To withdraw DD from being weighed at school?

[SeaDevilscanPlay]

DH thinks I am making a big fuss about nothing.

I refused consent for DD to be weighed at school as I don't think its neccesary. I didn't make a fuss, just ticked the box saying that I did not give consent.

I wish I had refused consent. DS was weighed and is overweight. I know he is overweight. He takes a high dose of steroids and has a muscle wasting condition, there's not all that much I can do about it. He eats healthily and has seen a dietician (who's happy with his diet) plus the steroids puff him up. He swims but that's about the only exercise he can manage.

I didn't need the school nurse to tell me he's overweight. He's weighed everything three months by his consultant. I also didn't need the letter from our local authority offering "get fit" sessions and a healthy eating plan.

If they need an accurate statistic then they will get it by asking the right questions in the correct place ie at the doctors. Factors to include could be taking into consideration family background, has the child begun puberty, lifestyle, pre existing conditions and medication etc. Jumping on a set of scales in front of everyone in school isn't providing a detailed enough picture. Worse still they then act on possibly flawed results and sends out letters. No wonder people choose to opt out if they see it being handled in this way. I agree that having lots of children in one place is a good opportunity to say vaccinate them en masse, if they've opted in for it, but I disagree with weighing because the subsequent follow up letter is not based on enough reliable facts about the child concerned. The letters have the potential to un-necessarily worry people about a perceived problem when there may not be one. If they need to do then at least do it properly in the right place. School isn't it.

It's very strange and sometimes I wonder if we're in some sort of parallel universe, but there are about 2 noticeably overweight children at ds's school. That's in 210 children.

So only two are noticeably overweight? That means that there could be others who are overweight, just not noticeably so, especially nowadays when our perception of what is overweight and a healthy weight is being skewed due to children getting bigger.

Can I just point out that you can't always tell whether someone is overweight just by looking at them? It's partly due to what I said above how people are getting bigger therefore our idea of what a healthy weight looks like is being skewed so what looks normal to us might very well be overweight. If most people are overweight then of course that's going to look normal. This goes for both adults and children.

Also unless someone is morbidly obese it often just isn't always easy to tell even without the fact most people are overweight these days. If you're just overweight rather than obese it can be easy to hide any extra fat that is been carried underneath clothes that fit well and you won't look fat.

To give you an example, in the summer a friend of mine was going to Italy for two weeks and about a week before she was saying how she was dreading wearing a bikini again as she was now overweight and was dreading showing her 'huge gut' in public. I laughed and told her not to be silly and that she wasn't overweight. I was being genuine when I said that too - she didn't look overweight to me, I've actually always admired her figure and thought she was slim but with a curvy butt. I also couldn't see the 'huge gut' she claimed to have. Fast forward to when she got back and she showed me her holiday photos and I saw the ones of her in a bikini. It was only then that I actually saw that she actually was overweight and was carrying too much fat around her belly. I realised then what she meant about 'huge gut'. It was strange because I never noticed this before. She always dressed well so it wasn't obvious she was overweight however it was only when you took away those clothes and left a bikini that it became obvious she was carrying too much weight.

That's why I find it silly when parents get a letter telling them their child is overweight and they go to the press and splash said child's picture over the page. The child in question may very well be overweight...they may not be...the point is you can't tell just by looking at them when they're fully clothed.

Doesn't that indicate that the scheme isn't working particularly well?

In indicates that identifying potential weight problems young is very much needed BUT it is also reliant on parents being willing to make changes.

It is also a shame more intervention isn't offered to help support families where a child is identified as having a potential weight issue, but having read this thread I get the impression even if it was people would complain that things were being forced on them, that nothing was wrong etc etc.

Like many other posters I have spent years of my life suffering from an ED.

But I don't have a problem with all the reception kids being weighed, ds1 was weighed and no doubt ds2 will be soon as he is in reception.

Knowing your own weight is not an inherently bad thing, it is simply a fact, not a value judgment. I was brought up that being overweight was terrible and I felt immense shame about my weight. I am bringing my dc up to see their weight as simply a fact about them.

If their weight flagged up as overweight then that could trigger discussions about healthy eating and exercise. Nothing wrong with that.

And not all parents realise their dc are overweight. My friend's ds age 5 is shockingly large, but she is oblivious. I can only think it would benefit him for her to be told he is overweight.

I also agree about not necessarily being able to tell healthy weights by seeing someone with their clothes on. My friend's ds looks just a little cuddly in clothes, out of clothes you can see he has rolls of fat.
Probably by the time it is really obvious there is a huge issue to address.

IMO, at that age, it's more embarassing for the kids to be singled out by NOT being weighed, than by being weighed in the first place.

The government has to get its statistics somehow, so it can plan spending, health campaigns etc for the future.

