse your DC have for not staying in bed

[ocelot41]

So far this eve aside from 'I'm too hot/cold/thirsty/want another cuddle/need a wee' we have had the creative 'There's a Frog Monster Behind the Door', the surreal 'Aliens have stolen my Treasure', the plaintive 'my heart is BROKEN' and the uber-indignant 'But I have ONE wet sock..'

I am torn between being quite impressed at how inventive he can be and ready to throttle him just so I can eat some pizza! What are the best ones yours come out with?

"But mummy I am ever so lonely and alone, all by myself"

"I'm too sad to sleep and the tears are keeping me awake" despite not crying.

"Aargh, aargghhh the fish are eating me" (very creepy episode where she screamed and dodged the fish for half an hour, I think she was sleepwalking maybe)

Not an excuse to not stay in bed but best attempt at being sneaky has to be DD then aged 5, sneaking down the hall and when being told to go straight back to bed put on the deepest voice she could and said "this isn't DD this is Daddy...." followed by loads of giggling. How that plan didnt work I dont know

I look back on my pre-DC days and I was GENUINELY convinced that you had a rough time up to three months and then 11-12 hours snooze per night

Yeah, that sounds familiar. I remember when pregnant wondering how on earth I was going to cope with 6 weeks of broken nights. You know, till things settled down

'I can't go to sleep incase I puke and I want to be awake for that so I can go downstairs and watch telly when I am done.' It all stems from DD2 being allowed downstairs when she was sick last week whilst I remade the bed!

when one came running out of his room with a bloody curdling scream shouting that a monster had just jumped out of the wardrobe and it had fangs and everything...scared me senseless and am still walk quickly past his wardrobe...I let him stay up for bit actually

You said I could keep my socks on in bed tonight if I wanted to but when I got ready for bed I took them off!

Was the latest indignant midnight complaint here.

"It's too dark"

Son age 6 - I can't sleep because I don't have a cat to cuddle up to, can you go outside and find me one?..
Mmm yeah let's just take in any old stray for the night.

dc1 'my tongue keeps getting stuck in my wobbly tooth'

Why are you out of bed DD? 'I'm 5, I'm supposed to get out and play'

Noswing Genius! THAT'S where I have been going wrong!

This evening we had "No! You do NOT need to eat! You do NOT need to sleep!' (at top of voice) 'YOU ARE A MUMMY!!!

Sniffer. Says it all really....

*Sniffer...Damn predictive texting....

Argh! *Snigger.....

My ds3 has just gone into a be this week from his cot and is living it! This morning he got up really early and came running into the bedroom. When asked why he had got out of bed he said "because Im a big boy and I can!!" Couldn't really argue with that.

"I'm being witch" brilliant, explains it all really.

Dd 6yo tells me when the lights go out, it makes her think how really real she is and it freaks her out.

Ds - I have a dirty neck, it needs washing (he had just had a bath!)

We've had "my duvet is too soft" and "I miss my fish". Said fish died over a year ago.

I've had- my bed doesn't fit and my eyes keep pinging open.

DD is now 15 I go into her room pigsty to wake her up in the morning only to be told that it verges on child abuse to deprive her of 10 more mins in bed.

My DS got up at 5am today and got in bed with me. Tonight I told him not to get in my bed too early and he said

"It's not my fault you're so warm and comfy"

'I've come to check the radiator.'

He even brought a radiator bleeding key with him to back up his story.

DD: My singing is keeping me awake (standing at the top of the stairs)
Me: Well stop singing then
DD: I can't sleep without singing
Me: (this was the final part of a long I can't sleep) The one thing I know for certain is you won't go to asleep if you are not lying in your bed.

DD came up with a new one today, "I don't like the animals on my duvet, they don't have mouths". She has a lovely farm themed duvet cover with innocuous animals on it.