To ask the best excuse your DC have for not staying in bed

[ocelot41]

So far this eve aside from 'I'm too hot/cold/thirsty/want another cuddle/need a wee' we have had the creative 'There's a Frog Monster Behind the Door', the surreal 'Aliens have stolen my Treasure', the plaintive 'my heart is BROKEN' and the uber-indignant 'But I have ONE wet sock..'

I am torn between being quite impressed at how inventive he can be and ready to throttle him just so I can eat some pizza! What are the best ones yours come out with?

DH was away, DS said, 'Would you like me to company you?' How could I say no to that?

It's not just me then? I look back on my pre-DC days and I was GENUINELY convinced that you had a rough time up to three months and then 11-12 hours snooze per night unless you weren't getting the bedtime routine right (I know, I know I was an idiot...)

Its morning time!!!! (at 7pm. We had fucked up the gro clock)

Dd hates lights on when she's in bed - even a night light. She also has to have the door open. She has blackout curtains.

In the summer we get complaints that we won't turn the sun off.

In the winter we get complaints that it's too dark (but she hates any light)

'Sleeping is boring'.

This is her latest one. My reply is that sleep is supposed to be boring.

Tonight (still ongoing) I have 'I feel too ill to sleep'. She has a bad cold with sinus discomfort and cough. Even now she is on the stairs saying that she's tried to go to sleep for 2 minutes and it's not working.

Also ds hates the dark and has to have a night light or similar and the door open. Their rooms are next to each other.

It's fun.

I love the "I'm being a witch", it made me laugh. Mines still only 11m so I have all this to look forward to, although for the first time he decided to babble as I was putting him to bed. I like to think he was saying "good night" and "love you" back to me!

Armadillo Feel your pain. We had many nights of "MUMMY TURN THE LIGHTS OFF" when the clocks went forward. Now of course we've had to buy stacks of night lights because it's too dark.

Nah Custard - he was saying his ears needed cuddling...or he wants to play horsey... or he's alarmed at the prospect of sudden indoor precipitation....

DS (nearly 4) decided tonight that his pillow was uncomfortable. This is the same pillow that he has had for over two years

Also, I have the following exchange with DD (2.3) every night.
I turn the light off
DD: Waaaah, I can't see in the dark!!
Me: You don't need to see when you're asleep

Every night!

Ds4 will go to sleep ok, it's the staying asleep that's an issue at the the moment. So he trundles into our bed at some point, because it's cold/hot/bad dreams/wet/thirsty/lonely and if questioned he looks at the gap in between us and says 'you have a space for me' and then demands a 'mummy and daddy both' cuddle and we give in. Every fucking time

My bed is too soft

"I need some music!"

"Help, I got silly legs"

My DS aged 4 has been for last 4 nights trying to persuade daddy that's it's his turn to share mummy's bed, as daddy been in my bed enough .

It started because when DH had his friends over one weekend in october and ds stayed in our bed so DH didn't wake me up.

I can't see when I close my eyes ~ DD age 4

I don't like it when you are alone mummy ~ DS age 7

"Mummy, I need you to look after me!"

Hopefully not a judgment on my parenting

It's the middle of the night and DD has been allowed to come into bed with me just so we can all get some sleep.

"DD, don't kick the covers off!"

"I didn't! My feet did it!"

"Well, tell your feet not to kick the covers off, then."

"I did but they're not listening to me!"

From dd1, aged 3 "there's a pea in my bed and its all lumpy"
More recently she behaved very badly and I refused to sing her special sleep song for her (she's now 7 and quite capable of going to sleep without) she came downstairs 5 minutes after getting into bed to tell me she had been trying to go to sleep for hours but she couldn't and its all my fault because I hadn't sung the special song and she will never be able to get to sleep without it. A further 5 minutes later I was summoned to her bedroom as she still couldn't go to sleep and she had tried everything. I told her she should try closing her eyes, that would be a good start. 2 minutes later..... Zzzzzzz

"I'm scared of my curtains!"

DD (age 3): 'i don't want to go to bed...'
Me: 'but it's time for everything to go to bed now: the squirrels are in bed, the birds are in bed, the cats are in bed' etc egc whilst frantically pointing at the dark empty garden.
DD: (incredulously) 'but I am not a squirrel or or bird or a cat and I don't want to go to bed'

DS8 came out 15 mins after going to bed holding a 9 volt battery. When we asked what he was doing, he said he had to put it in the bin because he just saw a HUGE flame come out of it
He is the master of bedtime evasion excuses

"but there are squirrels in my bed"
Oddly aligned with simplyredhead

This week I came down with a stomach flu, so I had to explain to the DDs (2 and 5) that I was going to bed as soon as they did, so they couldn't play up and storytime would be SHORT.

Midnight, DD1 appears in my room: Mummy, are you still too ill to get up?

Me: Yes.
DD1: Then I will be a helpful girl and sleep here with you so that if I need you you won't have to get up and help me.
Me: Whatever

"Tissue mommy, blow my nose peeeeaaassssseeee!!"

2 secs later

"Tissue mommy, blow my nose peeeeaaassssseeee!!"

2 secs later

"Tissue mommy, blow my nose peeeeaaassssseeee!!"

......repeat for 20 mins

23 month old DD