If your DD is an OK weight, what's the problem?

And as others have said, the number of fat/obese kids out there proves that NOT everyone knows (or cares) when their kids are overweight.

PS: My next door neighbour was incensed not long ago because the school had written her a letter to tell her that her teenage DS was over weight. But he IS overweight - the whole family are.

I also think saying 'well my child eats healthy so can't have a problem' is a bit naive. For starters a lot of people have a very weird idea of what a healthy diet actually is. Thanks to products being advertised as healthy when they're really not but people buy into it.

I remember reading an article about a mother being furious that her son had been labelled overweight and that he couldn't be because he ate a healthy diet and listed his typical day's worth of food. The thing that stood out to me was she emphasized the fact that for breakfast he would only eat Special K and never ate anything like eggs for breakfast. I'm sorry but since when were eggs bad for you? Eggs for breakfast is actually one of the healthiest breakfasts you can have. And as for Special K being healthy...well I'm not even going to go there. It's sad but people have been brainwashed into thinking that processed sugar filled cereal (or what I would call shit in a box) is a healthy breakfast.

I'm not quite sure why everyone thinks this is a new thing. I recall having a school medical when I started school in 1969 and my mother was a school doctor doing medicals on reception children (and older ones too) for years too.

Why do people think this is another sign of the nanny state? Did it go out of favour for a while and then come back in? It is certainly not new.

FWIW, I allowed my children to be weighed and measured. I know they are not under or over weight and am content for them to be part of national statistics. But I can understand why some parents would not be happy for their child to be monitored in this way.

Its already been said but its done for national statistics so we can keep a handle on the figures over the country and gauge if the interventions put in place eg change 4 life, school PE, healthy eating education, child health programme etc are having any effect. There are huge numbers of overweight kids at nursery age before they get to school so the height weight measures are done at early age and again later on. the statistics have shown that levels are dropping in some areas and staying the same in others so its good to have the comparisons so we can learn from the successful areas about what works. Its all anonymous at stats level, postcodes only. the names etc are only used to inform parents of overweight / underweight kids that this is the case and to offer them support. In our area there are opportunities for 6 week courses and clubs to get the overweight kids more active and to support parents with healthier life choices. Many do not see that their child is overweight,(puppy fat... big boned etc etc) one lad was so big he was unable to do PE and parents were offered support to try to help him as he was unhappy and being picked on a lot. Great... except they would meet him at the gate after school with a huge family bar of choc, not even a small bar a family bar ffs. they just did not get the harm they were doing to him. This is why the measuring is a good thing as it can target those at risk before its too late as well as give a clear picture of our children health in UK.

Children are getting fatter and we need to be aware of this so health commissioners can commission interventions. It might not be your child who is overweight but by not measuring 'normal' children it skews the stats.

what we need is action as we already know that there is a problem, we are aware of the problem and we know it will get worse and taking stats will not change the problem.

Building cycle paths to join up schools both secondary and junior will, make every new housing estate building pavements will as a safe place to cycle to school will allow parents to know there children can cycle safely instead of being taken in the car, getting children outside playing on playing fields will. Stopping large food manufactories lining the pockets of each party in power will

The trouble with this whole initiative is that the well-meaning advice that comes as a result of it to overweight kids, is completely terrible. There are two parts of it that I have personal experience of as being two elements of a completely fucked up attitude to food: one is the analysis, the focus on the whole thing, which can lead to fetishising of under- and over-eating in different ways at alternate times; and the other is the low-fat dogma, which is utter crap, and completely counterproductive to people who have a tendency to put on weight, and feeds into the first because of constant low level (or high level!) hunger

The principle that as a society we look after our children's health from a preventative perspective looks alright until you realise that all the things that are actually done about overweight are awful

It isn't a new thing, the only thing that is new is that parents are asked their permission. As to 'very few overweight children' , it depends where you live. I thought the same until I moved and now there a far more. It must be useful to have post code statistics for planning.

A friend of mine works for social services, she has one degree in sociology and one in psychology. She is married, and they have two sons (same age as my sons, so we do spend a lot of time together when we are in Norway)

Her youngest son saw the school nurse (In Norway children still see the school nurse for a health and developmental check twice during primary- each check up lasts around 45 minutes and covers mobility, healthy eating, pen grip, concerns, etc and later puberty), and was weighed, and my friend came out of the meeting in absolute shock that the nurse had said that she needed to start keeping an eye on her sons portion sizes, as was above average for weight.

She was not frothing for long though, and started paying attention to her sons eating. He would always go back for seconds at dinner/tea. He would always end up in the fridge looking for snacks soon after (Puddings are not part of a Norwegian diet, mostly people only eat pudding during the weekend, or for parties). He would make him self a nutella sandwich as a snack between dinner and evening meal. (In Norway people eat sandwich/cereals for breakfast, packed lunch for school, hot dinner, and sandwich/cereals/fruit before bed)

My friend decided the school nurse had a point, and she started restricting nutella to the weekends, and stopped having sweets/crisps in the house. She hesitated about the dinners, she felt she could not restrict his tea if he was still hungry after the first serving.

