To expect my five year old to get himself dressed and put his shoes on himself?

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My 5yo DS won't get himself dressed in the morning or for bed, and insists on me doing it. Nor will he put his shoes on himself. He#s perfectly capable, does it himself at his Dads, but won't at mine.
When I do try and make him, he fusses so much that it is just easier for me to do it myself.
:(

YANBU but mine won't really either except when she wants to, so it's sporadic. She is very very reluctant to get dressed in the mornings anyway. Trying to insist at least with shoes though.

Well you're giving in to his demands then.
My 5 year old would rather I got him dressed, but I don't.

Yanbu. I still dress my son for school. But ill ask him to put his trousers on ...while i grab something, i tell him. Just to encourage him. He does put his own shoes on.
And he must get changed as soon as we get in.
Which he does. Always back to front and insids out i dont ever say anything though as at least he is trying. Its a start in the right direction

Thanks everyone. Twoshakes I know I'm giving in, but I thought maybe I was expecting too much from him. Right, i'm determined to start getting him dressed himself now!

Aah I see, is he at school yet? He will need to do this at school and quickly. Plus you know he does it for his dad, so he can do it.
Don't give in, my ds takes ages but he still does it eventually.
Good luck

YANBU

My five year old is awful at getting dressed but we try to persevere because he's in Y1 at school and they expect them to get themselves sorted for PE.

What about setting a kitchen timer and asking him to finish dressing before it rings/beeps? If he succeeds, he gets a star for his chart, or a tiny sweet after breakfast, whatever works. Don't insist on perfection, inside out/back to front doesn't matter at this stage, you just need him to do it unaided.

My 5 yr old would rather I did it. Telly goes on pause while he's getting dressed and can be taken off of pause when he's dressed. This normally makes him do it!

I was going to suggest some kind of positive encouragement like a reward chart or biscuit if he does it himself.

My DS is also 5 and can get dressed by himself but he gets so distracted it takes forever. His twin brother is Mr Competitive and is dressed in a minute flat.

Actually one thing that does work with Mr Distracted is if I race him. So, who can get dressed faster you or mummy? That gets him moving. Never make the kids race each other though as it always ends in tears.

My nephew is 11 and still can't tie his shoe laces, his parents have mollycoddled him to the extent that I don't know how the boy breathes without being told to.

Natural consequences - no time for story if he doesn't put his pyjamas on, that kind of thing? My 3yo gets herself dressed etc.

I wouldn't worry.
He can do it. Praise him for any effort he makes. Rewards are good, IMO. A sticker for putting a shoe on .....
I would help him if he wants it. He's only little. Not with you all the time.
New at school?
Maybe he just needs a bit of babying from you amidst all the growing up he's having to do.
Yes. I know I sound like a soft touch.

My four year old is a bit lazy like this. I make her get her bottom half on and help with the top half. Obvs fiddly things like zips on boots and buttons I do for her. She takes her clothes off herself now. I time her getting her clothes off doe the bath. It's the countdown from 10, although we do seem to add 9 1/2 and 9 and 3/4

My just 4year old won't/can't even take all of his clothes off. He gets into a panic and tangled in his shirt. He can put his coat on and wellies. That is about it. I try to teach him every once in a while, using the helping out half way method, but I can't really take the protesting. He hates mornings anyway and getting out of the house.

At the moment I'm just concentrating on keeping mornings positive after some resistance towards going to nursery, so want to avoid unnecessary confrontation. I'll teach him more in the summers when there is less clothing to worry about and no nursery to get to.

meh, I have other things to worry about.

My 4 year old is like this, is fine in school, for her dad and nan.

I think she just enjoys me doing it, and as long as the mornings and bedtime run smoothly this is one battle I just don't care about.

My ds5 is like this, he's perfectly capable of getting dressed, does it at school etc, but had a meltdown this morning because I'm mean and make him do it himself where as dh helps him!!! Unlucky for him dh is away on business :)

Take him to school in his pyjamas.

Not sure that "giving in to him" should be viewed as quite so terrible as it seems to be on MN!

I agree that not ideal if parents are having to do unnecessary extra work but still - I think "meh, I have other things to worry about" sums it up!

I think we also tend to give in about things that don't really bother us that much, and take a stance where things really do...

My 5 year old has only just (as in the past week!) started dressing himself. He's 6 on Friday. I didn't mind doing it, happy to baby him as I knew he'd grow out of it soon enough and he is my bayyyyyayyyyaybeeee.

He still comes home from school on PE days with stuff on inside out and back to front. .

how about making it a race who can dress the quickest

it works for ds, well sometimes

I dress my 5yr old son every morning because it is quicker and I pick my battles, at 8.05am every morning isn't the time for that. Don't sweat the small stuff!

My 6 year old is a nightmare with this. Sometimes I give in just because it's quicker .

To be fair, she'll get herself dressed but she struggles with tights so I'll help her with the tights and end up doing everything else. If she's wearing socks or trousers she does the whole lot by herself. She doesn't even ask for any help at the weekends, she just goes off and gets dressed. I don't know why I always end up helping on a school day . Probably due to panic that we'll be late if I don't!