I should add, this boy plays football twice a week, and basket ball twice a week, in addition to being out playing football with his friends "down the road" at any waking moment. Skiing and mountain trips.

My friend is now actually quite glad the nurse gave her a wake up call as she herself had not noticed her son putting on weight. She never used to put her sons on the scales either, she figured they were happy and healthy and sporty. It allowed her to adjust things a little with regards to the balance of snacks and exercise.

IMO, at that age, it's more embarassing for the kids to be singled out by NOT being weighed, than by being weighed in the first place.

Oh silly me! I hadn't thought of that. Aren't I lucky that I have a random stranger on MN to help me understand my own DD so much better?

I'll tell you what. I'll ring them now and tell them that you've helped me see the light and I've changed my mind

Goldmandra, are you the op?

There are a number of interventions to support parents to educate children on healthy lifestyles (the aim is not to lose weight). I'm guessing the majority of parents are ignoring the letters and choosing not to access support. in my area this is so true, out of 400 letters sent out saying there was a potential issue and inviting parents to talk, 30 turned up for appointments, out of the 30 who were offered FREE access to our fancy new leisure centre for 6 weeks of activities 17 turned up but by the end of the 6 weeks only 12 were still involved. shocking I thought until I read some of the threads here and realise that people will procrastinate over and over about it all being wrong for their child who is fine (even when they are not) and not really give a damn how having the figures will help other peoples children who need it, being healthy is part of a happy fulfilled life and talking about healthy lifestyle (not diets or weight) is something we all should be doing. portion sizes are massive nowadays and most people do not know what a sensible portion of food is especially age appropriate portions. we also are more used to seeing larger people around so our perception of a healthy size to be is skewed, yes we are all different sizes and shapes but carrying layers of fat is not healthy you can be tall short muscular thin bigger sized etc etc but if you can grab handfuls of fat whatever your size or shape you are not healthy and kids in this situation are storing up problems for future health. its simple yet people still argue about Govt having such details. frankly I don't think the govt give a shit that STEPAWAY weighs xxx and is xxx height, but this info combined with millions more gives a picture of the nation and where to target resources for the best to help those who need it. They are hardly going to look random little me up on a computer and tut that I am overweight that's not why they gather stats, they don't individualise it I really can't get why people are all shock horror about someone having data on them or their kids. Marketing companies have tons on us all from all sorts of places, big brother it ain't.

I agree that more physical activity and that being more enjoyable would probably be more effective, Sunshine.

I also think that children whose weight is acceptable can still be being fed woefully inappropriate diets. As a childminder I've seen shocking food provided and not just for overweight children. The healthy lifestyles and eating education, such as it is, should be targeted at all parents, not just those whose children are not of a very healthy weight.

Schools should be leading the child into a healthy lifestyle and that includes spending as much time as possible outside, learning actively and feeling invigorated. Obviously this gets harder as they get older but there's an awful lots of the EYFS, KS1 and KS2 that could be delivered through forest schools type activities.

*School sports days have to be team based and non competitive, because competition upsets those who are 'aren't good' at sport. The teams were mixed across the year group and the races were frankly inane for a year 6 student, because it also had to be appropriate for year three.

The only after school clubs offered were team sports and there was no athletics to speak of. Rather than looking at home life and diet in isolation, I think schools have to look at the amount of times children are static, in cramped classes for much of their primary school day. Isn't it a case of output as well as input?*
many many schools do lots from danceathons in the playground before school, wake and shake in the classroom, organised activity at lunch skipping workshops at break, circus skills, equipment boxes in the playground to vary things round so everyone finds something they like to do that gets them active, getting kids up and active for a few minutes each hour (brain gym) running gardening clubs to get them outside and active, keeping animals a myriad of clubs, some competative team sports others like street dancing that all get the kids active. PE has been renamed Physical activity with more emphasis on getting kids active for the whole lesson rather than standing in line to throw a bean bag. Some schools ARE making huge efforts and if yours isn't get onto the governors, talk to the head and get them to change.

bold fail sorry *

As an aside I think that rather than weighing and measuring children at school and having policies and policing around their lunch boxes, schools should be looking at their physical education programme which is woeful.

why should it be an either or thing?

Healthy eating and exercise are both vitally important part of a healthy lifestyle and schools should encourage both of these.

That said, schools are very limited in what they can do both due to time/funding constraints and the battle with parents who don't want school 'interfering' and think its all nothing to do with school. Really schools can't do right for doing wrong on matters like this.